Hey y'all, this is a bit of a personal rant and maybe a space for other people to share their experiences in the comments. I'm just looking for some advice on how to make the wait for bottom surgery more bearable.
Mine is probably about 6-8 months away, though I don't have an exact surgery date yet. There are some days where it's really fine and I don't even notice my parts down there but then there are others where it's unbearable to even get out of bed. Sometimes I just want to cut the damn thing off myself, I feel like I can't bear to lug it around for even one more day.
I know that I'm a woman (ish) no matter my genitals but it just pisses me off so much that I'll forever be an experiment for people (especially men) when I try dating as long as I don't have a vulva. That I can't go to women's changing rooms without having a complete breakdown (I did it once and have avoided them since in the last 1.5 years). That I can't go swimming in the same clothes all my friends can. That I can't enjoy buying nice underwear because it always looks so horribly wrong. That I feel it every second of every day, that I always have to cover it up when I wear tight bottoms, that I always have to worry and think about it. I hate it, I really do. Every time I touch it, it feels more like a tumor or some kind of demon that has manifested in my body. My bottom dysphoria has become worse and worse the better everything else gets. You win some, you lose some, I guess. All in all, life has gotten significantly better in the last two years for me. I feel like I still have the same amount of dysphoria as I did before starting HRT, only now it's concentrated more on this part of my body.
Okay, rant over, haha. Hope to hear some of your experiences and what helped you through the wait.
I feel this a lot, hits me right in the despair.
I started the process of getting bottom surgery about a year and a half ago, and saying I'll have it done in as much time is optimistic... I don't know if I can wait that long. It's getting worse every day.
I don't know where I was going with this, ig you're not alone.