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this post was submitted on 04 May 2025
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Thai sounds like you should be exclusively living on your own.
you seem to have misunderstood, i can handle other members of the household, the problem is having people i don't actually live with show up outside my control.
Like every now and then us kids spend a couple days at my mom and her SO's place, and that's fine because i know everyone and everyone is staying there. But a few times they've had other people over when i was there and it's so fucking uncomfortable, i have never met this other person before and their presence breaks all the routines i am used to.
Think of it like cats, they generally love sharing territory with some other cats that they've known for a long time and get along with, but if you suddenly bring home a new cat and just dump it in the living room it's all but guaranteed that all of them will freak out and be miserable, because now everyone feels insecure and threatened.
While I get what you're saying, if this wasn't directly established when the roommate moved in it is completely unreasonable to say they can't have someone over for a few hours in a shared living space.
Humans aren't cats though. As someone with autism and social anxiety, what you're describing does not sound neurotypical. A sibling or parent having a couple friends over who you haven't met yet is very normal.
Yea, nah, I didn't misunderstand. You are not describing the normal reaction. Outside the obvious of "too often" it's pretty unreasonable to think that someone who shares a living space with you can't invite people into what is also their home.
If your home MUST be your space as much as you're saying, you shouldn't have roommates. The cat metaphor doesn't work because these are temporary houseguests brought in by a co-equal member of the household who has equal rights to use of the space as you do.