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The best thing you can do for the fediverse is just be kind (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by Cris_Color@lemmy.world to c/fediverse@lemmy.world

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The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.

On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-

Be kind
Ask people what they think, and why
Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility (EDIT: no, this is not specifically referring to Nazis. I get it, they're the first thing that comes to mind. I'm not telling you to approve of Nazis I'm just saying be kind to your fellow lemmites)
Engage sincerely
Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say
Make this small space worth being in

A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.

Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.

The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.

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[-] SuiXi3D@fedia.io 43 points 2 weeks ago

The second best thing is remember that tolerance of intolerance breeds intolerance.

[-] misk@sopuli.xyz 22 points 2 weeks ago

I think part of pleasantness is not bringing politics into things that weren’t intended to be about politics.

[-] Banana@sh.itjust.works 27 points 2 weeks ago

The problem is politics impacts everything and the word "political" means different things to different people.

To some, talking about being gay is political, even though to people who are in that community, it's literally just talking about their lives.

[-] misk@sopuli.xyz 7 points 2 weeks ago

It did not impact this thread at all before this comment which was my point exactly.

[-] Banana@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 weeks ago

I definitely saw several comments that strike me as political, which is exactly my point, everyone has a different definition.

When every aspect of your life is affected by politics, everything is political.

[-] misk@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 weeks ago

There are now, this one was the first.

[-] Banana@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 weeks ago

Aight dude

[-] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

[-] yardy_sardley@lemmy.ca 15 points 2 weeks ago

To interject with a somewhat pedantic point, nothing is truly apolitical. But there is something to be said about sensing the proper time and place to start a political argument.

[-] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

This is a whole different train of thought (mine is, I won't speak for yours) and I don't wanna derail my original thought but that's a thing I've been thinking about a lot lately.

I agree with you, and subscribe to the idea of tolerance as a social contract that, once broken, is no longer owed to the one who broke the contract.

At the same time, I've also learned that very explicitly, feeling persecuted is a requisite ingredient in radicalizing people into hate groups. And that at an individual scale, it's generally undeserved compassion that helps deradicalize them. We know this from the accounts of people who managed to leave hate groups- a little while ago there was really good (and long) interview with someone who used to be leader of a white nationalist group where he talked a fair bit about that idea, since he now works with a nonprofit that helps families and friends support and deradicalize loved ones, but it's far from the only account

At present I'm really not sure how I personally reconcile those two things I belive to be true. The Nazi bar analogy is real.

I know wading into this more specific conversion runs the risk of immediately derailing what I was trying to start a discussion about, but I figured I'd share my thoughts. If anyone reads this and has thoughts to share (though I'd prefer not to get 50 comments just saying I suck for having complicated views on what we do about the predicament the US and world is in with the rise of fascist ideology. I'm interested in what's effective in terms of fixing the problem just like you are) I'd be interested in hearing them. I'm still looking for a way to synthesize my beliefs into a coherent whole.

Edit: thought I'd add the interview for anyone curious. I don't see everything exactly the way he does but I think understanding the problem and exactly how it works is necessary of we're going to address it, and I think his account is a really useful glimpse into certain aspects of how that world works

[-] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I agree with everything you said at the top and this comment as well. You don't have to be mean, cruel, or shitty to the bad actors. In fact the best case scenario is to make your case once and then walk away. It's much easier to talk about than to actually do, but it's really effective. If you assume they're not trolls or bad actors, even better. All of these actions curtail flame wars, which is what they're after anyway if you're correct that they're a bad actor or troll.

[-] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Thanks for your thoughts, thats a bit different of an approach than I'd really thought about, I feel like my thoughts have kinda been stuck at both extremes

That gives me new things to think about, thank you ❤️

[-] dota__2@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

they're going to "feel" persecuted, no matter what. might as well make them actually fucking fear it.

[-] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

i think if someone's intolerant, pointing out that they're wrong is something appropriate, but picking a fight over it is not worth it. it makes you like that person in that meme:

edit: in bad cases, report it and move on with your life.

[-] mike_wooskey@lemmy.thewooskeys.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

That suggests we should be intolerant of intolerance, which is an oxymoron.

[-] SuiXi3D@fedia.io 23 points 2 weeks ago

Almost as if the statement is referring to the paradox of tolerance.

By allowing people like Nazis, Christofascists, Tankies, etc. a platform, it only invites more sharing that view to spread their bullshit around. This makes those that don’t share those extremist views uncomfortable they then leave those places. You see it on platforms like Truth Social, X, and 4Chan.

If this is to be a kind place, we must encourage kindness and rid ourselves of unkindness. You can’t tolerate intolerance, lest it spread and take over.

[-] Banana@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

If you allow wolves and sheep into a space, that is a wolves-only space.

(For context, I agree with you.)

[-] dota__2@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago

it's only an oxymoron if you're a moron. tolerance is a social contract. the intolerant break that contract and are no longer to be protected by it.

[-] fubo@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

Not really. Nazis are scum and deserve to be kicked out.

[-] rocket_dragon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 weeks ago

Paradox of Tolerance - Karl Poppler - 1945

It's a shame that something we already figured out 60 years ago still needs to be learned by most people.

The good news is, this is an opportunity for you to grow and be better right now. It's never too late to improve yourself.

[-] Coelacanth@feddit.nu 5 points 2 weeks ago

60 years ago? Buddy, I have some bad news for you...

[-] rocket_dragon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 weeks ago

Wdym financial cashes, pandemic, doomscrolling, Trump got the presidency twice??

You're talking crazy it's only 2005 bro, futuristic computer interface means frutiger aero, I listen to music on my iPod and text on my candybar flip phone </3</3

[-] Coelacanth@feddit.nu 5 points 2 weeks ago

Don't worry, at least 2005 was only ten years ago.

...wait.

[-] Banana@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 weeks ago

Sure, if you think of it as purely semantic, or a zero sum game with no nuance, but it's not.

Gotta be intolerant of those being needlessly cruel to those just trying to live their lives, and gotta be tolerant of those just trying to live their lives that don't affect you, even if you find it cringey.