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The girlfriend-zone
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
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I'm a cishet dude. I think sex is awesome. but I don't understand the need to fuck everything that moves.
I get it, women can be very beautiful, sexy, cute, pretty, cool, whatever... there's all kinds of nice. and I do appreciate that a lot. I do appreciate seeing a woman who's any of those things. even none of those things. but I don't get ... like why do you feel the need to fuck every single person? friends are so fulfilling. the endless thirst is weird.
edit: please don't come at me with evo psych shit. can't believe people actually do this still. shitting is a biological drive too, but I don't look at every surface as a toilet because I understand that it's appropriate to shit at a toilet but not on a driveway. I think it's possible to respect women as much as you can respect driveways to not see them as objects to your so-called biological drive.
also how come women don't try fuck everything with a dick? you think it's not biological for women? come on.
no the answer isn't evolution or biology. it's sociology. we need to educate and socialize our boys better.
Contrary to what most dudes here are preaching, I think this happens just because most dudes rarely have any deep personal connection with a woman and, once they do, they feel attracted to them.
That last bit is easy to answer. I mean, I agree with you 100%.
When you’re talking about the difference between the drive of men and women though there’s one really really huge difference.
A woman can have one child a year and for a limited window in her life. A man can have as many kids as they can get women. A woman needs to be selective about a mate whereas a man can push out as many children as possible and hopefully some of them will be able to carry on the dna.
That is if we’re looking at it from a purely biological standpoint and we don’t take our intelligence into account, and I don’t know how much time you’ve spent around the average motherfucker, but I worked in a gas station in a town with no bars so I was the only way a man could get alcohol. And oh boy, the average motherfucker ain’t right.
I tend to agree. People tend to discount the biological drive, and even of we aren’t animals about it the drive certainly will color decision making.
That leaves the social factors that keep the sexes from easily and widely just being friends (a mess that isn’t gonna be solved in this discussion) and how we use our brains to override biology…some plainly better about it than others.
Word of the day (because I suspect many humans don't realize they fall into this category):
Demisexual
I didn't say I don't have sexual attraction. if anything my attraction has broadened since my teenage years, I find so many more types attractive than I did during peak hormonal days.
finding people sexy or beautiful isn't the same as treating all of them as goals. you can just think hey she's hot without needing to get in their pants.
also I'm not saying people shouldn't try to fuck anyone, I'm saying they shouldn't try to fuck everyone.
Well not having sexual attraction at all would be asexual, rather than demi-sexual, and even then, you can still find or think someone is attractive without actually being sexually attracted to them, as it's not really the only form of attraction to exist.
And unfortunately, usually due to any number of personal problems, including but not limited to lack of impulse control, it seems quite difficult for many to not want sex with whoever they find attractive, as I've personally seen several times by now.
But of course that's hard for me to exactly understand given I don't seem to feel sexual or romantic attraction to anyone myself, despite having or being close enough emotionally to people that either would be reasonably apparent.
And of course, I don't mean offense toward people in consensual circumstances such as an open relationship with that second line, quite the contrary, as that's not an impulse control issue, nor an problem if consent is given and done safely, etc.
Demisexuals do have sexual attraction though.
It's just they don't really want to have sex with someone unless they first have an emotional bond (and since it's a spectrum, some literally don't find a person sexy at all until there's an emotional bond).
A lot of people don't have that limitation though - it's not a goal or anything, they just also get sexual urges with hot people and therefore want to have sex.
Those people usually are up for / have one night stands for example, because they don't really need any emotional connection to want to have sex.
It’s a biological drive. Animals have evolved to desire multiple partners because it increases the chance of genetically healthy offspring.
Many people are completely controlled by their reptilian brain and their instinctual desires.
Humans are susceptible to programming. We learn how to behave from our environment. The culture uses hyper sexuality to attract attention of the animal brain. This has caused it a feedback loop of extreme hyper sexuality. Good luck navigating this world if you’ve avoided it and are trying to find a partner that does the same.