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Trump taps Rep. Matt Gaetz as attorney general
(www.cnbc.com)
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this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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The Cabinet list so far, as it was officially leaked moments ago on NudeAfrica.com:
State - Matt Gaetz
Treasury - Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino
Interior - A t-shirt cannon
Justice - DraftKings®
Agriculture - owner of that McDonald’s
Commerce - currently accepting bids
Labor - Immortan Joe
Defense - Vladimir Putin
Housing and Urban Development - it’s Trump, so probably Herschel Walker, ffs
Transportation - Elon Musk’s twitter account
Energy - V. Putin
Health and Human Services - sold off and privatized between Nestlé, Saudi Aramco, and Ticketmaster
Education - Kid Rock, Marjorie Taylor-Greene, and Lauren Boebert, and all sewn together as a human centipede
Veterans' Affairs - Captain Morgan; under secretaries Jack Daniels and Jim Beam
Homeland Security - Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, once the check clears
Just need Camacho on that list.
Poor Camacho gets shit for being thick, but when the world's smartest man turned up he asked his advice gave him a job. Eventually.
That is a very valid point. He had the strength to yield. The problem with our real world Camacho is he's too weak to do that.
Satire is dead. I earnestly predict at least one more pick on this list proves actually true.
The Onion writers: "Let's go with this one, the real picks are too over the top."
Matt "Pizza" Gaetz
Kristi "Ol Yeller" Noem
Housing and urban development will probably be that guy who owns Monarch real estate investment. Large scale slumlord.