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Insecurities (self.ftm)
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by cowboycrustation to c/ftm

After moving states to a much more progressive one i feel like i get clocked all of the time here, whereas back home that rarely ever happened. When i pass by male strangers they dont do the nod thing to me. its very disconcerting. I get they'd by people who don't know me. I wish I could know what it was that makes people clock me like that. It feels like I'm not man enough here. Not being stealth feels like being naked. I don't like it.

Part of me wants to talk about my experiences as a trans man because it is a unique expierence that needs to be known, but at the same time I feel like as soon as I tell people I'm trans I automatically become Man Lite™ and a bunch of assumptions are made about me. And then I'm not man enough and am not treated as any other man would be treated. I wish T would do its magic already. I'm constantly feeling dysphoric these days.

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[-] bremen15@feddit.org 8 points 2 months ago

What does being clocked mean?

[-] cowboycrustation 4 points 2 months ago

being clocked is when someone notices youre trans against your will

[-] bremen15@feddit.org 4 points 2 months ago

I nod at women. But I nod a lot.

[-] llamatron@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

So, if I read it correctly, you think strangers not nodding hello means they recognise you're trans?

[-] cowboycrustation 4 points 2 months ago

I mean it in the sense of being percieved as not-man, not nececarily trans.

[-] llamatron@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Strangers not nodding hello could just mean they're not as friendly as you're used to. Where I live (UK) it would take a lot for us to acknowledge a stranger is even there let alone nod or say hello. You'd get a thanks for holding a door or letting someone passed but without that interaction we're not even gonna glance in your direction.

[-] cowboycrustation 2 points 2 months ago

i don't think it's objective fact but it does make me feel that way sometimes, yeah. Maybe it's a cultural or age difference.

this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2024
22 points (100.0% liked)

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