[-] neo@lemy.lol 49 points 2 months ago

If there's a full grown man standing in front of my truck and I can still see him, I just don't feel safe!

[-] neo@lemy.lol 74 points 2 months ago

Your honour, I asked her if she wanted to have it and she said no. I wasn't sure what that meant so I asked again. And to make things clearer I told her that "yes" and "maybe later" where the only options. She still didn't say yes, but after some time I decided that "later" had come. So I Azure you, I did nothing wrong.

[-] neo@lemy.lol 48 points 2 months ago

I'm trying to come up with a dialogue that follows these rules, but it gets weird fast.

You ghoulishly sloush around the aisles, avoiding eye contact at all cost, but still a customer talks to you:

C: "Hi, excuse me. I'm looking for tomatoes."

You: "We are out for today."

C: "Oh, that's unfortunate."

You: "" (still avoiding eye contact)

C: "Well, how about I come back tomorrow?"

You: "There will be a new shipment of tomatoes by tomorrow."

C: "Okay, great! Then I just come back tomorrow?"

You: "If you come back tomorrow, there will be a new shipment of tomatoes."

C: "Are you alright?"

Avoiding eye contact, you silently slither away.

[-] neo@lemy.lol 59 points 2 months ago

The other guy never stood a chance! That's the power of the F.O.R.K.L.I.F.T. system:

Forklift
Observe
Rule the situation
Knockout your competition
Lift her into your arms
Initiate eye contact
Fuck
Target your next cargo

50
ich🏛️iel (lemy.lol)
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by neo@lemy.lol to c/ich_iel@feddit.de

Jetzt mal ernsthaft!

Edit: Also gut ja, ich gebe zu Tortellini mit Broccoli-Sahne-Sauce und Spaghetti alla puttanesca das hat Pasta für uns gemacht.

Ravioli oder Tortellini, gekochen und kurz in Olivenöl mit Knoblauch und Peperoni angebraten mit Parmesan das versteht sich doch von selbst, oder!?

Aber abgesehen davon, dass Pasta uns ernährt wenn es das Portemonnaie nicht kann und der neuartigen Verwertungsmöglichkeit für Weizen... Ja, Lasagne sollte man erwähnen.

Aber abgesehen davon und von Linguine mit Rote Bete und Ziegenkäse, Casarecce mit karamellisierten Zwiebeln & Speck, Tagliatelle mit Weichkäse und Nüssen, Fusilli Bucati Corti mit Grünkohl & Feta, Fettuccine mit Spinat, Lachs, Gorgonzolasoße, Spaghetti all’ Assassina, Spaghetti Carbonara, Cannelloni mit Ricotta Spinat sowie Tagliatelle mit Räucherlachs, Paprika und Majoran... was hat Pasta jemals für uns getan!?

[-] neo@lemy.lol 58 points 2 months ago

Thank you for being genuinely interested in the opinion of others and for explaining culture differences.

[-] neo@lemy.lol 47 points 2 months ago

This image is oddly giving me being hot envy

[-] neo@lemy.lol 67 points 3 months ago

No, no. You see, Recall runs locally. It's "edge computing". Which would imply to me that it runs on my router...? Anyway, it's not the cloud, it's edge and AI and surely super cyber, too (whatever that means). My point is, I could give you many more buzzwords, so don't worry. You won't need Wireshark ever again, just ask the AI if your network is secured. 👍

[-] neo@lemy.lol 41 points 3 months ago

That's a dumb story. I give you my upvote. Now leave.

[-] neo@lemy.lol 60 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Are you seriously ill, but don't want to leave a ton of medical debts to your family?

Then donate your brain tissue to BrainCloud™! Instead of costing your family a lot of money, you might make them Millionaires* and also reduce CO2 emissions of world leading AI applications! Leaving a better world for our children!
And who knows, maybe you will even enjoy thinking about chat bot responses in weird nightmarish ways for the rest of what might seem like an eternity.

~*We offer a donation compensation of up to $1.000.000. Actual rates depend on brain capabilities, size and constitution. Payouts are determined by our quality assurance team. Payouts are not guaranteed. In cases of brain tissue with insufficient quality, compensational fees for testing, lab work, and services may be charged to the donor's family.~

[-] neo@lemy.lol 43 points 3 months ago

Let's take a step back from that provocation and look at the bigger picture.

  • This is intended to create division and make money (like Frank Reynolds would).
  • Neighbours shooting neighbours or rural folks shooting city people (or the other way around), that won't lead to any takeover or to any surrendering of power on a larger scale.
  • That's just terrorism and could (at most) cause chaos and terror.
  • If there actually was domestic violence on a larger scale, it would come down to: who controls the military or which part of the military is on which side.
  • I would avoid meaningless skirmishes e.g. in a suburb of Seattle.

I'm not saying succumb to bullies, but whatever you do, be smart about it.

[-] neo@lemy.lol 60 points 3 months ago

True. Still I think it is not possible to have too much public attention, when it comes to evil corporate stuff. Keep a light on these mf.

30
submitted 3 months ago by neo@lemy.lol to c/memes@lemmy.world

but where's Wallace!?

[-] neo@lemy.lol 39 points 3 months ago

So what you're saying is, we need tougher laws against activists! /s

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neo

joined 3 months ago