Because "After Trump, Our Turn" doesn't seem to have much historical evidence of success.

Sheriff's Lieutenant Ambien Walrus reporting for duty!

Okay, I'm convincing myself he really doesn't realize that he isn't running against Nikki Haley again.

She was Indian, now all of a sudden she's black (Harris's father is Jamaican, her mother was from Chennai, Haley's parents were both Punjabi)

Nobody knows her last name (Harris has always been Harris, but Haley's maiden name was Randhawa)

Oh god, he doesn't know that Kamala Harris isn't Nikki Haley, does he?

Ford was, based on the behavior of the Reagan, W Bush, and Trump administrations, entirely wrong to pardon Nixon. There is no reason to repeat his mistake.

Now that it's considered it a slur, we can expect huge increase in its use on the platform, right?

You're definitely paying for legality and safety, but when you have to search through five different streaming apps to find that the movie you're looking for can only be rented via yet another service, the convenience becomes debatable.

In case anybody doesn't already know this, the Chamber of Commerce is a non-governmental organization of private (and also publicly traded) business owners that just sounds like it's part of the government.

But God forbid we let the FDA have a look at these supplements, because if we did, the Pyramid Scheme Industrial Complex would collapse and with it the economy of Utah and the finances of the LDS Church.

Thomas Midgley, Jr.

Also invented CFCs (the stuff that put the hole in the ozone layer).

In his later years, he had limited mobility, so he designed a system of pulleys and levers to give him some degree of independence. Eventually, he was found strangled by his contraption.

When your political project is 'make everyone as miserable as I am', whining about every goddamn thing is actually a kind of praxis.

Ah fuck, it's been scraping the Facebook comments under every math problem with parentheses that was posted for 'engagement'