[-] drbollocks 7 points 4 weeks ago

asher is a cheater, imho. liz was, sadly, just a side and BF was the main.

[-] drbollocks 7 points 4 months ago

thank you 💕 i came so close and lived

[-] drbollocks 7 points 4 months ago

it is bipolar indeed. thank you 💕

[-] drbollocks 7 points 4 months ago

i get to befriend an awesome android though!

40
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by drbollocks to c/nostupidquestions@lemmy.world

like “supporting” someone with adhd but hating them and believing they should be shunned or treated differently for interrupting others, not paying attention, and not being able to sit still, rather than try to help them or tell them not to interrupt the conversation.

or “supporting” deaf people but getting mad because they only talk sign language and can’t hear what you say.

I have quite a few disorders and i’ve been talked abt and treated like shit for it, and not just because I have the disorder but because im different. I don’t fit in anywhere and never will.

all of my “friends” talk shit abt me and my disabilities, and then one person is always like “oh yeah, this person said this about you and they hate that you can’t pay attention, and that person says you should jump off a cliff!”

9
submitted 5 months ago by drbollocks to c/relationship_advice@lemmy.world

I asked what we meant and she replied with: “no wonder you don’t know”

then I said if she wanted to be, and that if she didn’t want me to talk to her then I wouldn’t

23
submitted 5 months ago by drbollocks to c/general@lemmy.world

i have heard this a lot with downright cruelty or bullying. i’ve talked to someone and they have said “they could just be having a bad day!!”

you may think you’re helping if you say this, but it doesn’t help in my opinion.

11
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by drbollocks to c/bisexual@lemmy.world

i’m definitely starting to like men more again. while i wouldn’t mind dating a woman, i found them pretty, and would probably say yes if they asked me out, what if i’m really just a straight woman who only likes men?? :,)

(im aware preference can be fluid, i just wonder if i really do like women)

10
submitted 5 months ago by drbollocks to c/rant@lemmy.sdf.org

it doesn’t mean i can’t be taken care of just because im autistic.

it’s not my fault i got hurt for years as a child.

i’m not less than human just because im bi and autistic.

i know you say “people” hate me, that my friends don’t like my interests and see me as lesser. it can’t be that EVERYONE IN THE WORLD, EVEN MY CLOSE FRIENDS hate me. this is why no one likes you. they like me and told me they never said that so thanks for dying to make me feel bad. EVEN ADULTS.

i know it’s YOU WHO FEELS THAT WAY. WHAT A SHAME. truly sick how people act toward those who are different.

10
submitted 5 months ago by drbollocks to c/relationship_advice@lemmy.world

at around 16ftm, i had a group of online friends i interacted with. i also showed a lot of signs of bipolar and still do.

my one friend ryan (17m) told me to shut the fuck up, stop complaining, “just get help already” (i had therapy) and said people with mental illness were just burdens.

ryan also seemed hypocritical to me because he would say things like that but would also CONSTANTLY talk about how depressed he was and that life is just suffering, etc.

he then told me his behavior towards me was because he takes the “tough love” approach. he also proceeded to ghost me and made excuses for his behavior because of his depression, which he also said was tough love.

furthermore, i had a few online friends (19m, 23m, 30m?)

19m was just a friend of my friend (who also happens to be my ex, at the time 17m)

23m had common interests like games and tv shows with me

30m was someone i occasionally talked to, neurodivergent and didn’t have many friends nor knew how to make any. i was the only person he talked to and i would draw for him due to him not having time to do it himself.

ryan and his friends told me i was being sa’d, in fact, severely so, but i was too naive and liked them too much to realize and that it was their job as friends to protect me.

this gave me an extreme breakdown as they repeatedly shamed me for who i interacted with, didn’t really care about what i had to say sometimes, and accused random people of being sa’d when i have actually BEEN sa’d in the past.

i told them i don’t need them to take care of me as i could control who i talked to and if any of them tried anything like that, i’d block them.

14
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by drbollocks to c/relationship_advice@lemmy.world

be it romantic, friendly, or even sexual harassment, my abuser said i wasn’t even good enough to be sexually harassed.

that i’m autistic and therefore less than human, an animal, a child. i shouldn’t have relationships as a “child” and i’m not even attractive enough or deserving of being kissed, touched, or pat on the shoulder in a friendly gesture.

that i never had to worry abt sexual harassment because i was that gross and autistic.

7
submitted 5 months ago by drbollocks to c/rant@lemmy.sdf.org

you don’t deserve an ounce of my respect, love, or sympathy.

you hurt me for so long for years and triggered my ptsd. i hate you and people should stop sympathizing with you and feeling bad for you.

I HATE YOU. I NEVER WANNA FUCKING SEE YOU AGAIN. PEOPLE ALWAYS TALK ABOUT HOW HARSH I WAS TO YOU BUT YOU FUCKING SUCK. YOU VILE SCUM OF THE EARTH.

YOU DON’T DESERVE THE SMALLEST MEASUREMENT OF MY KINDNESS OR MERCY OR ANYTHING.

YOU SEE ME AS LESS THAN HUMAN AND WANT TO HURT ME. YOU MAKE MY DISABILITY MY WHOLE IDENTITY. YOU SAY I’M RETARDED. YOU CALL ME TOO DISGUSTING TO BE ATTRACTIVE OR HAVE PHYSICAL AFFECTION SHOWN TO ME.

YOU’RE FIXATED ON INTERACTING WITH MY FRIENDS AND TRY TO BRAINWASH EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR OBLIVIOUS BRAINS. YOU SAY NICE PEOPLE ARE EASY TARGETS BECAUSE THEY’RE STUPID. YOU SAY I’M TOO NICE. YOU PRAISE ME THEN DISCARD ME.

I’M TIRED OF TRYING TO SEE THE GOOD IN YOU. I. DON’T. CARE IF YOU HAD A BAD FUCKING DAY BECAUSE YOU’RE ABUSIVE AND YOU DON’T’ ABUSE PEOPLE ON BAD DAYS. WHAT IF YOU BEAT ME TO A PULP. “BAD DAY” HUH?

5
submitted 5 months ago by drbollocks to c/neurodivergent@discuss.online

i think of how an abusive bully might see a dog and how it’s comparable to how they see me. weak, submissive, “stupid”, loves the person no matter what and obedient till the end.

to them, at least, i’ll always be seen as stupid for my kindness. a (r-slur) less than human.

a child mentally much younger than 18 despite acting my age and functioning as someone my age.

i have ptsd and some of her behavior triggers it. not only is part of my trauma being repeatedly discriminated against but shes repeatedly done this for years after i formed a bond and later a trauma bond with her.

no more chances. i hate her. she doesn’t deserve an ounce of my forgiveness or love or empathy. she refuses to change. she abused me for years.

i hope she suffers from guilt or consequences for years.

19
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by drbollocks to c/relationship_advice@lemmy.world

if i have any sort of interest in anything, be it a tv show, motivation for a project, a collection, etc. even if i only mention it once, i’m suddenly obsessed.

i should just give up if my plan involves many steps.

i’ve been treated badly by a “friend” for years but i’m still tempted to stay due to having a trauma bond i’m trying to break off. i mentioned once what they said to me (which is what they said in a previous post) and one of my family members said i was obsessed with them and to “just not be upset”, “why was i so insecure”, “i wasn’t abused”, etc.

i can’t mention anything to this person without him making a comment and then he asks why i don’t talk to him

27
submitted 5 months ago by drbollocks to c/nostupidquestions@lemmy.world

i have two friends who i’ve known since my freshman year, i’ll call them e and k. of course, since i’ve known them for so long, i’ve trusted them with a certain thing: i’m autistic.

however, e and k (especially e), although usually nice people who include me and stuff, i feel like they just pity me and tend to make autism my entire identity.

i understand that both girls didn’t grow up with many friends due to being seen as “strange”, and are therefore quite cynical and lost hope about people.

in sophomore year when i confessed that i liked e: “sorry, i’m not into your kind of people.”

“how come people absolutely despise [me]? she’s so nice but people hate her for having tics and being autistic.”

“don’t be friends with them! they hate you, you know because they think you’re ret4rded.”

she’s gotten nicer now, and i know that e and k were trying to be nice about it and less blunt (that’s what they said and that they were quoting them, not saying so themselves), but i also don’t get (unless they overheard) how these people are comfortable talking to them about it.

what i’m more upset about, though, is the fact that so many people apparently think of me as just a “ret4rded kid” and nothing more despite being in multiple honors classes (all honors, in fact, since 8th grade).

16
submitted 5 months ago by drbollocks to c/relationship_advice@lemmy.world

my friends are mostly nice people, although obviously negative without many friends. they constantly have to bring up me having autism or being the r-slur when something comes up.

they tell me not to be friends with certain people, not to hang out with them and make more friends because “they hate me, they see me as subhuman because im autistic”.

my one friend, j (18m) has autism and needs more support than i do. he, however, tells me no one hates me except for certain bullies who have talked behind our backs, but have also talked behind like 98% of people they know’s.

the first friend i mentioned says people will continue to hate me for as long as i’m in special ed (“sp3d” and “ret4rded”) and that if i truly want to be liked, i should stop spending time with j because he’s “slow” and “severely autistic”.

she also says “I don’t wanna judge and hate autistic people but I do 🤭” but uses the “i have adhd, bipolar, anxiety, ptsd, etc!” excuse.

the odd thing is that i’m in advanced classes (all honors) but i’m being considered “slow”, which i said, but she replied with “well I don’t think you are! they do though!”

if people are actually nice to me, she says “well, they’re actually bullies but they have to be nice to autistic kids.”

she could be truthful and looking out for me, or be looking out for me with a despairing view (no hope for others)

and the thing i’m upset about the most is that people that aren’t j or them hate me because IM autistic. im in honors but still seen as slow. j is very smart but seen as slow. yes, i can see why people wouldn’t like the fact that he’s eccentric or socially awkward, but you should never assume he’s slow, especially when he’s highly intelligent.

[-] drbollocks 6 points 6 months ago

i blocked her :) thanks

[-] drbollocks 6 points 6 months ago

okay, so she doesn’t even mention me anymore. i’m done. I’m tired of being the second option

[-] drbollocks 6 points 7 months ago

whoops. i made my own language based off a language called toki pona. i made a community focusing on said made up language.

[-] drbollocks 7 points 7 months ago

the character it’s based off of is male, it’s based on someone mishearing a name

[-] drbollocks 7 points 7 months ago

i didn’t know all the details, he just said that she showed signs of schizophrenia and acted weird. i didn’t know her and didn’t know their relationship, but i know he did leave her because she had hallucinations, paranoia, thought objects were real (like dolls), and apparently age regressed a lot. he said she got too clingy and “weird” and even “crazy” for his liking. (which ik that word is stigmatizing in that context because in high school, we were told not to call ppl who showed signs of mental illness crazy)

[-] drbollocks 7 points 7 months ago

About a 9 :)

[-] drbollocks 6 points 7 months ago
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