"But diamonds are forever!" No they're not, in fact, they're actually flammable. *

*in an environment of pure oxygen

My high school used to serve pineapple, ham, and jalapeno pizza. It tasted pretty good.

Oh he might of gone on living

if he hadn't made the fatal slip

of denying the claim of the ranger with the big iron on his hiiiipppppp

(yes i know it wasn't a revolver, unfortunately)

"Breaking news: Invasion of Mexico halted by huge wall Trump built last term and then completely forgot about."

Yesterday, someone honked at me for a minute straight because I didn't want to turn right on red.

Gordon Freeman 2028?

I bought Sea of Thieves about 5 years ago. Recently, they added kernal-level anticheat (which does precisely fuck-all to actually stop cheating). While that is annoying, I'm not particularly worried because the studio that makes that game is owned by Microsoft, and like all Microsoft products, it was banished to my windows partition with the rest of the spyware.

An ancient internet relic from days gone by. Next time I have access to a color printer, I'm putting this on my shelf.

Actually if bees don't like the hive you put them in, they absolutely will leave. I haven't had happen to me personally but I have heard of it happening to others; you put the package in and come back to find that 200$+ worth of bees just upped and flew away.

We need to start using this game as a unit to measure mismanagement.

"In total, the project cost us approximately .51 Star Citizens."

My favorite is a patch note from Team Fortress 2: Fixed a server crash caused by sniper trying to eat his gun

I drove past a car that had its headlights flickering about 15 times every second last year. No clue if it was intentional but it was distracting as all hell. (and probably dangerous to epileptic people)