Happiness is not the goal - it's the failure state. Happiness means I've become an abusive monster, like you.
That's a wild take man. Like what are you talking about? Can you tell me exactly what I've done to be an "abusive monster"? Could you elaborate on how happiness is only the result of being abusive?
It is common to develop a drug or alcohol addiction as part of a coping mechanism. That can absolutely make your life more difficult. Coping mechanisms can make it more difficult to make changes that will better your life.
The path of least resistance isn't always the easiest path.