[-] Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

I've never seen a truer post.

[-] Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

You definitely have a point, and there are definitely women like the one you described in the world. Men 100% deserve to be treated with equality and respect. I'm sorry that you had that experience with your former partner. It's a garbage, disrespectful move from someone who is supposed to have your back.

But your point does ignore the fact that a majority of women have been raised by parents and by society to be subservient to men. The person who posted this originally wanted to know why women aren't taught how to treat men, but the fact is that we are. Constantly. Whether we want to be taught or not. Most of us have learned to do this so deeply that it's second nature. Most of us don't even remember learning it because that's just the way that it is.

This is for a wide variety of reasons, but most of it boils down to men having control over the world for thousands of years and women trying to find the best way to survive and occasionally excel in a world made for and by men. Remember that we used to be (and often still are) considered property. It's taken a really long time to get as far as we (women) have. My sex has only been able to vote in my country for 100 years. That's not a lot of time to make major changes in public perception and major societal shifts. We've grown a lot, but these shifts come with growing pains.

If we lived in a world where women have to be taught how to treat a male partner well, that means that society isn't doing the teaching anymore, and while yes, women should treat men with equivalent respect, it's still a huge improvement societally that women don't develop ingrained subservience. The woman that you previously dated sounds like part of those growing pains. Some people are always going to take things too far because the line had not previously been defined (even though the golden rule should be pretty common sense).

Conversely, men often have to be taught this because society doesn't do the teaching. Society is cool with men following the status quo.

Does this give a woman a solid reason to treat another human like trash, no matter their gender? No. This is the big reason why I think feminism is so important. People hear that term and think it means pro-women only, but what it really means is equality for all genders. Full equality should be the goal even if it ends up hurting women a little. For example, one of the few privileges women have that men don't have is in the courtroom. Women tend to have better outcomes because of biases about our weakness and innocence. Feminism would be working to dismantle something like that even if it gives women an advantage.

Equality is important, but understanding women's historical growth and struggles is important, too. Women have been taught ad nauseum how to treat men well, but some women are going to make different choices. At the end of the day, I agree with you. I just want people to remember how hard the struggle was for women to get here, understand how far we still have to go to gain real equality, and respect the societal pressures that we deal with every day.

[-] Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

I definitely agree that there aren't enough resources given to teachers, but the expectation of using common decency to reach the goal of educating our students is not too high of an expectation. Focus on the end goal. How you get there can vary (assuming it's appropriate), but you are still trying to reach the goal of educating the students. If your teaching style is prohibiting people from reaching that goal, why wouldn't you change it?

It's nice to think that as an English teacher, I only have to worry about how well they can interpret the modern applications of the lessons in Macbeth, or whatever literature we're studying, but in reality, teachers are teaching a whole heck of a lot more than their specific subject area. We're simultaneously modeling how to behave appropriately, teaching how to navigate complex social situations, and mentoring students on how to achieve their goals and deal with set backs. Teachers have always worn more than one hat. It's not only an expectation for the job; it's an absolute requirement for success.

Should they earn more money for having to do all of that? YES! That's why we've been complaining about the low pay and lack of resources for at least 40 years. The effort and skills are non-negotiable. Kids shouldn't get a crappy education just because some politicians are using their teachers' wages as political leverage. People go into education knowing that the pay sucks, but they actually care about other people and future generations. They don't go into just for the paycheck, and I don't know a single educator who wouldn't put in some extra effort to help a student succeed.

You're basing a lot of your opinion on the assumption that kids come to school ready to learn and healthy. The reality is that parents and home lives come in a wide variety of flavors. Some parents do exactly what you said: dump on teachers with their own expectations on how students should be handled. But others don't get involved at all. Some don't care about their child's life beyond how it affects them. Some are so busy working to make ends meet that they don't have time to be much more than an absent parent. No matter what life the student has, it's still my job to give them a quality education, so of that means giving them a granola bar or calling Joe Suzie, then that's what it takes.

We're basically fighting for the same thing here: better pay, better resources, and support for teachers so that students can get a better education. The difference is that I don't think students should get the short end of the stick for something they can't change (i.e. low pay), whereas you'd rather a teacher not do extra because they aren't getting paid to do extra. But my method reaches the end goal of educating students well, and yours instead basically says, "Reach the goal or don't. I don't really care since I did my part."

[-] Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

A good chunk of a teacher's job is to build appropriate relationships with your students. Students don't want to learn from someone they dislike, and you have significantly better learning outcomes when the students feel safe, accepted, and cared about. Appropriate nicknames, like Tim for Timothy, help in that relationship building. I don't know what your position is at that school, but Wisconsin teachers are literally taught stuff like this in college so that we know how to manage a classroom with the best learning outcomes and the fewest number of behavioral disruptions. We are taught how to keep those relationships appropriate and healthy, although much of that is just common sense.

Yes, you should separate work and home life for both your own sanity and for modeling good boundaries and work-life balance. But that doesn't mean you have to drop your decency at the door. At the end of the day, the goal is learning, and not being a douche is one of the easiest ways to get to that goal.

Extracurricular activities are an extension of these same principles, not an exception or something with a different set of standards. I think you might be mixing up appropriate relationship building with inappropriate fraternizing, and I'm concerned that you are having difficulty finding that line.

[-] Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world 47 points 3 months ago

Whelp, Walker neutered our teachers' unions, and the conservatives pushed for being a right to work state, so here are some unexpected consequences of that. They do not have to tell him why his contract wasn't renewed, and now he doesn't have a union backing his position. Plus, he wasn't even "fired," just not renewed.

F this teacher for creating an environment of hate.

[-] Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

I'm not sure what's happening here, but I'm into it.

[-] Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

For sure. They feed it to us here in the US pretty much every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

[-] Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

That was a perfect correction. I didn't want to say anything because the joke was funny, and my thought process was pedantic, but you corrected it and kept it funny. Well done.

[-] Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world 190 points 1 year ago

I think it's that you don't feel older mentally. I though I would feel a certain maturity once I reached an age where I had a solid, advancing career and owned a house. Turns out, I feel pretty much the same and am just better at dealing with things that arise and pretending that I'm mature. My body hurts more and my face looks older, but I don't feel all that different. I'm sure I've mentally changed to some extent, and I notice it more when I talk to younger people, but I still feel the same.

[-] Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world 77 points 1 year ago

Just for clarification purposes, its 50k per day, doubling every day of noncompliance. So day 1 is 50k, day 2 is an additional 100k, and day 3 is an additional 200k. 3 days = 350k. I agree that it's not enough, but if they dug their heels in, it would grow really high, really fast, so it was a pretty effective fine.

[-] Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world 89 points 1 year ago

I agree with you. Actually, Lemmy woke me up to how much reddit had already been enshitified. I didn't realize that I had stopped commenting altogether because the subs were so big that either no one saw your stuff, or there was always some one pissed off who felt the need to respond. Lemmy reminds me of reddit the way it was when I joined 12 years ago.

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Ilovemyirishtemper

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