So, I'm gonna preface this by saying that I know my own sexuality is for me to define, and me alone. I'm just looking to hear some outside opinions to hear more than just my own internal voice.
For quite some time, I considered myself a lesbian. I only really felt like I could be attracted to women or perhaps some enby folks; men for me felt completely out of the question. I'm demisexual (perhaps demiromantic as well, but I haven't really been in situations where I could test that out), and so I need someone that I can connect with emotionally. For me, that's always been women, as we just get each other on a level that I have never found with men, and with an emotional maturity that's lacking in the men I've met in my life.
Then I met a trans man that I really hit it off with, and after getting to know each other really well, I fell into a situationship. At that point, I considered that I must be bi, because I was having feelings and open to doing things with a man. But now that I've been out of that situationship for quite some time, I can't help but think that despite our initial emotional connection, him and I didn't really connect the way I wanted. It was more trauma bonding than anything, really. Of course, that was clouded by the fact that he was my favorite person at the time, when I didn't realize I had BPD, so any connection felt amazing in the moment. I'm not sure if anything would have ever happened if it weren't for my BPD.
I've been beginning to think that I'm not sure about the bi label anymore, because for the most part, my lack of attraction to men hasn't really changed, at least not on the emotional/romantic part. It feels like he was an exception, which feels very strange to me. I mean, I have no fear in who I'm attracted to, so I don't feel like that's a denial response, I think more than anything I'm still just figuring out who I am? Or maybe my BPD led me into a situation that defies my sexual or romantic orientation? I think the way I'm most comfortable identifying myself is that I'm romantically a lesbian, but sexually bi, though my being demisexual kind of means I don't see myself ending up in a situation in the future where the distinction matters.
Does that make sense? I just wanna hear someone else's thoughts on the matter because I've had a tough time fully resolving my thoughts by myself the past 5 months.
If anything, this is kind of just a vent post.
My professional training for subcutaneous injection when I started them over 4 years ago was done through a phone call. It's not rocket science, it's genuinely hard to fuck them up. You aren't finding a vein, as it isn't an intravenous injection, you aren't even at risk of hitting a vein (like with intramuscular). You're just injecting into the fat layer. The injection leaves a depot of medication in the fat that is absorbed by fat cells very slowly, usually over the course of multiple weeks in oil-based suspensions.
I have never once messed up a subcutaneous injection, and I've done them while blackout drunk before. It is significantly riskier to use an EpiPen on someone, and those are commonplace (and I'm not talking about the effects of epinephrine, I'm talking purely about the safety of injection). I cannot get it across just how incredibly hard it is to fuck up a subcutaneous injection. OP is not at any risk here; you're manufacturing fear in a place that should be celebrating OP. Please stop; it does nothing to help anyone.