overview for Filetternavn

Gosh so i am turning Bald apparently -.- by Filetternavn in c/mtf

[-] Filetternavn 2 points 1 day ago

Of course! That comment was just kind of a stream of consciousness that I had after reading your post. I've lately gotten into hair care, so it was easy to recall my own journey, though I must admit that I've used single purpose shampoo and conditioner for over a decade by now bc the X-in-1 products are always shit. I just tried to be as detailed as I could in all the steps, not assuming that you were taught any of it (because I sure wasn't taught it). I haven't gotten into the nuances of hair masks, detox shampoo, hair oils, or product, which all in itself is it's own thing (and very much depends on your specific hair needs), so that's all just the basics lol.

Do also note that shampoo should always be followed by conditioner, and you should thoroughly rinse out your shampoo, then squeeze excess water out of your hair prior to applying conditioner, then leave it in your hair for at least 1-3 minutes. I actually put conditioner on, clip my hair up to keep it off my body, then shave whatever part of my body I have to that day (I have to split it up into sections), and then rinse the conditioner out when I'm done shaving. You should also be washing hair before your body, as conditioner will have oils in it that you'll want to wash off your skin. I highly recommend a claw clip to clip your wet hair up when you need to keep it off your body (like while shaving or while washing your body)!

More details abt my hair and skincare routine here if you're curious, though do note that it is exceedingly complicated and tailored to my exact needs, so please understand that even if you did copy my skincare routine, it would likely not align with what your specific skin issues are. Just take it as a little bonus that you can use to understand my routine!

Gosh so i am turning Bald apparently -.- by Filetternavn in c/mtf

[-] Filetternavn 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Just want to add to another commenter about DHT. The consensus is that HRT that adequately supresses DHT production (ideally monotherapy or through use of Cyproterone Acetate (such as Androcur)—note that I've read Spironolactone is not especially effective against DHT) can reverse up to 7 years of pattern baldness, but that can take up to 7 years to see the full effect. I started HRT at age 23, so my pattern baldness hadn't really been bad, and I've only been on HRT for 15.5 months, so my results are nowhere near full effect. I currently have medium density, very fine hair, and the only noticeable baldness I've experienced is a recession on my temples, which I'm hoping will be fixed with HRT, but I will likely have hair transplantation sometime after FFS (which is a few years out itself).

Do note that minoxidil and finasteride are options available by prescription for treatment of pattern baldness, and I've read of many trans women having success with these medications.

As for your current routine, I have recommendations, effective immediately. Get real shampoo and conditioner. This is going to be a women's brand, and I'd recommend asking others for suggestions. No more of the 3-in-1 shit. Your hair needs to be properly conditioned after shampoo is washed out. I highly recommend getting a shampoo and conditioner meant for your hair thickness (fine, medium, coarse), and note I am not talking about density, but the thickness of individual hairs themselves. I personally use OUAI Fine Hair Shampoo and OUAI Fine Hair Conditioner, both of which are volumizing for my fine hair, and not overly harsh. I also recommend you do not wash your hair every day, as this strips necessary oils from your hair. I wash my fine hair every 3 days, and depending on your hair type, the ideal can be from every other day to once a week or less. This will take trial and error, and likely the introduction of a dry shampoo as a refresh to combat oiliness at the roots (I recommend Batiste). You can find resources on how to figure this out online by searching something along the lines of "how often should I wash my hair?" When not washing your hair, I do not recommend you get it wet (wet hair is much more prone to damage, so you should minimize the time your hair is wet), so I put my hair in a bun, then use a shower cap to keep my hair dry.

Do also note that shampoo should be applied at the roots, massaged into the scalp, and only lightly dragged to ends (if you aren't very active or you put your hair in a bun when you work out, skip dragging to ends and only apply at roots). You should only focus on shampooing your mids and ends about once every or every other week, which I usually do with a special detox shampoo to help remove excess product from my hair (mousse, dry shampoo, hairspray, etc.). Conditioner should be applied from mids to ends, and not at the roots, as this will make them oily. Leave-in conditioner should be applied from roots to ends for full coverage heat protection (spread with fingers, then comb through with a detangling brush meant for wet hair). Use a heat protectant before every time you use heat on your hair, as it is only effective temporarily. Do not assume using a heat protectant yesterday means your hair is protected today.

Additionally, do not blow dry your hair without using a heat protectant; that will damage your hair. I use the OUAI Leave-In Conditioner while my hair is towel dry but still damp (after getting out of the shower) and apply from roots to ends. I recommend a leave-in conditioner, though you have to make sure the leave-in conditioner acts as a heat protectant, because not all of them do! Also, do not rub your hair with a towel to dry it!!! Gently remove excess water by squeezing it (do not wring or pull your hair while wet), then use a hair towel to put your hair up. Rubbing your hair will pull out more hair and cause additional damage from friction.

Crop tops should come with instructions 😭 by Filetternavn in c/mtf

[-] Filetternavn 5 points 2 days ago

I have camis with built-in shelf bras, and they are so hard to put on and take off. Granted, the difficulty in putting them on is mostly bc I put them on after applying lotion, so they will roll up, and I have to unroll them starting from my back, which is a nightmare with long nails (I've lost nails to this). They aren't that hard to take off, but they kinda suck to take off when my hair is in a bun bc I don't wanna mess up my bun (and I sleep in a bun to help preserve my hair overnight). I can put on and take off thin, skinny shirts just fine, but I do have some active wear that's both tight and thick (sports bras, tank tops, etc.) that are also a pain to put on and/or take off lol.

Shave your bones by Filetternavn in c/transmemes

[-] Filetternavn 10 points 2 days ago

I'm getting cremated, so the only identifier will be my name. I also want to get cremated alongside my life partner (assuming I find her) and have our ashes mixed together in the same urn so that we can be together and inseparable for eternity. So archeologists would discover an urn with our names on it, and will have no information beyond that :3

How many images do you have saved on your phone? by Filetternavn in c/womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone

[-] Filetternavn 1 points 3 days ago

Only 567, surprisingly

Always by Filetternavn in c/womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone

[-] Filetternavn 26 points 3 days ago

Only when they want to claim credit for our work, of course. You did 90% of the work? Great, but it isn't your name getting plastered all over it; it's your "manager" or "team leader" (or someone higher up) regardless of how little they contributed. Somewhere down the line, a man gets to take credit for our accomplishments.

Thank you for the nail polish tips!! by Filetternavn in c/mtf

[-] Filetternavn 3 points 4 days ago

They look great!!!

The New York Childrens Online Safety Act will ban anyone under 18 from chatting online. by Filetternavn in c/technology@lemmy.world

[-] Filetternavn 43 points 4 days ago

Agreed, "would...if passed" is definitely better here.

15

Will I need to fill my estradiol prescription to get a letter of support for insurance? (self.diyhrt)

submitted 1 week ago by Filetternavn to c/diyhrt

3 comments fedilink

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/41790661

So, without context, this question sounds really strange. I've been on DIY HRT since the 15th of January, 2025 (started on estradiol valerate pills with cyproterone acetate). I switched to estradiol cypionate injections on the 6th of May, 2025, and have been using it since then. I've dialed in a stable EC dose for monotherapy that has given me adequate testosterone suppression (this month's labs show 15ng/dL). I've been getting regular bloodwork, and have an exact timeline of my dosage adjustments since I started HRT. I'm also in the US, since that's likely relevant.

I now want to start progesterone, and I want to just get a prescription for 2 reasons: price, and a letter of support for surgery showing I've been on HRT 2+ years by the time I get surgery (for insurance coverage). But if I'm to get a progesterone prescription, I'd also be getting an estradiol prescription. The problem is that I'm stable on EC, but even if my insurance were to cover it (under the brand name Depo-Estradiol, it's a Tier 3 drug since it doesn't have a generic), it would be $100 for a 90 day supply (3 vials). Uninsured, it's $250/vial, and I find it likely it won't be covered, as EV is a Tier 1 covered drug (they'd want me to take that instead because it costs the insurance less for a generic).

I have concerns with starting EV, because my dose would have to be dialed in again, and my estradiol levels would be far, far more erratic. EC has a much longer half-life than EV, so it keeps hormone levels much more stable. With EV at an "equivalent dose" (keeping the average over the week the same as the EC I'm currently on), I'd have much higher peaks, and much lower troughs, and I'm concerned that it will worsen my mood swings (I'm bipolar, but have been doing better with medication). There's also the downside that Depo-Estradiol is only available in 5mg/mL concentration, so I'd be injecting 8x more volume than my 40mg/mL DIY vial.

So, if I were to get a prescription, here are my options (in no particular order):

Switch to EV and be forced to dial in the correct dosage to adequately suppress testosterone while minimizing supraphysiological serum levels of estradiol

Get an EC prescription and risk no coverage (and pay as much for 3 months as I do for 2 years DIY if it is covered)

Get an EV prescription and fill the drug, but keep taking my EC

Get an EV prescription and don't fill it while continuing EC

Get an EC prescription and don't fill it while continuing DIY (because I don't have that kind of money)

I believe the insurance will not be checking my prescription history, since I could choose not to use insurance at all for it; they just ask for a letter from my prescribing provider. I'm also aware that in the US, providers can check if you've filled a prescription (and sometimes even be notified when you fill/decline to fill a prescription). I'm apprehensive to discuss this with the provider I'll be seeing, as they may become suspicious that I'm not following my treatment regimine, and thus may deny me a letter when the time comes.

So I'm kind of at a loss for what to do here. The option I feel most comfortable with is filling EV, but continuing EC, as EV is really cheap (<$10/month). That also leaves a trail of prescription history. But my labs might show unexpected serum estradiol levels, so my dosage may be adjusted, and then I may get questions about why my serum estradiol levels didn't change when the prescribed dosage changed. I also feel like throwing out good vials of EV is a waste. So my next preferred option would be to get prescribed EC, and not fill it because it's so expensive. That way, my bloodwork lines up, but again, prescription history wouldn't match up.

I just feel a little overwhelmed.

18

Will I need to fill my estradiol prescription to get a letter of support for insurance? (self.mtf)

submitted 1 week ago by Filetternavn to c/mtf

5 comments fedilink

So, without context, this question sounds really strange. I've been on DIY HRT since the 15th of January, 2025 (started on estradiol valerate pills with cyproterone acetate). I switched to estradiol cypionate injections on the 6th of May, 2025, and have been using it since then. I've dialed in a stable EC dose for monotherapy that has given me adequate testosterone suppression (this month's labs show 15ng/dL). I've been getting regular bloodwork, and have an exact timeline of my dosage adjustments since I started HRT. I'm also in the US, since that's likely relevant.

I now want to start progesterone, and I want to just get a prescription for 2 reasons: price, and a letter of support for surgery showing I've been on HRT 2+ years by the time I get surgery (for insurance coverage). But if I'm to get a progesterone prescription, I'd also be getting an estradiol prescription. The problem is that I'm stable on EC, but even if my insurance were to cover it (under the brand name Depo-Estradiol, it's a Tier 3 drug since it doesn't have a generic), it would be $100 for a 90 day supply (3 vials). Uninsured, it's $250/vial, and I find it likely it won't be covered, as EV is a Tier 1 covered drug (they'd want me to take that instead because it costs the insurance less for a generic).

I have concerns with starting EV, because my dose would have to be dialed in again, and my estradiol levels would be far, far more erratic. EC has a much longer half-life than EV, so it keeps hormone levels much more stable. With EV at an "equivalent dose" (keeping the average over the week the same as the EC I'm currently on), I'd have much higher peaks, and much lower troughs, and I'm concerned that it will worsen my mood swings (I'm bipolar, but have been doing better with medication). There's also the downside that Depo-Estradiol is only available in 5mg/mL concentration, so I'd be injecting 8x more volume than my 40mg/mL DIY vial.

So, if I were to get a prescription, here are my options (in no particular order):

Switch to EV and be forced to dial in the correct dosage to adequately suppress testosterone while minimizing supraphysiological serum levels of estradiol
Get an EC prescription and risk no coverage (and pay as much for 3 months as I do for 2 years DIY if it is covered)
Get an EV prescription and fill the drug, but keep taking my EC
Get an EV prescription and don't fill it while continuing EC
Get an EC prescription and don't fill it while continuing DIY (because I don't have that kind of money)

I believe the insurance will not be checking my prescription history, since I could choose not to use insurance at all for it; they just ask for a letter from my prescribing provider. I'm also aware that in the US, providers can check if you've filled a prescription (and sometimes even be notified when you fill/decline to fill a prescription). I'm apprehensive to discuss this with the provider I'll be seeing, as they may become suspicious that I'm not following my treatment regimine, and thus may deny me a letter when the time comes.

So I'm kind of at a loss for what to do here. The option I feel most comfortable with is filling EV, but continuing EC, as EV is really cheap (<$10/month). That also leaves a trail of prescription history. But my labs might show unexpected serum estradiol levels, so my dosage may be adjusted, and then I may get questions about why my serum estradiol levels didn't change when the prescribed dosage changed. I also feel like throwing out good vials of EV is a waste. So my next preferred option would be to get prescribed EC, and not fill it because it's so expensive. That way, my bloodwork lines up, but again, prescription history wouldn't match up.

I just feel a little overwhelmed.

36

Going to a gay bar for the first time (self.lesbians)

submitted 2 months ago by Filetternavn to c/lesbians

12 comments fedilink

I understand if this post is a bit off topic, but I am going to a gay bar with the intention to meet mostly other queer women, and I'm specifically looking for advice from other lesbians, so I thought it would be relevant.

Okay, so I'm planning on going out to a gay bar soon just to like...meet some other queer folks? I have a long drive to the closest one (about half an hour to get to the city if there's no traffic), but I haven't gone out anywhere just to meet new people in...many, many years, so I'm looking for some advice (Side tangent: I'm sober and would only be drinking mocktails, so no, I'm not gonna be any danger driving).

My main concern is just how I even start to talk to people/approach anyone. I feel like sitting at the bar, I could really only interact with a couple people at a time (most of whom are probably out with friends anyway). Would anyone approach me if I sat alone at a table/booth? How do I look approachable? I feel uncomfortable approaching, say, a group of other people, because I don't want to intrude. Honestly the only experiences I have with bars is reading books where the characters go to a bar, so I don't know what to actually expect in reality.

I suppose I'm just very unsure what to expect/how to engage with the space. And I should probably clarify: I'm really just looking to meet new people/potentially make friends, not go home with someone. I'm demisexual, so I really don't see that happening, although I certainly wouldn't mind if other women flirted with me.

Is there any advice any of y'all have about how I should go about meeting new people there?

unexpected object in weighing area rule by Filetternavn in c/onehundredninetysix

[-] Filetternavn 55 points 4 months ago

For context, ancient Egyptians believed that when someone dies, Anubis weighs their heart against a feather of Ma'at, and if the heart is heavier (i.e. filled with evil), then the soul is devoured by Ammit, but if the scale is balanced, the soul is allowed to enter the afterlife.

egg rule by Filetternavn in c/onehundredninetysix

[-] Filetternavn 78 points 4 months ago

12

Looking for guidance on how to define my sexuality and romantic orientation (self.lesbians)

submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by Filetternavn to c/lesbians

4 comments fedilink

So, I'm gonna preface this by saying that I know my own sexuality is for me to define, and me alone. I'm just looking to hear some outside opinions to hear more than just my own internal voice.

For quite some time, I considered myself a lesbian. I only really felt like I could be attracted to women or perhaps some enby folks; men for me felt completely out of the question. I'm demisexual (perhaps demiromantic as well, but I haven't really been in situations where I could test that out), and so I need someone that I can connect with emotionally. For me, that's always been women, as we just get each other on a level that I have never found with men, and with an emotional maturity that's lacking in the men I've met in my life.

Then I met a trans man that I really hit it off with, and after getting to know each other really well, I fell into a situationship. At that point, I considered that I must be bi, because I was having feelings and open to doing things with a man. But now that I've been out of that situationship for quite some time, I can't help but think that despite our initial emotional connection, him and I didn't really connect the way I wanted. It was more trauma bonding than anything, really. Of course, that was clouded by the fact that he was my favorite person at the time, when I didn't realize I had BPD, so any connection felt amazing in the moment. I'm not sure if anything would have ever happened if it weren't for my BPD.

I've been beginning to think that I'm not sure about the bi label anymore, because for the most part, my lack of attraction to men hasn't really changed, at least not on the emotional/romantic part. It feels like he was an exception, which feels very strange to me. I mean, I have no fear in who I'm attracted to, so I don't feel like that's a denial response, I think more than anything I'm still just figuring out who I am? Or maybe my BPD led me into a situation that defies my sexual or romantic orientation? I think the way I'm most comfortable identifying myself is that I'm romantically a lesbian, but sexually bi, though my being demisexual kind of means I don't see myself ending up in a situation in the future where the distinction matters.

Does that make sense? I just wanna hear someone else's thoughts on the matter because I've had a tough time fully resolving my thoughts by myself the past 5 months.

If anything, this is kind of just a vent post.

Mozilla warns Germany could soon declare ad blockers illegal by Filetternavn in c/technology@lemmy.world

[-] Filetternavn 241 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

This is truly dystopian. A ruling in Springer's favor here could imply that modifying anything on a webpage, even without distribution, would constitute a copyright violation (EDIT: only for material in which the copyright holder does not grant permission for the modification; so not libre licensed projects). Screen readers for blind people could be illegal, accessibility extensions for high contrast for those visually impaired could become illegal, even just extensions that change all websites to dark mode like Dark Reader could become illegal. What constitutes modification? Would zooming in on a website become illegal? Would translating a website to a different language become illegal? Where does this end?

This needs to be shot down.

45

[CW: Mental health] Update on my previous post about admitting myself to a psychiatric hospital (self.mtf)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by Filetternavn to c/mtf

1 comments fedilink

For context, see my initial post here.

I've made a plan with my therapist, and I'll be admitting myself. I've also been advised that given some recent behaviors and events, it's in my best interest to be evaluated for bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder (yay ;-;). Whatever happens, I'm mentally prepared to step through the doors and allow myself to seek treatment. Maybe all I need is a change in medication, or a place where I feel safe enough to process my emotions and work through them. Regardless, I understand what to expect, and I'm confident that it's what I need right now. I can't get by just letting things happen as they are currently, because I'm only continuing to get worse without proper treatment. I'll likely make a new post when I'm discharged about my experience. See y'all on the other side.

44

[CW: Mental health issues, dysphoria, transphobia] I'm planning on admitting myself to a psychiatric hospital, but I have some anxieties (self.mtf)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by Filetternavn to c/mtf

6 comments fedilink

If any trans women here have been admitted to a psychiatric ward, I'm looking for advice/experiences. My main concerns are the following:

Losing access to DIY HRT
Inability to shave, or is I can shave, having to be watched while doing it
Being strip searched
Transphobia from other patients and staff
Food

Context - I live in a blue part of Washington State, fairly progressive, and I'm working with my therapist to get a personal recommendation for a facility (she mostly treats LGBTQ+ patients, so I'll be asking specifically about that).

I currently take Estradiol Cypionate by injection, once per week as monotherapy. I've used a tool to estimate my E levels, and I've determined I could likely go 14 days before things get bad (below 100pg/mL), but obviously that would not be an ideal experience for me hormonally. I just tested my levels last week and my E came back significantly higher than I expected (could maybe go longer than 14 days), and my T levels were incredibly low (16ng/dL). So much so that I was planning to reduce my dosage this week, though I think I'll wait to reduce until after my stay in case it lasts longer than I expect. I am almost 100% not going to be able to get them to administer my DIY hormones to me, but if anyone else has had this experience, please comment. I think I've rationalized it enough that I wouldn't be devastated if I were denied access (or more accurately, when I am), assuming my stay isn't longer than 2 weeks. I'm worried that they'll see them and throw them away instead of just locking then up, which would be a big problem because shipping would take about 2 weeks and I don't even have the money for it right now.

However, I am quite concerned about shaving. Since I'll be a voluntary admission, I've heard there's sometimes leniency for supervised face shaving, but I'm also worried about being able to shave my body. Granted, I'll be wearing clothes that cover up all my skin, but the feeling of being unshaven is incredibly dysphoric for me. I could live with it, except for genital hair. I unfortunately have extremely sensitive skin, and I'm pre-op, so if I don't shave for a few days, I will get intense chaffing and irritation, which is the most dysphoric thing I have ever felt in my life. I would be in genuinely severe mental distress having to live like that. But even if I were granted some exception to let me shave there...I'd have to be supervised. And I'm having a really hard time trying to mentally prepare myself for someone watching me shave naked. Especially because I don't know if I'll be allowed to ask that it be a woman that supervises. I've been told it varies wildly from place to place for strip searches, and I assume it would be the same case here.

And then...there's being strip searched. Again, no idea if I can decide if a man or a woman watches me strip and reveal every square inch of myself, which is horrifying. I would feel mildly less mortified if my genitals matched my gender identity, but...I'm not there yet.

The fear of experiencing persistent transphobia while I'm there is also incredibly present for me, especially given that I'm nowhere close to passing. This will be my first time publicly presenting femininely but I think it's what's best for my mental health because it's exhausting having to hide myself in person when I have been open online for almost a year now, and on HRT for 5 months as of today. The only thing holding me back has been living with transphobic parents with a long history of abuse. There are two angles to the transphobia fear. The first is that there may be other patients admitted who are transphobic, and in severely deteriorated mental states, and the second is that staff could be transphobic, and they hold an immense power over me as a patient. Both are terrifying to me, and I don't know how I would deal with it.

And perhaps something more inconsequential is food. I have a milk allergy, so I'd need that to be accommodated, and I'm also autistic so I have a lot of food triggers. I'm worried about not being able to eat enough, to be honest.

None of these things are going to prevent me from admitting myself, I know I need help right now, and I need serious intervention to be able to recover and to keep myself safe...from myself. I'm not going to get into the details because that isn't what this post is about, I've just been having some anxieties about what it's going to be like, and the chances of me leaving the hospital severely traumatized.

If any of you have been through it, what has it been like for you? Any advice?

We might want to consider Defederaton of Lemmy.ml by Filetternavn in c/main

[-] Filetternavn 75 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Personally, I have a very poor opinion of nutomic. And yes, he has always been/felt transphobic. He has a history of making massive oversteps to attack people that have differing opinions to his, and overall I believe him to be a threat to the trans community. As for whether we should defederate? I really have no clue. It certainly isn't a bastion for blatant transphobia, and hosts many of the top Lemmy communities, and a very large amount of the active Lemmy userbase. I think the effects of defederation would be immense, and take a lot of time and consideration to understand if it's overall beneficial to the community. That being said, I'm sure I could be swayed to support either side. I'd be very curious what Ada has to say about this, as I believe I'll support her opinion on the matter.

EDIT: I think it's valuable to point out that any individual user can block an instance in their settings. So regardless of any defederation decision (which Ada seems opposed to), anyone can choose to block the instance themselves.