[-] Filetternavn 10 points 1 day ago

I can't speak for everyone, but for me, once the novelty wore off, my ADHD procrastinate forever response kicked in like it does for anything monotonous. It's not that I avoid doing it or don't wanna do it, it's moreso just my executive function being fucked to the point where I keep saying "eh, I'll do it in a bit". Granted, I've been on HRT for almost 10 months now, so it's really not smth I think abt all that much anymore. It's just kinda a part of normal life at this point

[-] Filetternavn 19 points 6 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Bazzite is just Fedora Atomic with extra things slapped on top (Nvidia drivers if u have an Nvidia card, kernel tweaks for gaming, Steam and Lutris preinstalled, etc.). It functions just as well as a normal desktop as any other distro. It's also my default recommendation for anyone that plans on doing any gaming, where my recommendation for complete non-gamers is Fedora Atomic, which is what it's based off. Since it is Atomic (the root file structure is kept consistent across all installs, and updates aren't applied while the system is running), it's very resilient and reliable. If anything ever does break (which won't happen under normal conditions), then you can revert to the previous version from the boot menu and restore it, then either try to update again, or wait a bit before you upgrade if you suspect the issue was a bad update or something. All you need to know is that is called a rollback, and you should be able to find all the information you need about how to do it via a quick search. I can tell you to memorize sudo rpm-ostree rollback, but chances are you would rather look it up in case you remembered wrong anyway.

For people coming from Windows, I recommend the KDE Plasma version, as the UI is more Windows-like than GNOME, so it's a smoother transition. It isn't like GNOME is difficult to learn or anything (it's likely what you used with Ubuntu), it's actually simpler, it's just very opinionated and differs in design philosophy from both Windows and KDE Plasma. You can always feel free to look into the differences on your own by watching videos, as they show off the desktop environments more than text ever could.

EDIT: For game compatibility, I'd recommend checking https://protondb.com/ (for games without anti-cheat) and https://areweanticheatyet.com/ (for games with anti-cheat). Note that it's very often that anti-cheat works in WINE/Proton, but the developers go out of their way to detect that it's running in Linux and explicitly block it. This is not the fault of Linux, or some compatibility issues, it's an explicit blacklist.

10
submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by Filetternavn to c/lesbians

So, I'm gonna preface this by saying that I know my own sexuality is for me to define, and me alone. I'm just looking to hear some outside opinions to hear more than just my own internal voice.

For quite some time, I considered myself a lesbian. I only really felt like I could be attracted to women or perhaps some enby folks; men for me felt completely out of the question. I'm demisexual (perhaps demiromantic as well, but I haven't really been in situations where I could test that out), and so I need someone that I can connect with emotionally. For me, that's always been women, as we just get each other on a level that I have never found with men, and with an emotional maturity that's lacking in the men I've met in my life.

Then I met a trans man that I really hit it off with, and after getting to know each other really well, I fell into a situationship. At that point, I considered that I must be bi, because I was having feelings and open to doing things with a man. But now that I've been out of that situationship for quite some time, I can't help but think that despite our initial emotional connection, him and I didn't really connect the way I wanted. It was more trauma bonding than anything, really. Of course, that was clouded by the fact that he was my favorite person at the time, when I didn't realize I had BPD, so any connection felt amazing in the moment. I'm not sure if anything would have ever happened if it weren't for my BPD.

I've been beginning to think that I'm not sure about the bi label anymore, because for the most part, my lack of attraction to men hasn't really changed, at least not on the emotional/romantic part. It feels like he was an exception, which feels very strange to me. I mean, I have no fear in who I'm attracted to, so I don't feel like that's a denial response, I think more than anything I'm still just figuring out who I am? Or maybe my BPD led me into a situation that defies my sexual or romantic orientation? I think the way I'm most comfortable identifying myself is that I'm romantically a lesbian, but sexually bi, though my being demisexual kind of means I don't see myself ending up in a situation in the future where the distinction matters.

Does that make sense? I just wanna hear someone else's thoughts on the matter because I've had a tough time fully resolving my thoughts by myself the past 5 months.

If anything, this is kind of just a vent post.

[-] Filetternavn 39 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I don't see a reason to have a preference for a specific geographic region to not be influenced by fascism. Fascism should not be instituted anywhere, in any scenario. Unfortunately, it's on the rise globally, and I'd personally prefer it not be present anywhere at all, not just in an area in which it has had previous influence.

[-] Filetternavn 241 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

This is truly dystopian. A ruling in Springer's favor here could imply that modifying anything on a webpage, even without distribution, would constitute a copyright violation (EDIT: only for material in which the copyright holder does not grant permission for the modification; so not libre licensed projects). Screen readers for blind people could be illegal, accessibility extensions for high contrast for those visually impaired could become illegal, even just extensions that change all websites to dark mode like Dark Reader could become illegal. What constitutes modification? Would zooming in on a website become illegal? Would translating a website to a different language become illegal? Where does this end?

This needs to be shot down.

[-] Filetternavn 19 points 2 months ago

Fun fact: if it takes 1 second to say "Still cis tho", saying it 1.34×10^28^ times would take 4.25×10^20^ years, which is about 3.08×10^13^ times longer than the current age of the universe

44
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by Filetternavn to c/mtf

For context, see my initial post here.

I've made a plan with my therapist, and I'll be admitting myself. I've also been advised that given some recent behaviors and events, it's in my best interest to be evaluated for bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder (yay ;-;). Whatever happens, I'm mentally prepared to step through the doors and allow myself to seek treatment. Maybe all I need is a change in medication, or a place where I feel safe enough to process my emotions and work through them. Regardless, I understand what to expect, and I'm confident that it's what I need right now. I can't get by just letting things happen as they are currently, because I'm only continuing to get worse without proper treatment. I'll likely make a new post when I'm discharged about my experience. See y'all on the other side.

42
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by Filetternavn to c/mtf

If any trans women here have been admitted to a psychiatric ward, I'm looking for advice/experiences. My main concerns are the following:

  • Losing access to DIY HRT
  • Inability to shave, or is I can shave, having to be watched while doing it
  • Being strip searched
  • Transphobia from other patients and staff
  • Food

Context - I live in a blue part of Washington State, fairly progressive, and I'm working with my therapist to get a personal recommendation for a facility (she mostly treats LGBTQ+ patients, so I'll be asking specifically about that).

I currently take Estradiol Cypionate by injection, once per week as monotherapy. I've used a tool to estimate my E levels, and I've determined I could likely go 14 days before things get bad (below 100pg/mL), but obviously that would not be an ideal experience for me hormonally. I just tested my levels last week and my E came back significantly higher than I expected (could maybe go longer than 14 days), and my T levels were incredibly low (16ng/dL). So much so that I was planning to reduce my dosage this week, though I think I'll wait to reduce until after my stay in case it lasts longer than I expect. I am almost 100% not going to be able to get them to administer my DIY hormones to me, but if anyone else has had this experience, please comment. I think I've rationalized it enough that I wouldn't be devastated if I were denied access (or more accurately, when I am), assuming my stay isn't longer than 2 weeks. I'm worried that they'll see them and throw them away instead of just locking then up, which would be a big problem because shipping would take about 2 weeks and I don't even have the money for it right now.

However, I am quite concerned about shaving. Since I'll be a voluntary admission, I've heard there's sometimes leniency for supervised face shaving, but I'm also worried about being able to shave my body. Granted, I'll be wearing clothes that cover up all my skin, but the feeling of being unshaven is incredibly dysphoric for me. I could live with it, except for genital hair. I unfortunately have extremely sensitive skin, and I'm pre-op, so if I don't shave for a few days, I will get intense chaffing and irritation, which is the most dysphoric thing I have ever felt in my life. I would be in genuinely severe mental distress having to live like that. But even if I were granted some exception to let me shave there...I'd have to be supervised. And I'm having a really hard time trying to mentally prepare myself for someone watching me shave naked. Especially because I don't know if I'll be allowed to ask that it be a woman that supervises. I've been told it varies wildly from place to place for strip searches, and I assume it would be the same case here.

And then...there's being strip searched. Again, no idea if I can decide if a man or a woman watches me strip and reveal every square inch of myself, which is horrifying. I would feel mildly less mortified if my genitals matched my gender identity, but...I'm not there yet.

The fear of experiencing persistent transphobia while I'm there is also incredibly present for me, especially given that I'm nowhere close to passing. This will be my first time publicly presenting femininely but I think it's what's best for my mental health because it's exhausting having to hide myself in person when I have been open online for almost a year now, and on HRT for 5 months as of today. The only thing holding me back has been living with transphobic parents with a long history of abuse. There are two angles to the transphobia fear. The first is that there may be other patients admitted who are transphobic, and in severely deteriorated mental states, and the second is that staff could be transphobic, and they hold an immense power over me as a patient. Both are terrifying to me, and I don't know how I would deal with it.

And perhaps something more inconsequential is food. I have a milk allergy, so I'd need that to be accommodated, and I'm also autistic so I have a lot of food triggers. I'm worried about not being able to eat enough, to be honest.

None of these things are going to prevent me from admitting myself, I know I need help right now, and I need serious intervention to be able to recover and to keep myself safe...from myself. I'm not going to get into the details because that isn't what this post is about, I've just been having some anxieties about what it's going to be like, and the chances of me leaving the hospital severely traumatized.

If any of you have been through it, what has it been like for you? Any advice?

[-] Filetternavn 18 points 5 months ago

Moot point, as DoorDash driver accounts require a verified driver's license, comprehensive background check, and a valid bank account set up to deposit payment (though after setting up a direct deposit bank account, you can add alternative cash out options). Haven't used DoorDash in a while, but UberEats started requiring facial recognition on top of all that, so I wouldn't be surprised if that were in the DoorDash driver app, too. Hiding IP would do quite literally nothing in this scenario, as you can't create an account anonymously. Counterfeit IDs would not work as they are verified against state records. Oh, and yet another step, you have to provide proof of auto insurance, which is yet another connection to your identity.

[-] Filetternavn 74 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Personally, I have a very poor opinion of nutomic. And yes, he has always been/felt transphobic. He has a history of making massive oversteps to attack people that have differing opinions to his, and overall I believe him to be a threat to the trans community. As for whether we should defederate? I really have no clue. It certainly isn't a bastion for blatant transphobia, and hosts many of the top Lemmy communities, and a very large amount of the active Lemmy userbase. I think the effects of defederation would be immense, and take a lot of time and consideration to understand if it's overall beneficial to the community. That being said, I'm sure I could be swayed to support either side. I'd be very curious what Ada has to say about this, as I believe I'll support her opinion on the matter.

EDIT: I think it's valuable to point out that any individual user can block an instance in their settings. So regardless of any defederation decision (which Ada seems opposed to), anyone can choose to block the instance themselves.

[-] Filetternavn 34 points 8 months ago

This was already posted here, and the original post has a paywall bypass link

[-] Filetternavn 18 points 8 months ago

I really don't like it. That's a term that I've only ever seen associated with porn and sexualization, and I'd prefer not to be sexualized or objectified. I agree with you that I find it dehumanizing, and I really don't like being fetishized. I feel like anyone that would use that term for me is either a chaser or a transphobe, and I don't want to interact with either. And that's without getting into the whole Japanese culture talk, which revolves around traditionalism, heteronormalcy, and misogyny that makes it extra uncomfortable.

[-] Filetternavn 40 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

virt-manager is my go-to. There's also Gnome Boxes, but I've never used it myself. virt-manager is the best I've tried, personally. Both use KVM, so they should be much more resource efficient

[-] Filetternavn 20 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I think this conclusion is incredibly naïve given the dramatically increased bioavailability and significantly decreased side effects that sublingual administration has over oral estradiol. Flooding the liver through oral administration results in strain that is significantly reduced by sublingual administration, and the increased bioavailability alone accounted for comparable testosterone suppression without an anti-androgen at the same daily dosage. So on top of the decrease in liver damage by moving away from oral administration, this approach also does not account for the side effects of the anti-androgen. The miniscule sample size doesn't do any favors to this study, either. The supposed "alarming excursions of serum estradiol" is solved simply by adjusting the dosage and spreading it out into more frequent doses throughout the day. It seems they did split the dosage into 4 doses for sublingual administration, but they are providing the same daily dosage despite significantly increased bioavailability of the sublingual route (which also accounts for the testosterone suppression). Additionally, a dosage of only 2mg of estradiol daily via oral administration is quite low for trans women.

I have a lot of problems with the conclusions of this study.

I'd like to link to a much more complete analysis of the sublingual route of administration for estradiol that analyzes a wide variety of sources (including the one linked in this post) for those interested in a more accurate picture of the benefits and shortcomings of sublingual administration:

An Exploration of Sublingual Estradiol as an Alternative to Oral Estradiol in Transfeminine People

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Filetternavn

joined 10 months ago