Thank you. I broke up with her last night. I wanted it to be on good terms, but it devolved into us venting about our issues with the relationship. It really fucking sucks right now. I looked through all the valentines cards and sticky notes she left for me over the past few years, and I wept. The highs really were high.

I have a support system, but it's gonna be a while before the pain goes away. It's brutal, but I couldn't keep living like this. I haven't felt like I could be myself around her for a long time; I had to be her ideal partner instead.

You were right about how I was living. I was trying not to be harmed by our relationship instead of enjoying it. And I can't say how long it's been like that. It just crept up on me, you know?

It was like I realized how much I'd been carrying this whole time. Trying to keep her happy to avoid being berated or yelled at, or told you're not good enough. In the moment you can dismiss these things as temporary events, but they're not temporary when they become part of your daily reality. I really think she wanted perfect, while I could settle for good enough.

Yeah, I think you're right. I just needed to hear it.

It really fuckin' sucks, but I think I'm just gonna make it worse if I wait. I'm just a little scared to admit years of my life were wasted, yah know?

In theory, it's until you have resolved your issues. It's more like the therapist mediates and asks questions to helo you understand your relationship dynamics. We made quick progress, but it dissipated over the course of a year.

By then, the therapy was mostly trying to help us retread ground and we both struggled with that fact.

You get downvoted for it, but it's absolutely true. She had a real opportunity to distinguish herself from Biden, and for a brief moment I thought she would. Then she shifted to the right to draw in centrists.

Users here can stick their heads in the sand all they want, but like with the Clinton campaign, it won't change the election outcome.

She's handing Trump the race by imitating Biden. I say this as someone who will likely vote for her anyway: this is becoming a disaster for her. She cannot afford to lose Muslim voters in Michigan, and the continued bleeding of Hispanic voters spells even longer-term problems for the party.

Shapiro has a sexual harassment coverup allegation (for a close aide, not himself) and what appears to be serious mismanagement of a stabbing case, where a woman's death was initially ruled a murder, but ultimately his office refused to re-examine the case. It's going before the Pennsylvania Supreme Court, and might be heard before the election. Harris doesn't need an October Surprise to derail her momentum if it makes Shapiro look bad.

Thank you! That cleared it up!

Thank you so much for this information. Your passion is contagious. I'm going to dive into all of these sources in the morning!

Have a wonderful day/evening/night!

Her reaction, and this is maybe me coping really hard right now, might be related to what happened last night. She attempted suicide last night and had the mindset to call my name before she did. Despite my pleas, she went to work this morning since she has no time off and doesn't want to get fired.

We talked about what happened, and she admitted that she's felt like attempting for the past couple months, which kind of follows what I was feeling yesterday. The past 3-4 months have been more difficult than usual.

I don't know what my next steps are. I'm feeling from it and using this forum to vent in a safe way. There's not much advice to give, I think. I'm just going to take this one step at a time.

There's a lot to unpack now--more than even last night. But, yeah, she's acutely aware of the cycle she's putting me in, and she's desperate to not make it a habit.

She tried to kill herself last night. And, it has me wondering if she's been hard on me lately as some way to keep me away, emotionally. I don't know if it was planned and she backed out, or if it was spur of the moment.

She told me she's felt like potentially attempting for the past couple months, which tracks with how her behavior has changed. I said yesterday, I felt like the past 3-4 have been different--a lot harder on me than before.

I'm processing it now. She chose to go to work since she has no vacation time. I tried to persuade her not to, but at the same time, I don't know what is or isn't appropriate to do here.

Yeah, I'm basically where you are now with my mindset.

This CU helped me out during the pandemic, when I was on the struggle bus, but their rates are virtually unchanged since then. It's pretty much just that and inertia that's kept me with them so far.

Time to finally move on to somewhere that actually tries to keep up with the market.

It's no more conditioned by society than polyamory. Animals exhibit both strategies. You seem to be conflating institutions like marriage with sexual selection.

Monogamy is a pair bonding strategy as old as humans. It developed at roughly the same time as polyamorous strategies. There's a strong body of evidence that it became a very prominent strategy around 10-20k years ago, especially in areas with resource strains.

If you want to have multiple partners, by all means, do so, but don't pretend it's some construct. It's a sexual selection strategy hardwired into many different species, including humans.

It just happens to coexist with polyamorous strategies in our species.