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How to improve social skills?
(lemmy.fmhy.ml)
You need professional help my friend. A big aspect of learning to socialize is developing a sense of self, and improving your own self esteem. You gotta become your own friend first, and learn to treat yourself well instead of abusing yourself if you want to be able to form healthy relationships with others. I suggest seeking out a therapist first and foremost.
This is very good advice! Well put
Way too late for that. The 'immaturity' (not quite the right word) immediatly repulses your peers. Younger and older reject you too. There's no catching up. You're left behind permanently.
You gotta find a therapist and start working hard at finding productive changes to make in life, only way out of the hole is to get some help and start learning how to climb ❤️ I'm rooting for you
Sounds good, but it's complete nonsense.
You can think it nonsense if you'd like, but its literally how I pulled myself out of my hole. I used to have such severe social anxiety I couldn't walk down my stairs to feed myself in my own home because downstairs was shared space with my dad and his wife. These days I go out to an event with like 70ish people every Monday, and give a hug to pretty much everone I meet or interact with. I repeatedly talked to my neighbor when he played his music too loud, even though he was super shitty about it all the time. I just had my first job interview (a major hurdle for me) in the past month. And social anxiety isn't the only issue where I've dug my way out. You can doom and gloom yourself deeper into the hole, or you can work on accepting how hard mental illness is to deal with until you get to a point where youre ready to try and do something about it. Acceptance comes first, but change is definitely possible, just really fucking hard.
I still have progress to make myself, and spent a long time in a place of complete dysfunction and distress, but that state isn't intrinsically permanent.
Its never too late to improve and overcome things. I never had many and slowly bled them away myself. I think its from my insecure attachment style from my lovely childhood. If you can figure out yourself thatd be good. Idk how to have friends either. I think the modern world doesnt support it very muxh. I feel like im trying to have them or something. Id talk to you more and try to be your friend. Its not easy for a lot of us but try not to worry about it too much either. Im 30 and ONLY have my SO to talk to. And now theyre close to another friend of theirs. Life is lonely. But dont give up please. I dont want anyone to feel this way.
I don't really want to talk to people. I don't know what to do with them. They make me uncomfortable. I make them uncomfortable. Just go. I've never met someone I "mesh" with.
as others already suggested i think therapy is probably very helpful. but ill try to give another input. do you have any chance to engage in something social? like family functions or some coworkers party you would be invited to? maybe it could be nice to go. it doesnt need to be a big commitment. you can leave early i f you feel bad. but in my experiences this is the first step one can do. and ofc you wont become friends with people there instantly. but the more you are around people, the more those people will like you, in my experience. i was able to make a friend from just beeing at some queer meet ups were that person happened to be aswell. that leads me to the second tip i have, maybe you could find community in hobbys or the like. i find it hard to meet up in real life but shareing my drawings and connect with other beginner artists online was really fun for me. i am not even good. but it doesnt matter ^^ thats why i like reddit/lemmy and the like. i can find a community i find intersting and participate. and after some while i start to recognize the usernames.
i wish you all the best. i absolutly know how hopeless things can seem especially after such a long time. i was once in a similar spot. to you. but even now things can still turn around. there are so many people out there, a bunch of them would love to have you there and eventually to be your friend. the biggest border i had was makeing myself aviable for others, by beeing in public at events or in communitys.
My whole live I've been ignored. No one wants me around. It's delussional to think otherwise at this point. I know people will cling to 'hope' (more accurately described as a dellusion), but it's expensive, and at the end of the day it's not real. This isn't a disease you recover from. It's a flaw in your personality. An unadvantagouse evolutionry shuffle. Better to not drag it out. Things don't get better.
this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2023
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Socialanxiety
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