635
karma chameleons (lemmy.world)
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[-] tanja 55 points 9 months ago

Trans Jesus is canon ✨🏳️‍⚧️

[-] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 37 points 9 months ago

Wouldn't the Y chromosome come from God, and that's where Jesus inherited this magic from?

Although Mary just went straight to heaven without dying, so maybe she had some magic in her genes...

All I know is the earth is definitely older than the sun.

[-] Vilian@lemmy.ca 17 points 9 months ago

according to what i've heard when i was a kid, Mary birth was a miracle, her parents were to old or something and she was born without the original sin

[-] bitwaba@lemmy.world 17 points 9 months ago

Good ol' catholic origin stories.

[-] CitizenKong@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

Maybe Jesus was really bitten by a radioactive god?

[-] TheOneCurly@lemm.ee 7 points 9 months ago

Yeah, I believe she is the "immaculate conception"

[-] Cosmicomical@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

Fun fact, i was born with an original cos

[-] EtherWhack@lemmy.world 33 points 9 months ago

So... More credibility for raptor Jesus, I see

[-] crawancon@lemm.ee 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

yeah well, still, fuck Ken ham.

[-] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 22 points 9 months ago

Do you know why people say, "Jesus H. Christ?" What's the H stand for?

Haploid, of course.

[-] Vilian@lemmy.ca 15 points 9 months ago

the end lmao

btw artificial insemination still keep the person "virgin"?, if so, god may have did that i guess lol

[-] JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works 7 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I'm very sorry, but the first thought that popped into my head is of Mary opening up, going "alright if you get it in this time it's 50 points!".
"He shoots he scores!"

I can't imagine they'd have turkey basters in those days.

[-] uriel238 4 points 9 months ago

A lot of fun is had among Catholic teens who get sloppy with their outercourse, and boyfriend's sperm navigates from the inner labia down through the canal and into the uterus.

Then the girl and her doctor get to have giggles over an intact corona and an actively progressing pregnancy.

[-] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 13 points 9 months ago

So only people with turner syndrome should be pope. Got it.

[-] jpreston2005@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

growing up in that time with Turner syndrome would have made for a very empathetic individual, and could very well have been the lynch pin to her teachings.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

Tina Turner can too, if she asks nicely.

[-] ApostleO@startrek.website 6 points 9 months ago

What about Timmy Turner?

I feel like having fairy god parents would make pope duties a lot easier. Make his blessings a bit more potent.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

Ok, him, Tina Turner and Detective Scott Turner of & Hooch fame, but no more! Under no circumstances must Ted Turner or anyone related to him be allowed to pope around.

[-] chocosoldier 6 points 9 months ago

that last comment makes me lol. literally any distantly possible alternative to a character being queer.

[-] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 19 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Its apologetics 101. Start with the presupposition that the bible is correct, then find any way to make it not conflict with itself or with observations. Mary was a virgin, Jesus is male, only lizards can do that, the Bible doesn’t say she wasn’t a lizard, and yay we did an apologetics!

[-] Cosmicomical@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

Since she was supposedly human, the only X chromosomes theory is the most solid. Unless the holy ghost was not so ghost and had a more material way to make mary pregnant.

[-] Oiconomia@feddit.de 4 points 9 months ago

Is the space pope reptilian?

[-] Lilith_the_serpent@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

OMG! MARY WAS THE SERPENT IN THE TREE! IT SHOULD'VE BEEN MEEEEEEEE!

[-] db2@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

How do they get their own story wrong? His mom wasn't the virgin, he had at least one sibling. It's her that was born of a virgin, in other words jebus' granny was supernaturally told to gfy and did it so well she's made a clone called Mary.

Edit: somebody mad lol

[-] lunarul@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

Her pregnancy came through the Holy Spirit. She was not married at the time and Joseph wanted to leave her when he heard she's pregnant (but an angel explained to him in a dream what is going on). That's the story according to the Bible, so not sure what you're talking about.

[-] forrgott@lemm.ee 8 points 9 months ago

Literally never heard of this. Besides, "their story" is exactly that. The story they made up/went with.

[-] Vilian@lemmy.ca 4 points 9 months ago

were that version come from?

[-] db2@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

It's the "original" that people misunderstand repeatedly to the point they think it's a different story.

[-] nonfuinoncuro@lemm.ee 6 points 9 months ago

I mean at this point you guys are arguing which Harry Potter x Twilight furry crossover fanfic is more realistic so... knock yourselves out?

[-] db2@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

That's exactly why I didn't respond to anyone else here. 🤣

[-] atrielienz@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immaculate_Conception#:~:text=Popular%20devotion%20and%20Ineffabilis%20Deus,-The%20eventual%20creation&text=1303%E2%80%931373)%20told%20how%20Mary,and%20free%20of%20sexual%20lust.

"Popular devotion and Ineffabilis Deus

The eventual creation of the dogma was due more to popular devotion than scholarship.[34] The Immaculate Conception became a popular subject in literature and art,[6] and some devotees went so far as to hold that Anne had conceived Mary by kissing her husband Joachim, and that Anne's father and grandmother had likewise been conceived without sexual intercourse, although Bridget of Sweden (c. 1303–1373) told how Mary herself had revealed to her that Anne and Joachim conceived their daughter through a sexual union which was sinless because it was pure and free of sexual lust.[35]"

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

That’s not what Catholics or orthodoxes believe and considering it’s hard to find a take on Christianity that isn’t held by any Protestant group I’m not likely to believe any of them as the word on Christianity.

Catholic doctrine is that Mary was a virgin who today we would consider a child/adolescent who was married but not consummated with a laborer descendant of David. She was asked by an Angel to bear Jesus and accepted without hesitation. And she remained a virgin until she ascended to heaven body and soul at the end of her life.

[-] FossilVerbrechen@lemm.ee 1 points 9 months ago

Man, it took me 20 minutes to understand this shit. Must be cuz I am no native speaker, not that I am just stupid

this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2024
635 points (100.0% liked)

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