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What if we added a social component like "Stories" to this calculator app? (i.postimg.cc)

submitted 9 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev

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[-] SonnyVabitch@lemmy.world 198 points 9 months ago

If you ever feel useless just remember somebody designed and implemented the share-to-facebook feature on porn sites.

[-] JimmyMcGill@lemmy.world 150 points 9 months ago

That isn’t there so people use it. That is there so that Facebook can track where you go

[-] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 87 points 9 months ago

Course they only need a 1px by 1px image for that right?

Shoutout Facebook Container for Firefox, or Firefox if you’re still using a browser that’s killing the open web 😉

[-] SonnyVabitch@lemmy.world 55 points 9 months ago

[-] xantoxis@lemmy.world 24 points 9 months ago

At this point both of these guys are saying "I have seen horrible things"

[-] smeg@feddit.uk 9 points 9 months ago

They're both the same guy, just one's wearing a hat

[-] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.

[-] DarylDutch@lemmy.world 33 points 9 months ago

No man. That is a brilliant feature that has caught out many "anti-gay" politician's.

[-] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 29 points 9 months ago

Wanted to prove people used those buttons, but maybe not (need to use better/unblocked terms I suppose):

Low Stakes Conspiracies: that share button is there to get users banned. Activist admins or funded by Musk himself?

(Yeah, they pulled a permanent Twitter Taylor Swift on Pornhub.)

Proof 404 (2003)

[-] lewdian69@lemmy.world 15 points 9 months ago

I didn't believe you but can confirm this blank search within the Facebook app. Instagram, by the same parent company, has lots of results though. Guess all the puritanical boomers are on Facebook not Insta

[-] EldritchFeminity 10 points 9 months ago

I wouldn't be surprised if there was some sort of "shadow ban" style component to this. I think Tumblr does something like that where postsand tags that are marked as sexually explicit can't be found by searching for them, but if you're following the person, you can see them.

[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 18 points 9 months ago

If you're ever depressed about building useless software just remember - leveraged buyouts are a thing. You could buy your company for nothing by just putting massive debt in the company account and actually manage it right.

Well, in theory, in actuality this piece of accounting bullshit is reserved for vulture capitalists that will destroy the value of the company and asshats (see: Elon Musk) that will destroy the value of the company.

Capitalism destroys everything that we build!

[-] mcmoor@bookwormstory.social 9 points 9 months ago

Well unless you somehow able to liquidate more money than the debt, the lender is the fool. The original founder practically got an exit that all startups wanted, you get the cheated money, but the lender gets nothing. You have to be able to fool someone into this position first.

[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 9 points 9 months ago

Oh certainly. I'm sure Elon Musk is totally going to pay that loan back. It's impossible that he bought out Twitter just to be able to ban people who pointed out how much of an asshat he is. Also, Trump somehow keeps getting loans and he's loses more money every month than most of us make in a decade - that's the sort of savvy businessman you can trust.

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[-] Nunya@lemdro.id 92 points 9 months ago

Pulse SMS App for Android recently updated to include:

New “Discover” Section: Find new offers, inspiring content, articles & more

On a messaging app, really??? Who wants any of those features when trying to message someone?

[-] 0000@lemmy.world 51 points 9 months ago

The great thing is that you can simply uninstall it and leave an inspiring review.

[-] cupcakezealot 26 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

wow pulse used to be great. did luke sell? i remember he open sourced it in 2020 but the repo seems to be gone: https://github.com/klinker-apps/pulse-sms-android

edit: huh looks like they got bought in oct. 2020. https://www.androidpolice.com/2020/10/29/it-looks-like-pulse-sms-has-been-bought-by-maple-media-get-ready-for-intrusive-ads/

(there is another repo here https://github.com/jarvanh/pulse-sms-android but i'm not sure how official it is)

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 77 points 9 months ago

You don't understand! If you don't keep adding new features, people will stop using your app!

Who wants simple apps that just work as intended, am I right?

[-] xthexder@l.sw0.com 45 points 9 months ago

The UNIX Tools Philosophy is that tools should do one thing, and they should do it well.
I wish more things followed this philosophy.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 20 points 9 months ago

Along with the even older philosophy of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."

[-] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Hear hear. That's how the tools I write work as well.

[-] UFODivebomb@programming.dev 12 points 9 months ago

We've created an economy where that is not sustainable.

This fact is bad imo, but it's where we are.

[-] konst@lemmy.ml 7 points 9 months ago

Uaers need a $39.99p/m subscription to Calcly Pro.

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[-] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 61 points 9 months ago

My favorite is menstruation calendars with friend lists. My least favorite is when my gynecologist wants to hang out only a week out of the month.

[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 23 points 9 months ago

Please tell me this is a real world example because that's hilariously awful.

[-] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 8 points 9 months ago

God, I hope it’s not real. But it’s the only way to sell more analytics from a period app and thus an eventuality.

[-] zaphod@lemmy.ca 55 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

As a former product manager where the CEO led the sales team, I feel seen.

[-] refurbishedrefurbisher@lemmy.sdf.org 46 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

More than likely, if it's a publicly traded company, it's the shareholders and the board of directors.

[-] EpeeGnome@lemm.ee 16 points 9 months ago

The board's job is to hire the CEO and demand good value for shareholders. The CEO's job is to make the big decisions to achieve that goal quickly and then usually leave before their short term thinking falls apart. The manager's job is to enforce whatever decisions the CEO makes, even if it is stupid or cruel. And the employee's job is to suffer so that each layer above can look good to the layer above them.

Not to say there's no good people in the system. My manager for most of my time there was actually a good manager who felt that his primary job was to deflect away the shit that rolled down from above so we could focus on our work, but then he got laid off along with half my coworkers.

I do miss writing software, but I really don't miss working in the corporate world.

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[-] cupcakezealot 36 points 9 months ago

vim stories when

[-] ris@feddit.de 15 points 9 months ago

We already have tinder like for vscode: https://github.com/benawad/vsinder

[-] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 8 points 9 months ago

Now we need github for lesbians.

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[-] lemmesay@discuss.tchncs.de 29 points 9 months ago

CEOs changed the game completely after one of them played spiderman 2.
warning: the story might change the way you think how some developers are treated across the world.
for a full documentary, see this YouTube video(in German, but you can turn on the subtitles)

[-] asyncrosaurus@programming.dev 6 points 9 months ago

I don't know if the game is the best example of busineses making top-down design decisions, since that game was an obvious scam from the start.

[-] lemmesay@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 9 months ago

you're right. perhaps a better example would be YouTube suggesting videos by colour?

[-] asyncrosaurus@programming.dev 8 points 9 months ago

I never saw that, that's legitimately funny. I'd love to be in the room when that feature was designed, and the reaction of the developer it was handed too.

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[-] DannyBoy@sh.itjust.works 24 points 9 months ago

The dude who made VSCode Stories sold it for some cash.

[-] flameguy21@lemm.ee 10 points 9 months ago

A feature so useless that I use VS Code almost daily and had no idea this existed

[-] DannyBoy@sh.itjust.works 11 points 9 months ago

It was/is an extension so you would've had to explicitly search for and install it to see it.

[-] xantoxis@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

I mean, credit to Microsoft and VS Code for not putting bullshit like this right in your face

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[-] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 18 points 9 months ago

the CEO has read in this obscure online tech blog that ...

[-] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago

12*2 = 24 and today I went to the store to buy some bananas but the all the bananas were too ripe #banan #banana #bananas #banani

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[-] GreenEnigma@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago

This meme is the most those people have ever actually contributed to society as a whole.

[-] WaxedWookie@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago

What are you talking about? David kicked kinda good while having hair, and Victoria was in a band called the Spice Girls despite being a set square haunted by the ghost of a rice cracker.