I'm imagining that his wife will never hear the end of it. "See honey, and you said I didn't need to carry two guns around all the time. Well look who was right about that."

That's not really a fair comparison. Most things are pathetic by elven standards.

U.S.: Please don't attack Taiwan.

China: You're trying to reverse psychology me into attacking, but I won't be fooled.

U.S.: Oh, good. So, you agree not to attack Taiwan?

China: I will if I want to and it's none of your business.

Took me a minute, but it's comparing the story to observed hermit crab behavior.

They won't be expecting it, so that's exactly what I plan to do. And don't call me Shirley.

From now on, we need to refer to all water traveling drug smugglers as drug turtles instead of drug mules.

I had a call to fix a guy's printer. Look at the back and he's managed to somehow jam the USB-B plug in upside down, destroying the port. He was elderly, and I don't know how he managed to apply the force needed. Luckily this printer also can be connected via ethernet. Unluckily, he had previously jammed it into the ethernet port, also destroying it.

or with parental consent.

Eww, that line tells you all you need to know about this guy. And the fact that this is actually legal in some states is disturbing.

“That is my legal argument,” Blanche replied.

People are saying he only hires the best lawyers. Well let me tell you that nobody hires better lawyers than Trump.

I can't help but think of this from the wizard's point of view as a 4chan green text.

be me, an edgy young wizard. Want to pick a really cool wizard name and come up with "Charles LeSorcier."

mfw the older wizards all make fun of my name.

get in an argument with a local noble and lose my temper. claim I put a curse on his whole family line that they will each die when they are 30.

remember I haven't learned how to do it. go home and try to figure out how to cast a blood line curse. it's too complicated, I can't figure it out. Can't ask the other wizards now because they already heard about the curse and they'd just make fun of me more.

make a secret lab in the noble's basement and spend the next 10 years stuck there trying to figure it out. still fail. time's up, he turned 30. if the noble doesn't die they'll all know I lied. finally give up and just sneak into his house and murder him. make it look like an accident.

mfw the other wizards fall for it. they all think I'm alright now. maybe they will forget about the bloodline thing by the time the noble's kid is 30.

the bloodline thing is all they want to talk about. 18 years later I have to murder the next one. the other wizards are super hyped I pulled it off, want to be my friend now. none of them know how to cast a bloodline curse either.

mfw I'm stuck for the next few centuries hiding in a noble's basement and murdering them every couple decades to cover my lie.

TeChNiCaLlY, unless I missed something big, he wasn't convicted of the rape. That requires a criminal trial. A jury did find that he raped her as a material fact in a civil trial, so we can say with legal certainty that it happened, but until an actual conviction, it will be used as a excuse to avoid holding him to account for it. Of course a bunch of the right are the type to blame the victim or wave it off entirely for that particular crime anyway so I don't know how much difference even a conviction would make to them.