421
I am straight (lemmy.world)
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[-] PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works 55 points 2 years ago

TIL therapists diagnose your sexuality.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 60 points 2 years ago

*guy walks in the room*

Therapist: *writes GAY in their notebook, underlines it*

[-] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 years ago

"I know it. Your family knows it. DOGS know it!"

[-] phorq@lemmy.ml 12 points 2 years ago

Mine diagnosed me as being sexually attracted to therapists. I told them that's not a sexuality and to continue analyzing me...

[-] PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 years ago

So are you still seeing them?

[-] phorq@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 years ago

Yes, but nothing's official

[-] Aceticon@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Good old massage therapy...

[-] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 33 points 2 years ago

I mean yeah, he likes to have dudes suck his dick, but that doesn't make him gay, the guys sucking him are gay, duh.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 19 points 2 years ago

Beat the guy afterwards for being a dirty homo. That way nobody will think you're gay.

[-] problematicPanther@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

it's okay if you suck a little dick, as long as you don't kiss him on the lips it's fine.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 5 points 2 years ago

Or if it's just a prank between bros

[-] rikudou@lemmings.world 29 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I think he's the straightest of them all. He's straight. He. Is. Straight.

Straight.

spoiler

Straight.

[-] OpenStars@startrek.website 15 points 2 years ago

He's so straight (how straight is he?) - why he's so straight that he manages to like women, even though... oh uh I mean yeah he's straight! :-P

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 13 points 2 years ago

He's so straight he doesn't like anything with curves! Boobies? Nope. Pussy, not straight enough!

Booty? Dudes got straight, flat booty, not bad not bad. Dick? Straight as an arrow, my kinda body part!

Not gay just OCD for straight things and he just for some reason can't shake the need to put them in his mouth.

[-] Aceticon@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Around here, in less politically correct times there was once a comical sketch on TV of a guy who was so straight and liked women so much that he had a sex change operation to become a woman, and thus became a lesbian woman.

That's the ultimate straight guy right there!

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago
[-] KuroeNekoDemon@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 years ago

Sure you are man. Sure you are. You know I thought I also experienced sexual attraction until I realized my own mother was correct that I am asexual. Welcome to the alphabet mafia (LGBTQ+ community)

[-] Cihta@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago
[-] OpenStars@startrek.website 7 points 2 years ago

And I can stop anytime I want to, I'm telling you! (bawls: I'm straight, I promise you I'm so straight...)

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 8 points 2 years ago

Reminds me of that old post about how someone hated weed because it made them want to suck their friend's dick

[-] OpenStars@startrek.website 1 points 2 years ago
[-] wowwoweowza@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 years ago

Did someone really post this? In 2024?

[-] wowbagger_@lemm.ee 16 points 2 years ago

yeah, I thought we killed satire years ago!

[-] Aceticon@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

The goal posts keep getting moved so much that it's a whole different sport, but some still manage to score.

[-] Klear@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Satire is alive and kicking

/s

[-] SPRUNT@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

That man is a gay homosexual.

this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2024
421 points (100.0% liked)

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