Took a couple years for it to become habitual, a few more for it to become truly subconscious. At this point I dont hesitate at all in calling myself a woman, in responding to my name or pronouns, or in associating myself with other women. It takes time, but after a while it becomes a deep part of who you are. It's a very gradual process, and it feels weird when you first start. Saying something and truly believing it with all your heart are 2 different things, and self doubt and uncertainty can lurk around for a while. But thats normal, it's a part of self acceptance that most trans people go through.
Wow thank you for this reply. I find it relatable despite my lack of experience
My new name/pronouns felt really foreign to me for a long time honestly. I used they/them for a while until i felt "femme enough" for she/her (whatever that means) and these days i'm they/she.
It just took some time for that to go away. Other people gendering you properly can help reinforce that it's correct.
I was the same way. Was really cautious about it, going from he/they to they/them, they/she before finally just telling folks she/her. I have a ton of respect for the folks that have the confidence to switch right off the bat but for me it was ~a year into hrt before I got truly comfy with it
I had my name first, and only really used my new pronouns with close friends at first to get a feel for it. The biggest thing for me was my partner at the time switching from calling me handsome to beautiful ❤️. That solidified it more than pronouns.
switching from calling me handsome to beautiful ❤️
omg that sounds like it would melt my heart into a puddle from happyness 😍 🥰
I felt much more comfortable with them when I started going by a different name. Having my name and pronouns consistent, even if I don't pass in any way, works best for me. Adjusting to it was pretty quick for me after that
It was weird at first but you get over it. I personally didn't experiment all that much - I had already been on hormones for awhile and had a fuck ton of voice practice to where I was gendered correctly on the phone.
I was also an overly anxious wreck, though, so I don't quite recommend my approach lol. Just do what you feel comfortable with
hell i just went to another Dr's appointment around GAHT and actually asked that my AMAB name be used. wtf. 😅
i know this is grounded in my feelings around asking someone to gender me other than male - i'm still getting over the idea that i'm not (or shouldn't be) inconveniencing someone by asking them to use my preferred pronouns, name, etc. especially if i don't feel tremendously feminine at times.
it definitely takes quite a while. i started by just being stella (she/her) on discord and nowhere else, which already helped me kinda get used to it. my supportive family members eventually started to kinda "force" it onto me, not in a bad way, just like actively confronting me with the name and pronouns, both for them to get used to it and also for myself. that really helped me because otherwise i probably wouldve been too scared. nowadays i use my real name for everything i do and i have started to feel bad about my deadname. still, hearing my name and pronouns feels weird, but im slowly getting used to it and i love that :3
Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
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Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.