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submitted 1 year ago by elfahor to c/mtf

In the process of questioning myself, I discovered that it doesn't seem very natural to refer to myself as she/her at first. How did you yourself experiment it? Did it take some time getting used to? Or was it an instant relief?

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[-] LadyAutumn 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Took a couple years for it to become habitual, a few more for it to become truly subconscious. At this point I dont hesitate at all in calling myself a woman, in responding to my name or pronouns, or in associating myself with other women. It takes time, but after a while it becomes a deep part of who you are. It's a very gradual process, and it feels weird when you first start. Saying something and truly believing it with all your heart are 2 different things, and self doubt and uncertainty can lurk around for a while. But thats normal, it's a part of self acceptance that most trans people go through.

[-] elfahor 6 points 1 year ago

Wow thank you for this reply. I find it relatable despite my lack of experience

[-] sky@lemmy.codesink.io 13 points 1 year ago

My new name/pronouns felt really foreign to me for a long time honestly. I used they/them for a while until i felt "femme enough" for she/her (whatever that means) and these days i'm they/she.

It just took some time for that to go away. Other people gendering you properly can help reinforce that it's correct.

[-] lizardlike@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I was the same way. Was really cautious about it, going from he/they to they/them, they/she before finally just telling folks she/her. I have a ton of respect for the folks that have the confidence to switch right off the bat but for me it was ~a year into hrt before I got truly comfy with it

[-] BrilliantAhra 8 points 1 year ago

I had my name first, and only really used my new pronouns with close friends at first to get a feel for it. The biggest thing for me was my partner at the time switching from calling me handsome to beautiful ❤️. That solidified it more than pronouns.

[-] CorrenteAlternata 5 points 1 year ago

switching from calling me handsome to beautiful ❤️

omg that sounds like it would melt my heart into a puddle from happyness 😍 🥰

I felt much more comfortable with them when I started going by a different name. Having my name and pronouns consistent, even if I don't pass in any way, works best for me. Adjusting to it was pretty quick for me after that

[-] mustyOrange@beehaw.org 7 points 1 year ago

It was weird at first but you get over it. I personally didn't experiment all that much - I had already been on hormones for awhile and had a fuck ton of voice practice to where I was gendered correctly on the phone.

I was also an overly anxious wreck, though, so I don't quite recommend my approach lol. Just do what you feel comfortable with

[-] JessMarie@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

hell i just went to another Dr's appointment around GAHT and actually asked that my AMAB name be used. wtf. 😅

i know this is grounded in my feelings around asking someone to gender me other than male - i'm still getting over the idea that i'm not (or shouldn't be) inconveniencing someone by asking them to use my preferred pronouns, name, etc. especially if i don't feel tremendously feminine at times.

[-] stella 3 points 1 year ago

it definitely takes quite a while. i started by just being stella (she/her) on discord and nowhere else, which already helped me kinda get used to it. my supportive family members eventually started to kinda "force" it onto me, not in a bad way, just like actively confronting me with the name and pronouns, both for them to get used to it and also for myself. that really helped me because otherwise i probably wouldve been too scared. nowadays i use my real name for everything i do and i have started to feel bad about my deadname. still, hearing my name and pronouns feels weird, but im slowly getting used to it and i love that :3

this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2023
28 points (100.0% liked)

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