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this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2023
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Transfem
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My new name/pronouns felt really foreign to me for a long time honestly. I used they/them for a while until i felt "femme enough" for she/her (whatever that means) and these days i'm they/she.
It just took some time for that to go away. Other people gendering you properly can help reinforce that it's correct.
I was very afraid of telling people my chosen name until I came out to two female friends of mine and the always introduce me as Alice and they love me very much and their friends as well.
Feeling loved as Alice was for me the "click" for internalising that "I really am Alice"
I am still scared to introduce myself as Alice because I don't pass very well and I don't want people asking me questions, but at least I'm now 100% that I'm Alice, a girl, and that I want people to refer to me using the feminine forms of my language :)
I was the same way. Was really cautious about it, going from he/they to they/them, they/she before finally just telling folks she/her. I have a ton of respect for the folks that have the confidence to switch right off the bat but for me it was ~a year into hrt before I got truly comfy with it