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Caught at a party (startrek.website)
submitted 1 year ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website to c/whitepeopletwitter@sh.itjust.works
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[-] _cnt0@sh.itjust.works 167 points 1 year ago

Story time:

My ex lived in another town and I went there by train. She waited for me on the station platform. I saw her first and took a detour over the neighboring platform because it was pretty crowded. I walked up beside her without her noticing me. Mind you, what follows was completely impromptu (we were both weirdos):

I looked sideways on her tits (she had nice really big tits, like, top 5% big). I spoke pretty loud so a lot of bystanders could hear it.

Me: Hmm, nice tits! Wanna fuck?

She checked me out from top to bottom.

Her: Sure, why not.

Me: OK. But, I gotta know what you taste like first.

Her: OK.

We went on to make the sloppiest wet kiss tongue-in-throat-style.

Me: Your place?

Her: Yah, let's fuck.

People looked at us in disgust, shock, or disbelief. Only one guy had the widest grin on his face. While going I gave her ass a good squeeze. The looks on the faces were priceless.

[-] Nusm@lemmy.world 82 points 1 year ago

That’s close to one of the running jokes that my wife and I have. When we’re in the grocery or department store and we spilt up for a few, when I find her, I will sneak up behind her and say, “Excuse me ma’am, I know you don’t know me, but you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Can I pay for your stuff and take you back to my place?”

I always think I’m funny. She? Only sometimes. Me? Always.

[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 11 points 1 year ago

I wouldn't mind if you offered to pay for my groceries either wink wink nudge nudge

[-] Nusm@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Are you a goer? Wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean?

[-] uid0gid0@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!

[-] kautau@lemmy.world 51 points 1 year ago

Only one guy had the widest grin on his face

https://media.tenor.com/Pa78nrgQkscAAAAd/survivor-omg.gif

[-] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago

This looks like Survivor? What's the context?

[-] ramble81@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago

I always see it when the lady got smashed in the face by a watermelon but I think they’re really two different events.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 44 points 1 year ago

(she had nice really big tits, like, top 5% big)

I wasn't going to read till the end but you convinced me

[-] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago

My wife and I do that sort of thing all the time to each other, and it's always fun. She used to work as a bartender in a restaraunt, and after work I'd go hang out there just to be with her and sometimes I'd hit on her in the most lewd manner I could manage. And she would just lean into it, it was amazing.

[-] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 21 points 1 year ago

That's legendary. You must really like acting

[-] glarf@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

First time a comment got me to laugh out loud, nice.

[-] WoefKat@lemmy.ml 28 points 1 year ago

It'd be funnier to go like "yeah I'm one of his wives" :)

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 29 points 1 year ago

Disagree

[-] WoefKat@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Polyamory is a thing though <3 So it's not that far-fetched.

Unfortunately marriage law hasn't yet caught up to that fact in most places but I'm sure it will.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

Even with polyamorous surely a surprise wife would raise some eyebrows.

[-] Cannacheques@slrpnk.net 1 points 1 year ago

True, I think it's more the skepticism of my younglings being smarter or stronger than your younglings thing though

[-] Cannacheques@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 year ago

Ask them if they're Mormon to get a reaction

[-] WoefKat@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

Ooh Mormons do that? I didn't know, I thought religious people were always so monogamous.

But I think Mormons only allow for a man to have multiple wives and not a women to have multiple husbands. I'm all for polyamory but it must be both ways.

[-] Cannacheques@slrpnk.net 9 points 1 year ago

Hahaha that is such a class act honestly I love memes like this

this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
831 points (100.0% liked)

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