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The OP includes that it’s from /r/shortguys, but it didn’t have to. Nowhere else is this fucking weird about being short.
-a dude nearly 6” shorter than average
How about free extensions for having a clean record?
Asking for a friend.
So basically, the taller you are the more you can afford to embezzle. The entire NBA becomes corporate scapegoats overnight.
I'm willing to both get stinking rich and no longer be in constant pain on airplanes
What if they made you taller so you have to stoop to go through doorways?
If you're short you get shortened, if you're tall you get tallened.
Maybe, but only for like really violent criminals.
Like someone who killed fitty men
That was clearly written by someone who hasn't watched Casino.
His ending was so brutal. That movie is so good.
I would commit incredibly heinous crimes if doing so would make me shorter. It is not good policy to incentivise a crime wave.
I’m decently above average height for my country, but I grew up with so many really tall people around that I never felt tall. So a cheaper punishment could be to have to be the waterboy for a basketball team.
So torture?
Optional being a critical component you just ignored.
The American prison system is already tourtue.
That's an odd way to spell "slavery", but you're close... though that certainly is a guaranteed component in the US.
this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2026
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