I'm not a doctor, but I don't think you'll have much luck finding one to help you with that. The legality behind physician-assisted suicide will definitely vary by country, but I'm pretty sure no doctor will go through with it over a mental health concern. Maybe if you had like a traumatic brain injury that made you unable to care for yourself, but that's technically a physical health issue

I don’t want to die but I don’t think there’s any other choice

This statement is reason enough to prevent a doctor from killing you. If you don't want to die, they won't make it happen - consent is super important for something that grave. Suicidality is also very often a temporary thing, some day you might change your mind. There's a reason that euthanasia is used almost exclusively for the terminally ill.

I'm sorry you're struggling. The specter of homelessness hangs over my head too, and I often think I'd rather be dead than have to deal with that. But every time I've almost died I really didn't want it to happen.

You probably should still talk to a doctor about this. If you'd rather kill yourself than live without support then that should help illustrate the severity of your disability. Not knowing what country you're currently in, I can't tell you what support is available to you - but there's almost certainly something that can be done to help you.

I've been there. It's a terrible place. The one thing that got me through it was knowing how much it would hurt everyone else around me.

I recently attended a funeral for someone who couldn't take it anymore. Their mother crying was the worst sound you could think of.

They thought they were alone, had no help, but the funeral room was overfull.

Don't make the same mistake. People want and need you here. It's 2am, so i won't reply until tomorrow, but know that this hard time, like all hard times, eventually passes. And even though you can never see it, there is a bright future ahead that you don't want to miss out on. You just need to hang on in any way you can until you get there.

I'm in nz BTW so just over the ditch from you

I've had feelings like this before. It's not easy to deal with those.

I'll grant you the respect of not telling you what to do or that "YoU HaVe sO mUcH tO LiVe FoR!" Because I don't know your situation and it always pissed me off when complete strangers were convinced they knew exactly how to solve ALL of my problems.

I realized I was ADHD when I was about 40. I always thought that was kids who couldn't sit still, so I never thought it was me. Turns out there is an inattentive type that breaks all the stereotypes and is usually just misinterpreted as "smart, but lazy".

It's impossible for other's to understand how hard it can be to motivate yourself, and basic tasks become insurmountable obstacles. But also, we're fickle as hell, so, in a day or two, things may but feel as impossible as they do now. Find solace for today, try to keep yourself distracted, and see what tomorrow brings.

Also just to say, please don't send me links to help with suicidal thoughts, I have been to therapy while I could still afford it but it does not solve the problem of not being able to work. I know lots of people are homeless but I don't think I could do it myself. I am a woman and conventionally attractive and hence will very likely get raped etc if I was homeless, so I prefer to qualify for euthanasia thanks.

What the fuck?

You need to be on medication and receiving psychiatric care. You don’t qualify for euthanasia in any country where it is legal as your condition is not terminal nor have you exhausted all medical options.

Having been at mental rock bottom myself I'll spare you the uplifting words. You won't feel them. I got out of that shit using logic and problem solving skills and a ton of help.

I don't think from what you wrote that you really have tried all available resources and possibilities to solve your problems.

There is usually help available from charities and the like to support you with applying for social security benefits and aid. Those people know that stuff well. Have you applied for disability? Mental counts. There is lots of stuff you can do that you don't know about.

Don't be too proud to get help from anyone you know. Family, friends etc. Don't be overly dramatic but also don't hide your problems.

I think before you consider ending your life you might as well try all the other options. Because that option is rather irreversible. You don't see a way out right now. But the final option doesn't go away. You say you think you'll end up homeless. Now you aren't. So try a few things now while it isn't too late.

And while depressed you never think anything works. The depressed emotional state makes you very much not objective. You twist everything into a bad light. Keep trying to find solutions and seeking help. Might still work. Did for me. I didn't believe it would but I tried anyway.

I saw a video of a guy from the US who moved to Spain to escape gang life. He spent his while life doing side hustles and whatever. So he had developed PTSD from years of bad situations and he was basically homeless. He moved to Uruguay and they let him stay. They gave him a place to live and he has services. I think the support you are looking for could be in some other non-English country. US, UK, Canada, Australia, are pretty much disasters.

Nope sadly not :/ that's why I'm trying to find work that doesn't feel like work. While I could tolerate certain jobs for a period of time in the past... It's just not possible for me anymore now. And as long as I'm given a job that I can do well in, I know I'll be able to hyper focus on it... It's just the job hunting part that I can't do. But if I can't do the job hunting.. I can't find a job.