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[-] cmbabul@slrpnk.net 50 points 2 weeks ago

John Daly just hasn’t been sober in 40 years and now his body processes alcohol faster than any blood test or breathalyzer to reliably detect.

[-] zurohki@aussie.zone 30 points 2 weeks ago

He looks like he once got arrested for waiting for a stop sign to turn green.

[-] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago

When I was 18 I got pulled over for that actually. I got away with it because I told the cop I dropped my cigarette in my floorboard. Truth be told I was higher than bird pussy and was waiting for the green.

[-] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

Nice.

bird pussy

The judges would also have accepted "giraffe balls" and "a kite".

[-] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

What extant land animal, when standing upright on flat ground, has the highest testicles (measured from the lowest part of the testicle)? Is it actually a giraffe? Because it seems like it's a giraffe.

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago

You joke but my dad was the doc on some cases were the guy should have been dead from alcohol poisoning, according to modern medicine, and instead was driving with very little impediment. Mithridatisation really is a thing.

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

I had a coworker who got stopped for DUI at 3 AM and blew a .032. Somehow she was allowed to go home and was at work at 6:30 that same morning. Unremarkable except I'm a school bus driver, so she was driving kids three and a half hours after blowing a .032.

She was suspended and after two weeks she was allowed to resign, so she is presumably still driving kids somewhere else. The reason for this is we're unionized (Teamsters) and she was the shop steward, which made firing her very difficult. I've very pro-union but GOD DAMN there are some aspects to unions that just fucking suck.

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, that's a perversion of the union system. We've the same shit with doctors sometimes (in France). It's a shame because it's an easy win for opponents of the system.

[-] BucketBong@p.hobo.social 34 points 3 weeks ago

He distracts the cops with his pants and Jedi Mind tricks them into letting him go.

[-] Kellenved@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 weeks ago

When you’re as rich as these fuckwads, why would you ever choose to drive?

[-] atomicbocks@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 weeks ago

Some people can’t not be in control.

[-] daw@feddit.org 6 points 2 weeks ago

I can't not be in control!

Proceeds to abuse substances to the point of loosing control

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago

Because driving is fucking awesome! Just depends where you do it.

[-] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 3 points 2 weeks ago

Allow me to introduce you to bicycles, my friend

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago

Sure sure, bicycles are cute for a nice peaceful ride around a lake or across town, no worries. I used them regularly in Wuhan.

[-] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

I meant like the thrill of cycling v driving. The same straightaways and hills which seem so exciting on a bike just seem like more road from a car. Windows down helps a bit, but still not the same.

Might be more subjective than I thought though.

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago

Ah no that is a fair point. Cycling speed let's you appreciate things at a different scale. It happened to me many times when living in Wuhan. Stuff that was just "blocks of buildings" on a bus suddenly became such and such shop or specific building. Happened to me in towns I lived in as a driver. Taking the bicycle to go drinking in the town center let me notice the architecture of individual building.

It's a different experience for sure, I find that each mode of moving around has pros and cons :)

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

You're right. Going biking in a group through a city I used to live in was wild in how much it changed my perspective on the city and made it feel fun and beautiful.

I'm glad I left that city but I miss those rides

[-] Unpigged@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 2 weeks ago

If somebody told me 20 years ago that Lemmy Kilmister would outlive Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson, I would've laughed.

[-] WalleyeWarrior@midwest.social 19 points 2 weeks ago

Tiger would have more but California police have been very lenient with him over the years. He wrecked a car on pain pills a few years back and the police decided not to take a blood sample after the incident and said they couldn't prosecute him due to lack of evidence

[-] VerilyFemme 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

It's easy to drive drunk if you do everything else drunk too.

[-] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago
[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

this unironically worked for me until my supply ran out.

[-] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 weeks ago

Good ol’ boy network?

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

wait fuck i saw his doppelganger the other day. Dude had gatorskin pants on and mexican pointy boots. looked sharp as fuck.

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago

That sounds like Alain Robert. Was your man free solo climbing a skyscraper, or perhaps a cliff in the south of France?

[-] FudgyMcTubbs@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Daly. Thrilla the Gorilla is a dunce.

this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2026
347 points (100.0% liked)

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