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[-] punkwalrus@lemmy.world 40 points 5 days ago

I was in some stupid ego match, and some guy made the comment that was one of those machismo put-downs akin to, "I fucked your mom." So I snapped back, "She died in 1987, so I guess that makes you a pedophile." I meant to say "necrophile," but my mouth said something different than my brain, and I screwed it up. Thankfully, he didn't pick up on it, and shot back my mom died knowing I was a disappointment. But he went too far, and his friend stopped him, like, "stop before this becomes a physical fight." I had ZERO intention of making it a physical fight (I would have lost), but he backed down anyway and it just awkwardly ended with me remembering I said the wrong word for almost two decades, now.

[-] ALoafOfBread@lemmy.ml 16 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

wrong word

Idk I think that's even better somehow

[-] Zorque@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

I dunno, feels a little too muskian.

[-] pfjarschel@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago

it just awkwardly ended with me remembering I said the wrong word for almost two decades, now.

Well, that pretty much sums up my life.

[-] Townlately@feddit.nl 39 points 5 days ago

One time a teacher said that she wanted to "keep us on our toes" and I raised my hand and said "I don't have any toes" and she didn't know how to respond. So I mean, something to keep in the chamber for later.

[-] Phantaloons@piefed.zip 4 points 5 days ago

Spread your wings, graduates! Fly!

uncomfortable confusion by the entire audience

[-] BucketBong@p.hobo.social 10 points 5 days ago

I've found that weh someone comes up like that, like a psychic or one of those "charities", if you ask them with a bit of a frantic voice " Do you have the time?" Then wait a second and go "I'm late" and walk off, it fries their brain enough to get away.

[-] notsosure@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 days ago

Curiously enough, this psychic knew this answer already, so not sure why they should’ve been surprised. Unless they were crap at psychicing.

[-] BillyClark@piefed.social 5 points 5 days ago

as long as they leave you alone

I think I'd like my next house to have a moat and drawbridge.

[-] Zorque@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

Like that guy from the latest knives out movie?

[-] BillyClark@piefed.social 1 points 5 days ago

I didn't see that yet, but mine has those big buckets of boiling oil that you dump on "visitors."

this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2026
511 points (100.0% liked)

Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

RULES:

  1. Your post must be a screen capture of a microblog-type post that includes the UI of the site it came from, preferably also including the avatar and username of the original poster. Including relevant comments made to the original post is encouraged.
  2. Your post, included comments, or your title/comment should include some kind of commentary or remark on the subject of the screen capture. Your title must include at least one word relevant to your post.
  3. You are encouraged to provide a link back to the source of your screen capture in the body of your post.
  4. Current politics and news are allowed, but discouraged. There MUST be some kind of human commentary/reaction included (either by the original poster or you). Just news articles or headlines will be deleted.
  5. Doctored posts/images and AI are allowed, but discouraged. You MUST indicate this in your post (even if you didn't originally know). If an image is found to be fabricated or edited in any way and it is not properly labeled, it will be deleted.
  6. Absolutely no NSFL content.
  7. Be nice. Don't take anything personally. Take political debates to the appropriate communities. Take personal disagreements & arguments to private messages.
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