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submitted 2 days ago by laranis@lemmy.zip to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

My recently widowed father (72) is planning a trip across the country to meet a woman who he claims called him by accident and with whom he has since built a romantic (remote) relationship. Here's what he's shared with me:

  • He received a "wrong number" call from a woman that led to a number of other conversations online and on the phone that started to take on a romantic tone.
  • He believes she is real because he has checked her out online, including validating that she is indeed the CEO of her company, is 40 years old, and is originally from Taiwan. Haven't seen this myself.
  • She says she runs this company with her brother in Canada and her father back in Taiwan. The details of the company were not clear to me.
  • They have exchanged photos but not video because her webcam is not working.
  • He is planning a trip to Los Angeles (from the East Coast of US) in a few months to meet her in person. She said her driver will pick him up at the airport.
  • No money has been asked for or sent, according to him.

This is obviously a scam, right? But, without there being an ask for money I can't figure out the angle and haven't been able to convince him to disengage.

It is either going to be an ask for money to help her overseas family or a "can't lose" investment in her company. I'm guessing she'll back out of the travel plans last minute so they never meet OR he's going go there and have his organs harvested.

Does anyone recognize this scam? What should we expect next? Has anyone else successfully talked their elderly loved ones out of one of these?

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[-] Crozekiel@lemmy.zip 20 points 1 day ago

It's a pig butchering scam. She won't ever ask for money, she will just start drip-feeding "investment advice" that will typically direct him to an app in the Google Play Store (or Apple App Store) that is a full on fraud. Yes, they have complete scam/fraud apps in the legitimate app stores that look like legitimate investment apps (but sure Google, you have to block side-loading to keep your customer's safe - fucking frauds all the way down...).

Your dad might already be on the hook for thousands thinking he is investing and making a huge return. The victim doesn't know they are in deep until they try to pull the money out and find out it doesn't actually exist. None of it. Not their "profit". Not their original "investments". He doesn't think it's a scam because he didn't send her any money. He just thinks his new friend (or girlfriend) is giving him tips and he is investing with a "trusted" app from a "trusted" source - after all it is on the app store.

Get your dad watching Kitboga. Show him the Last Week Tonight segment on pig butchering scams (it's on youtube). I don't know what else to do, I don't know if there are any legal avenues that can help or not, unfortunately, until he knows he is being scammed. If the idea that a 40 year old CEO absolute smoke-show woman wants to DATE a 72 year old widower retiree isn't sending enough red flags to make him keep his walls up, it's going to be a hard battle to convince him.

[-] Redditisbollocks@feddit.uk 16 points 1 day ago

If she's CEO of a company, she can afford a fifty quid webcam to plug into her PC.

Never mind all the other red flags.

[-] SelfHigh5@lemmy.world 32 points 1 day ago

No one has a broken webcam in 2026. Especially if ahes supposedly a company CEO, like that is a solved-today problem if it was ever true.

Also unless your dad is also loaded, there’s not a ton of incentive for a successful woman in her early forties to start a romance with someone nearly twice her age, I mean that may sound awful but I’m a woman and that’s just pragmatic. A long distance gamble on a set of old balls? If she’s just in to older men, I’m sure there are plenty in a 10 minute vicinity, she doesn’t need to fw men on the other side of the country.

[-] kandoh@reddthat.com 13 points 1 day ago

May I be as delusional in my 70s to believe I can still pull a 40 year old for reasons that have nothing to do with money

[-] VoodooMischief@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 day ago

That “company” is the key part of the scam here. Your father will be asked to invest money in it for various reasons. Whether they’ll go for the “it’s a great deal” or “help me Obi Wan” angle is dependent on the mark.

[-] regedit@lemmy.zip 29 points 1 day ago

Others mentioned it, but this is a clear pig butcher attempt. I get them through text about twice a year. As soon as I politely ask them if they're trying to perform a pig butcher or ir they know what one is, they usually shut up.

Your father will lose everything if you can't convince him of this.

[-] Hasherm0n@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Lots of good info already, so I'll just leave a look to a good podcast episode on pig butchering scams.

https://darknetdiaries.com/transcript/141/

[-] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

It's easier to scam someone again rather than convince them they're being scammed.

[-] Crozekiel@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 day ago

Hold on, I think you may be on to a solution here... We just have to figure out a way to 'scam' these people in a way that cancels out the original scam and prevents / does no further harm.

[-] VinegarChunks@lemmus.org 4 points 1 day ago

Just throwing this out there. Maybe a good technique would be for OP to show his dad that he also gets these messages “whoops wrong number! By the way I’m an attractive foreign woman 20% younger than you, want to chat?”

I get these at least 3-4 of these a week. Surely seeing how common this is would make it clear, right?

[-] illi@piefed.social 22 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

This is definitely a scam, though I'm also confused by your dad traveling, usually that's other way around (and that's where "complications" happen where money is "needed").

Try to tell your dad what you expect coming - there will be complications and she will ask for money. Likely only a little at first, but the number will be rising.

Also, since they are impersonating (or acting like) a public figure, try searchig for the name online. Your dad is likely not the first (or last) that fell for this particular scam. Other people might be sharing stories with this person. There might be messages shared that people exchanged with the scammer - these will likely match those sent to your dad (the scammers usually have multiple people going at the same time). Use that - if your dad reads on the internet the exact message he got from his love interest, that hopefuly will ring some alarm bells. Though in the age of AI this might not be the case anymore, it's worth a shot.

Talk with your dad, ask how things are going and try to be vigilant for money being asked for. Try to poke holes in the stories but be gentle so your dad doesn't shut you out - he will likely not be that willing to listen. One way or another he will get hurt - you can just minimize the financial damage - or limit it to emotional only.

Good luck.

[-] Diurnambule@jlai.lu 1 points 1 day ago

Organs or rapture ?

[-] asbestos@lemmy.world 189 points 2 days ago

She’s probably going to say her car/something broke down and she needs money ASAP to meet him.
Also, lol @ CEO of a company that doesn’t have any device with a working camera…

[-] halcyoncmdr@piefed.social 71 points 2 days ago

This alone is enough honestly.

Every cell phone for the last 10+ years has a front facing camera and internet connection.

[-] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 39 points 2 days ago

Last time I saw that happen, it took all of 30 seconds to walk one office over and appropriate that laptop

[-] PonyOfWar@pawb.social 183 points 2 days ago
[-] bamboo 85 points 2 days ago

^^ This. here's a bit of the show Last Week Tonight going over how the scam works: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLPpl2ISKTg

[-] Curious_Canid@piefed.ca 19 points 1 day ago

John Oliver deserves a Congressional Gold Medal in recognition for all of his work. He has made a point of not only reporting on, but actively antagonizing, bad people in positions of power and bad corporations. And he's managed to be quite funny while doing it. The man is a national treasure.

[-] laranis@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 day ago

Appreciate this. Seems right on the money.

[-] vivalapivo@lemmy.today 9 points 1 day ago

Have him watch this!

[-] vivalapivo@lemmy.today 41 points 1 day ago

No organs will be harvested: he's too old for that. But it doesn't mean he won't be butchered: he will be butchered like a pig

The meeting will be called off last minute and it will either be a shady investment or ill father in South Asia.

It is utterly important for you to stay with him and plan this through, as it seems like he already trusts the scammer more than you. You are losing him.

[-] CallMeAl@piefed.world 120 points 2 days ago

What should we expect next?

Likely she will cancel the trip at the last second and claim to have a work or family emergency. Then she will need money.

Or shortly before the trip she will share an investment opportunity and offer him to join her in it. It will turn out to be fake.

Or both.

[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 24 points 2 days ago

Hey now. There's also the "lure someone to a remote location, kidnap him, and beat him up until he transfers you a bunch of money".

[-] CallMeAl@piefed.world 35 points 2 days ago

That's very unlikely. These romance/pig butchering scammers operate from outside the USA and have no interest in attracting the kind of attention such an attack would bring.

Planning the trip is almost certainly to build trust and make the relationship seem real. All with the goal that the target willingly gives the scammer the money. If he goes to Los Angeles after she cancels, there will be no driver to pick him up.

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[-] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 day ago

Your Dad's a moron and probably a "whale" in scammer databases.

[-] laranis@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 day ago

It is hard to defend his behavior, certainly. But I think I'm coming to grips with the toll aging takes on people. The man who raised me was no idiot. But this frail, lonely, isolated person is not who he used to be.

There's a reason these scams target who they target.

[-] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

Loneliness is difficult to deal with, especially if you used to be married and are at an age where new people don't come easy any more.

One of the "death bed confessions" of my granddad was that he regretted never re-marrying.

[-] harmbugler@piefed.social 23 points 1 day ago

Just in case he needs some more red flags

Relationship expert weighs in on how many red flags are too many to ...

[-] fullsquare@awful.systems 72 points 2 days ago
[-] one_old_coder@piefed.social 57 points 2 days ago

One of my uncle is currently involved in scams like this one with multiple women at the same time. They all love him, they all want his money. Last time I checked, he lost most of his money and almost became homeless.

I hope you can do anything to your father because he will lose a lot.

[-] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 2 days ago

One of my uncle is currently involved in scams like this one with multiple women at the same time. They all love him, they all want his money.

that's awesome, that he's stringing them along and wasting their time

Last time I checked, he lost most of his money and almost became homeless.

oh... :/

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 39 points 2 days ago

Among your other points, a wealthy 40 year old CEO looking for romance is going to pick a guy below her age, not one who's 72.

Pretty sure the only organ they'll harvest is his wallet but they can cut pretty deep financially, and break his heart.

Know any real women who might make a better match for him?

[-] laranis@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 day ago

I think this is part of the problem. He doesn't have a strong social circle and most of what it had been had been her friends, now mostly lost. He's still pretty healthy but has other life situations keeping him trapped in place. Figuring out how to get him out of the house might be a good next step, once we can break him of this.

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[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

a wealthy 40 year old CEO looking for romance is going to pick a guy below her age

oh dude i have a surprise for you

people don't just want to fuck folk younger than them

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago

Okay I'll include her own age and maaaaybe up to 10 years older. But anyone aiming 30+ years older than themselves probably has a financial motive.

[-] ultranaut@lemmy.world 39 points 2 days ago

Scamming old people has grown into a massive and well organized industry that brings in billions in profits per year. It is a huge problem that has continued to get worse. As others have said, this is 100% a scam. They will inevitably use any number of techniques to extract money from him. It is very possible they already have and he just hasn't told you yet, it is not uncommon for the victims to be secretive about what the scammers are getting them to do.

[-] ChunkMcHorkle@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

Yeah, OP's dad has probably already gotten instructions to hide anything problematic.

"You know I wouldn't ask you to hide anything from your kids, but don't tell them about this one thing. It'll just upset them and they won't understand how it is for us"

[-] luthis@lemmy.nz 40 points 2 days ago

This is a scam. 1000%. Do what you gotta do to stop it.

[-] GenosseFlosse@feddit.org 14 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

A lot of people mentioned the broken webcam as evidence of the scam. I would add that modern AI tools can deepfake a video stream, apparently this already happens in other tech scams where the scammers immitate real people that have a LinkedIn account and existing online presence.

[-] Asfalttikyntaja@sopuli.xyz 10 points 1 day ago

And because her web cam doesn’t work, she might have use Linux.

[-] nodiratime@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Screenshot of Jamiroquai's - Virtual insanity music video, with lyrics reading "oh, now there is no sound" and a tux Just as ~~Nostradamus~~ Jamiroquai predicted

[-] IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 9 points 1 day ago

"her driver" will be a white van

[-] siv9939@lemmy.zip 32 points 2 days ago

My dad is on his third one of these. The first one eventually said she could help him buy Bitcoin at which point he realized it was probably a scam and stopped talking to her. I can't remember what happened with the second, but the third invited him out to the west coast so he could drive her fancy super car. I'm guessing before it gets that far she'll bring up money and he'll realize it's a scam again.

I'm not too worried about my dad yet because he doesn't get too invested in the whole thing and isn't one to send money to people, but I plan on bringing it up if he ever brings up sending money to, or visiting one.

[-] Suck_on_my_Presence@lemmy.world 20 points 2 days ago

Yep. My grandpa has lost everything after my grandma passed away. So many young women want him! And he could make so much money if he just buys some supplies! And this and that and scam scam scam.

I'd feel bad for him if he hadn't disrespected the memory of my grandmother so damn quickly after being sucked into these scams.

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[-] zd9@lemmy.world 24 points 2 days ago

web camera is not working

In 2026 that's the most obvious sign it's a scam. However even these days you can have live AI visual and audio filters.

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[-] Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca 19 points 2 days ago

Deepfakes combined with a romance scam. Pretend to be someone with a legitimate background that you father can verify himself, legitimised with synthetic images and voice (video isn't quite there in terms of reliable quality, so they stick to static images), some of which will even contain current dates/events and even his name written out, all to make it seem like a real person.

The scammer is playing the long con, building a relationship and slowly working towards a situation where your father wants to give them money, or even slips up and provides them with some sort of access to his accounts. It's not going to be sudden or obvious. They may not even ask directly, but craft a scenario where your father offers himself.

https://youtu.be/srr0rRgF2Fw

https://youtu.be/ACijyfS3ya4

[-] InvalidName2@lemmy.zip 15 points 2 days ago

Here's the thing: Even if she could do a video call, that doesn't really prove anything.

Having said that, she's 40 and she's a CEO. If her "webcam is not working" she has the means to rectify that quickly. Not to mention, there's basically no chance a 40 year old CEO of an international organization doesn't have a phone that can do video calls, let alone no laptop/device capable of it. It's pretty much going to be essential for that type of job. She'd buy a new laptop, new phone, get the existing stuff fixed.

Yes it's a scam. There are many variations of how these work and there's not always a one size fits all script. They'll say whatever it takes and it could be anything.

Some will ask for money directly. Some will lure the target into crypto scams. This general type of romance scam typically involves building trust over time, and then suddenly concocting an urgent situation requiring money. The idea is that they need help ASAP, and if the target doesn't act quickly, the scam artist is going to be in a lot of danger/trouble. For instance, she might claim that she traveled abroad and something happened (ex: lost passport, stolen purse) that requires lots of money now. Or maybe because she's stuck in another country without ID, she needs someone in the USA (your dad) to cover some bogus financial transaction for the company or they will face big fines/bankruptcy/lose the biggest client/etc.

Also, people who are being scammed often lie about whether or not they've sent money. Deep down they know they may suspect they've been taken advantage of and feel embarrassed/ashamed about it. Even people that you feel 100% would never lie to you about that, will lie about that up to a point.

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this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2026
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