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The timeline after the Harambe Incident
(discuss.tchncs.de)
OMFG! WHERE DID YOU GET IT??
Google lens is a fascinating piece of technology, anyways it was on Reddit
My neighbor's wife's dog's previous owner's dental assistant's husband somehow did the jump between timelines and told us about the timeline where Harambe didn't get murdered.
It's not at all what you'd expect, in the other timeline some Elvis impersonator from Vegas became president in the 2016 and his first order of business was to order ICE to detain all Beatles fans and deport them to England. The cost of the operation bankrupted the nation and for some reason everyone blamed Harambe. A crowd of 2500 people marched to the zoo and lynched Harambe. Doing so resulted in an economic boom but also released some sort of respiratory virus that spread worldwide and caused millions of deaths. A few years later that guy from the apprentice became president and the timelines converged into the same situation we have now.
In the end nothing changed except all the Beatles fans are in England now and they prevented Brexit so I guess that's pretty cool.
In the end nothing changed except all the Beatles fans are in England now and they prevented Brexit so I guess that's pretty cool.
Didn't I read something recently saying they were trying to get back in the EU?
I'm not sure, did you?
Well I have, now.
Unfortunately, in either timeline, there aren't going to be that many Beatles fans still around...
Might argue their timeline is worse then - that's 3 terms of trumpism rather than just 2
And now we know how many people a gorilla can fight off
It’s a shame the gorilla couldn’t beat off everybody
Ah, just rebase the good timeline onto the harambe branch
good luck rebasing 600 billion commits.
Caude, resolve my conflicts and push to prod branch.
Great job it just deleted the repo. We do have backups, right?
$ sudo rpm-ostree rebase -b fedora/stable/harambe
$ sudo systemctl reboot
is it a shitpost because its not the entire timeline?
Yes, funni
Is there a source for the full timeline???
Couldn't find it.
Thanks for trying! 😁
It all started December 26th 2015. Lemmy died. Two weeks later David Bowie died. Lemmy's death ripped a hole in the universe. The year of celebrity deaths started. Harambe died. Trump became president. It almost stared the day after Christmas 2025. That's where it all went wrong.
Does the lower point after the split say "Tide POC"?
I think it’s Tide pods - that brief few minutes where some Tik tok kids lost their minds and thought it would be awesome to eat soap.
sorry to do this to ya, but it was before tiktok was mainstream and the videos were on YouTube
I wasn’t sure which platform it started on, so I yield. My eating soap remark stands though.
Oh god, we truly are in the tide pod branch, are we?
But the Cubs won a World Series, so, worth it.
In the other timeline they win 3 back to back to back.
we shoulda been on that line to the D
this post was submitted on 29 May 2026
251 points (100.0% liked)
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