Looking for saphic BDSM starter guide (self.lascivious_lesbians)

submitted 6 days ago by SharkWeek to c/lascivious_lesbians@piefed.blahaj.zone

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/42631968

So, this is not for me, but for my wife ... long story short, she's never done this before, but has met a nice but very subby lady and wants to try some b/d d/s (but definitely no s/m).

I've tried talking her through, and demonstrating, some basic stuff, but she said it's weird learning from me ... I've given her my old copy of Learning the Ropes, but outside of that everything I've found online seems to just be porn rather than an instruction manual.

Does anyone know of additional resources for this?

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[-] Pencilnoob@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton are joyful books exploring the world of kink!

The authors are poly lesbians who have been in the kink scene for decades. They even narrate the audio book which is great fun. The books are succinct and written with a lot of love and playfulness. Highly recommend them even for folks who are just curious at all.

They also co-wrote The Ethical Slut which is a great book for anyone in the poly scene!

[-] dumples@piefed.social 7 points 5 days ago

New Bottoming Book

New Topping Book

They are great books. Have fun!!!

[-] SharkWeek 1 points 4 days ago

Thank you!

I nabbed a copy of both already, so she has some homework to do (and she's much happier now knowing she has my full support, too)

I'm going to read the topping one as well, because it's been a while since I dommed, and maybe I have some bad habits or I can learn new tricks ... when I'm finally back home from working abroad in July I might go looking for a sub - talking about this has reminded me of how I used to enjoy it :-)

[-] dumples@piefed.social 1 points 4 days ago

Both are worth reading.

I also recommend Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns. It's definitely not sapphic specific (the man is the dom and women is a sub in the couple and they use that languages throughout the book) but got some more specific instructions. Tristan Taormino (who does a lot of sex positive books and activism) has one as well that's worth looking into called: The Ultimate Guide to Kink. Have fun

[-] SharkWeek 5 points 5 days ago

Oh fantastic - I knew about The Ethical Slut, but not the others :-)

Thank you so much!

this post was submitted on 13 May 2026

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