813
Hi, I'm Paul! (quokk.au)
submitted 2 months ago by restingOface@quokk.au to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
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[-] Mulligrubs@lemmy.world 172 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Thank you legal weed for getting rid of Paul.

Years ago, I recall having to hang out with Paul for hours to get my weed. He wouldn't just "do business", he was lonely and wanted someone to talk to. The grower was an old man that grew a single variety of weed (grapefruit), Paul included lots of stems and seeds and was short on weight besides.

THEN Paul got a girlfriend, I was so excited. FINALLY, I'm sure he'll want to conduct business quickly, right? Oh, wait, she's lonely too, and wants to chat about the Reptilian Royal Family.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[-] Mika@piefed.ca 50 points 2 months ago

Crazy how you people even meet Paul. In Ukraine 99% interactions were via stashes: pay someone in crypto so they reveal the location (lat/lon) of the hidden stash and the photos of where it's hidden. Then off you go treasure hunting.

No face to face contact this way.

[-] winkerjadams@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 2 months ago

Here in america you would get ripped off and be out of your bag and your crypto

[-] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

No, at the supposed location, a bunch of cops start to beat you while screaming "Stop resisting!", then shove you into a prison for labor purposes.

[-] Mika@piefed.ca 6 points 2 months ago

That happens but that's why you do your research and search the feedback on shops first.

[-] Rooster326@programming.dev 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

It's wild that this would be gibberish just 20 years ago.

What the fuck is a crypto?

How tf am I supposed to trust the drug man?

Send photos like in the mail? I don't want him knowing my address....

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

That might just be a cultural difference. In the US it was always one of four people: the Paul type (a weird loser who you had to hang out with), as shown elsewhere in the thread someone weirdly smart and competent who's doing it for some side cash usually in school, a friend who buys in bulk and sells to friends, or a professional who didn't want to spend any more time with you than you with them but is generally sketchy as hell and not who middle class people were buying an eighth off of. All of these were typically in person

[-] Blackmist@feddit.uk 6 points 2 months ago

Geo-cache drug dealing. What a world.

[-] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 months ago

I had a dealer like that once, he said it was too conspicuous when people stopped by for only 5 minutes. In hindsight he may have just been getting people to smoke him up.

[-] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 2 months ago

I had a guy like this once, except he was cool as fuck and smoked people up if they stayed and played Mario Kart. So, that's how I learned how to play Mario Kart lol

[-] Rooster326@programming.dev 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

The places most of them live didn't care about 5 minutes stops.

Also It's never a secret to the neighbors.

[-] CluckN@lemmy.world 65 points 2 months ago

Carl never made Jimmy listen to his SoundCloud album while he is forced to sandbag in Smash Bros to avoid Carl freaking out.

[-] Godort@lemmy.ca 40 points 2 months ago

You should find a new dealer, dude

[-] CluckN@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

Sheen also sold but he had a bloody 2 dollar bill that he would use to snort Purple Flurp. Carl was a much better option.

[-] protist@retrofed.com 52 points 2 months ago

When I was in college, this girl who was whip smart in one of my bio classes invited me over, and I quickly discovered she was a prolific weed dealer. Never in a million years would I have guessed

[-] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 31 points 2 months ago

There is now a physicist who used to be my weed dealer.

[-] v4ld1z@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

My highschool chemistry teacher turned out to be cooking meth. You think you know a person

[-] puppycat 10 points 2 months ago

i think i watched the show about him.

[-] barkybeak@lemmy.zip 48 points 2 months ago

I interviewed a drug dealer that has been in the field for over 25 years. He looks just a regular guy. Nice house. Two kids. A wife who works. You would have no idea this neighbor was a dealer.

He and I wrote a book together.

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 months ago

What's the book?

[-] LuigiMaoFrance@lemmy.ml 29 points 2 months ago

nice try fed

[-] Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 months ago

I worked with a guy with a similar story -- book included. Are you Canadian?

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago

it's a small world after all

[-] yesman@lemmy.world 42 points 2 months ago

There is a big difference between a "weed guy" and a drug dealer.

Show me a person who has 3 different kinds of weed, cocaine, LSD, and pills and I'll show you a scary person.

[-] glups@piefed.social 39 points 2 months ago

My coke dealer (I'm sober now) was a huge Trump fan. He loved to talk about it. He first told me the same day Trump said all drug dealers should be put to death, so not the most insightful person. He later fled the country to escape a domestic battery charge. Coke dealers, not great people.

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago

Coke dealers, not great people.

Yeah, gotta lock Santa up.

[-] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 17 points 2 months ago

Hey, that guy you're describing is sometimes just a really well spoken dude outside a concert venue with a backpack. It's not all sinister.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Stepping on someone's toes, are we? What kind of backpack do you use?

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago

Spoken like someone who never met a cool person with a backpack of goodies at a festival.

[-] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 months ago

I just keester it to get my stuff in past the gate check

[-] glups@piefed.social 3 points 2 months ago

Jansport Gang

[-] kieron115@startrek.website 16 points 2 months ago

A guy I worked with used to sell. I went over to his place one time and he had literally dozens of strains, just because he liked trying them but didn't smoke a lot. If you bought from him he would give you several different kinds and insist that you keep a journal of how different they all felt lol.

[-] itsjustachairmary@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

I mean, that's just kids really. The heavy hitters are selling crack, heroin, the really horrible stuff you know. Well maybe cocaine is also a bit sketchy but the acid guy isn't that bad right?

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Yeah no stick to the hippie dealers. 3 kinds of weed, LSD, and they've been thinking of growing a batch of shrooms and want to know if you're interested.

[-] zammy95@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Oh hey, I knew this guy too

He was terrifying

[-] Mac@mander.xyz 30 points 2 months ago

Yeah, that's called ✨propaganda✨

[-] Jaycifer@piefed.social 4 points 2 months ago

Thanks for putting that “monkey” back in my head for the next week.

[-] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 months ago

I know one that is now a monk of some sorts. He was addicted tho.

this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2026
813 points (100.0% liked)

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