these days young people are pressured to signal socially that they are not fully straight to belong to certain groups. If she's actually bi or not, only time will tell. Don't try to expect coherence from somebody still building their personality, preferences and identity when they are bombarded by complex social needs. Yaoi might or might not be connected to her preferences at all: lot of women like it because they can witness romance or sex in which they have no role, shielding them from the possibility of projecting themselves into the dynamic. Like lesbian porn for men, it takes away the anxiety of the imagined performance or the need to compare themselves with the actor.

I read an article, a few years ago, about yaoi ( or however that's spelt ) and the artists being gay, but the hugest fans in Japan of it .. are women.

Funny..

If I'm allowed to appreciate 2 women being in-love with one another, & there being NO male-ignorance in their relationship ..

why on Earth ought it be a problem if women want to have that kind of porn, with no women in it?

Who cares?

Really, who cares?

ALL porn is oversimplification: the words-porn ( wromances ) that women immerse themselves in, the visuals that us guys prefer, ALL of it leaves-out real-other, providing only oversimplified prop-ups for fantasy.

Take a good objective awareness of how we judge others, & see that oversimplification's intrinsic, until it wears-off, no less than 1/2 YEAR after we begin getting to know them..

1st one only knows their appearance..

Then one adds-in perhaps the sound of their voice, posture, attitude, style-preference, etc..

There's a meme about "you don't know somebody until you've seem them in financial-crisis, and being a casualty .. etc.

That's true.

Does anybody know their "partner" when they've never encountered their partner's core-reactions, raw, yet?

Not really..

So oversimplification's normal & all porn is, is specialized oversimplifications.

All the idiocy misframing everything..

Humankind couldn't outgrow the 1950's ( North American version ) until humankind experienced it, and outgrew it from experience .. moving-on to the reaction against it, the Women's Liberation decade..

It's the same with porn, but at the individual-level: outgrow it, finding the completeness in real someones richer, & then the oversimplifications become shallower & shallower.. less & less sufficient.

Denial isn't going to produce the result: it has to be outgrowing.

Were the world more authentic, outgrowing would be more normal..

Because fakery's normal, then fakery's more the frame-of-reference.

But again, who cares?

Women have equal-validity: they can fantasize on whomever they want: we guys oughn't be sooo insecure as to be "threatened" by what women play inside their minds, when fantasizing..

How the hell would us being insecure about things benefit us, or prove us to be somehow more "valid"??

It's idiocy.

Let women fantasize on whomever they want ( gender wise )

( I draw the line at underage, hence the limit put above: gender wise..

& of course much hentai is cartoon child-porn ) :

_ /\ _

Looks more like a friend problem

In fanfiction it's a big thing, called "slash" (look it up). I don't claim to understand the phenomenon. But the current trend seems to be slash between hockey players, and there's a TV show about that now.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. My wife is into homoerotic stories, but she's Chinese so the sexual side of the relationship is only ever alluded to, not shown openly.

The genre is called yaoi in Japan.

POV: I am a bi guy.

I don't give a shit that romantic or sexual... essentially hentai / eroge exists, of gay men.

Yeah, it probably often veers into being cringey, or astoundingly strange, and perhaps even veers into outright manipulative or toxic or even pretty fucked up...

But... thats kinda just how smut works.

And it obviously exists for other sexes and genders, and where you have roughly comparable amounts of cringe to genuienly fucked up.

Is erotica, in general, often fetishing its subjects?

Yep! A whole lot of it is basically fantasy/wish fulfilment, its rather rare to find erotic content that actually has... complex and compelling characters, a well orchestrated plot, is truly respectful of the subject matter, and doesn't lean heavily into tropes.

But its smut. The genre generally exists to get hot and bothered to, to be aroused by. It exists to make you horny, that's usually the point.

Maybe just make sure that you're actually aware that fiction != reality.

Don't take what the story presents as resonable things as automatically actually being reasonable things. Tons of erotic content exagerates things to ridiculous extremes. If you get a particular, specific notion about something from reading or watching some erotica... try to ground it in actual reality, study up on it (there's actually quite a lot of academic/professional discourse on these sorts of things), or, as you are doing here... ask others for their thoughts.

So, on that level, who cares?

But on another level... it is weird and controlling and immature to be angry at someone for not sharing the same preference that you do.

Its probably fine for this friend to like 'weird' stuff.

Its not fine for them to be angry with you for not liking it yourself.

Your friend is just confused about her own sexuality and is saying things that do not make sense.

If she is a woman... and only likes the idea of guys kissing other guys, but not women kissing other women... well she isn't bisexual then, because she doesn't like women kissing other women.

Or, maybe she is bisexual, and she is ashamed of this for some reason, and is just very loudly projecting this insecurity onto others.

It would be completely fine, either way, if she is attracted to only men, only women, or both, etc.

But ... she is saying and doing contradictory things that indicate basicslly she is unsure and insecure about her sexuality.

If she is like a teenager, that's honestly pretty normal.

But it also... is something that a person hopefully grows out of. She needs to figure her shit out, basically, and if she is going around being rude and demanding or aggressive to others... that's just not ok because it is her being rude snd aggressive snd demanding to others.

tldr: there's nothing really wrong that you are doing here, at least given the context you've given so far.

there is something wrong with friend being contradictory and aggressive about her preferences.

it is possible that she is in a kind of 'dual life' situation, where her living situation at home is generally more repressive and demands more conformity than she is comfortable with, so, when she isn't at home, she basically poorly counterbalances that with being overly assertive in other social contexts.

but that is just one possibility... there could be a whole range of other possible scenarios going on, but I would think that some kind of situation is occuring that is causing her to have trouble with or doubts about her own identity/sexuality.