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Anon blows his dad's mind (sh.itjust.works)
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[-] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 105 points 2 days ago

In case anyone was wondering: they're there in case you change your mind later on and want to transition. God left them there as a backup.

[-] hovercat 36 points 2 days ago

That was awfully nice of him, but then why does he always he sew up the vagina too? Kind of a dick move.

[-] Sunsofold@lemmings.world 3 points 1 day ago

a dick move

Heheh

It was a group project between the pantheons of old, Odin thought it was funny and Zeus was being dick. Everyone else was kinda okay with their suggestions though.

[-] BreakerSwitch@lemmy.world 25 points 2 days ago

He assumed giving good access to the prostate as a pleasure center in the ass was close enough and called it a day

[-] uniquethrowagay@feddit.org 2 points 1 day ago

Why not make it self lubricating though??

[-] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

Look man this entire sprint was only six days long and we had enough shit already planned, take your scope creep and shove it. Saliva works if you're dedicated enough and you're smart enough to invent Astroglide. Ship it

[-] flippinfreebird@lemmy.today 1 points 1 day ago

Spit and foreskin is all you really need

[-] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

him

he

Ahem.. are we assuming something?! Think about it.. if God made us in their image, God is a hermaphrodite with a split personality disorder. Thus males and females. This is basic stuff.

[-] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 4 points 2 days ago

I have a friend who is a vicar, and she tends to use They/Them for God, which I find interesting.

I also met a few people who use different pronouns for the Holy Trinity. She/Her tends to be either the Holy Spirit or the Father (the Father being She/Her seemed odd to me, but this person felt quite strongly that the Holy Spirit was They/Them, and that Jesus was He/Him).

They/Them tends to be used for either the Holy Spirit or Jesus (Jesus says "I am He" at one point, and the argument here is that this isn't Jesus saying his pronouns are He/Him, but rather that "He" refers to the entity who made Jesus — I.e. God).

He/Him tends to be used for Jesus or the Father.

Even amongst people who don't use pronouns other than He/Him for the Christian God or one of God's aspects, I've heard quite a few people argue that He/Him != he/him (and that They/Them != they/them etc.) and thus God uses neopronouns.

[-] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

I always tend to use 'they' when the gender is unknown. I read it somewhere long ago and thought.. wait.. why is this plural? And learned it is a gender neutral pronoun. I refer to everyone I don't know as 'they' now. God is more of an 'it' in my mind, but that's beside the point.

[-] hovercat 2 points 2 days ago

Could they just leave everything on there then? That would make things SO much easier.

[-] Sylence@lemmy.dbzer0.com 45 points 2 days ago

I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?

[-] xkbx@startrek.website 86 points 3 days ago

talk to him about non-nippulous topics, like football, or canned beer (do NOT mention draft)

[-] moseschrute@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 day ago

Help. What if I already mentioned draft

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago

Well now he's going to rant about Vietnam

[-] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

[-] ironeagl@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

What was Wenger thinking, sending Walcott on that early?

[-] certified_expert@lemmy.world 57 points 3 days ago

Or, say "hey how are your nipples" and when he says "what" you reply "what" too, to play with his mind. Then he will question wether the first nipple conversation even happened

[-] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 41 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I can get behind full-on nipple torturing someone’s dad. Constantly mispronounce words- refer to nickels as nipples as you pay for small items. Talking about your city should involve at least occasionally saying something to the effect of “I’m a big fan of this areola, but that one’s been sucked dry by greedy housing developers.”

Maybe cut the nipples out of your shirts. Definitely cut the nipples out of his shirts. Ask him whether he’s cold, glance down, and then adjust the thermostat without waiting to hear his answer.

Change your lock screen photo to a cropped version of this. Replace your light fixtures with boob lights and ask him to help tighten the nipples. “Just give them a twist, I’m begging you.” Serve him Vietnamese milk melons daily. In fact, every meal or snack has to involve dairy or dairy alternative milks.

Yeah, I think I could get this guy’s dad to cry within 2 days. 3 if he’s vegan.

[-] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

It’s a little nipply outside. What? I said it’s nippy outside.

[-] certified_expert@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago

Damn! That's far beyond what I was proposing... this took a dark turn... dark and pointy turn

[-] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Jesus Christ! Go back to waterboarding people in Gitmo, you don't belong in polite society!

[-] Junkers_Klunker@feddit.dk 5 points 2 days ago

Are you some sort of torture mastermind? Holy fuck 😂 even accounting for potential difficulties.

[-] Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 2 days ago

Football balls have nipples though.

It is where you blow them up with.

[-] D_C@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago

I've been using dynamite all wrong. It's no wonder I was kicked off the team.

[-] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 36 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Anon, both you and your dad are probably autistic.

[-] Paradachshund@lemmy.today 43 points 2 days ago

I know someone who this actually happened to! They're a vet and some woman came in saying her male cat had bugs stuck to him. When told they were nipples this woman literally said the same thing. 🤦‍♂️

this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2026
665 points (100.0% liked)

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