Kotlin seams fun
Related: Every Fn key on a keyboard is a missed opportunity! That's not fun at all!

okay, now i gotta figure out how to start a keyboard rave when i press fn
That's a cool looking keyboard!
Begs the question, what's the other shift key labeled!
Doesn't matter: Nobody uses right shift for anything but pinball games!
def (): is pretty nice
Edit: also as someone doing a bunch of CI work right now, Bash can GTFO (unless the alternative is whatever Windows is doing)
Nushell is pretty nice. It's the good parts of “what Microsoft is doing”, i.e. real structured data in a shell-like language and real error handling.
also better to type with one hand
You QWERTY people...
/jk
Colemak is great though
Not sure I'd call what bash has functions. They're closer to subroutines in Basic than functions in other languages, as in you can't return a value from them (they can only return their exit code, and you can capture their stdout and stderr). But even then, they are full subshells. It's one of the reasons I don't really like Bash, you're forced into globally or at least broadly-scoped variables. Oh, and I have no clue right now how to find where in your pipe you got a non-null exit code.
It's not a big problem for simple scripting, but it makes things cumbersome once you try to do more.
I really like bash when dealing with even somewhat advanced scripting. Like the 300 LOC scraper I have written over the past two days which horribly parses HTML files using grep | sed.
It's genuinely so much more fun to do this with Bash than, say, Python. I have once written a scraper using Beautifulsoup and I have no desire to do so ever again.
Honestly, only Haskell manages to beat Bash in how satisfying it feels when you manage to get something working well.

You're not forced into global forced variables, but they're the default. Use the local keyword in front of the variable declaration for nicely scoped variable.
It's not that cumbersome to do things like
local date=`date`
echo "$date"
but in all honesty the syntax sucks ass because it's not intuitive. If statements suck ass, passing variables has to be done via command line arguments sucks ass, switch statements suck ass, making structured data sucks ass (jq is nice though).
I agree with you that bash really sucks when you get to anything more than 10 lines and at that point I'd take literally prefer Dreamberd.
Functions are definitely not subshells in Bash, seeing as anything modifying the environment, like pyenv and such, is implemented as functions instead of scripts — specifically because functions are run in the same shell instance.
Unless 'subshell' means something in the vein of 'like a new shell, but not really'.
Anyone tried lisp? Looks something like this. ((()))()())))
Remarkable how if the parenthesis is shifted from lambda() to (lambda), people lose the ability to comprehend things.
funciton
Idk why but that's how I type it half the time.
Won't you take me to
funcitooon?
Won't you take me to
funcitoon.
You press c and t using the same finger, and i with another. So since you need to use the same finger twice in a row, also moving it a fair distance in between, your other finger just presses the button a little bit too soon, and that's how you end up with funciton
In the language Gulf of Mexico,
you can use any letters from the word "function" (as long as they're in order)
union foo () => ()
Naming
Both variables and constants can be named with any Unicode character or string.
const const letter = 'A'! var const 👍 = True! var var 1️⃣ = 1!This includes numbers, and other language constructs.
const const 5 = 4! print(2 + 2 === 5)! //true
This is a recipe for disaster I kinda wanna try
If you're unsure, that's ok. You can put a question mark at the end of a line instead. It prints debug info about that line to the console for you.
print("Hello world")?
Fucking sold, I was gonna learn rust but you've changed my mind
Kotlin also lets you do fun x() = y()
I have no idea why you'd need that especially since return y() is pretty easy, but... I want it!
(Actually, I guess a super simple way of overloading a method, like fun x() = x(defaultValue) could be neat)
default values is one of my pet-peeves after using Python regularly. I wish more languages would let you just do something like def do_thing(arg=default_value) without hoops like builder pattern, function overloading, or whatnot
Not exactly aimed at language keywords (although it is aimed at the language designers who decided abbreviations in keywords are acceptable):
I hate abbreviations in source code so fucking much. Reading is more of software engineering than writing. If you cannot be bothered to type a whole word because typing is hard for you, find a different job. Do not force others to engage in mental gymnastics to understand what the fuck a variable or function is supposed to mean.
There was a rather famous piece of software at my last job. Guy writing it wanted job security. A lot of the core variables of the application were named based on the sounds a helicopter made. God damn onomatopoeia variables. Pretty sure that shit is still in use somewhere.
I can't imagine writing something like that. Job security? Hah, I'd end up in an inescapable labyrinth of my own making if I named things something that wouldn't be obvious to my 3-months-later self!
Maybe that's the play: He intentionally confuses himself so it takes extra paid time to remember what the heck "SOISOISOI" does, compared to "Whopwhopwhop".
I get that but also can be kinda nice to have density so that you can read more of the program on a single display.
C++ has []{}.
(You can also add more brackets if you wish to do nothing longer: []<>[[]]()[[]]{}())
Then rust has ||{}
Sadly we can't add more complexity without adding an argument:
|_:&'_[()]|{}
Bash was derived by a team of criminally insane programmers in the bowels of a South American asylum so deep in the jungle no country can rightfully claim it as its own. It is the product of the demented keystrokes of the damned, possessing a singular logic so alien that its developers can hardly be said to be human at all.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
What, are we code golfing?
Sure. Use :(){ :|:& };: to score every hole-in-one all at once.
() => {}
JS:
() => {}
basic: def fn
C++ [](){} looks nice.
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