"The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races" --Homer Simpson (OK the quote was about getting out of jury duty but I think it fits here)

Ask to clarify if it's really a blow job interview like I thought I read.

I guess as the applicant, turn around and leave?

As the interviewer, also leave

Repeat everything the interviewer says back to them in Yosemite Sam's voice, but punctuate every sentence with "bitch!"

'My Myers-Briggs is NSFW'.

What a useless post.

Pull out a joint and start smoking it and ask if they want a hit

Show up naked

“Why do you want this job/to work here?” “I’m just looking for something interesting to do for a while, get out of the house a bit. This sounds interesting enough.”

They hear: I don’t need a job, I may not need money, I may already have a job, I’m not picky about where I work so I’m probably not planning to stay, I’m likely to be weird or high maintenance, I’m very likely to move on quickly if I’m no longer entertained, and most importantly, I don’t need this specific job so I won’t take abuse of any sort.

This does work to land food service jobs, though, because they don’t really care. They gain and lose staff so frequently that if you just aren’t a complete shitshow you’ll get the job.

Fart into an airzooka and shoot the fart at the interviewers.

If I'm genuinely speed running this and don't have consequences is probably drop slurs followed by multiple, conflicting extreme political opinions involving violence and the like. The goal is that even if you find a racist who is excited about your slurs you can hit 'em with extreme progressive takes like "kill all men" or something.

Worst case, after saying a bunch of bad things and conflicting opinions they'll probably still just think you're odd.

A better but boring answer, just say "nevermind, I don't want this job" first thing. lol.

Don't break eye contact during the entire interview and refuse to speak. Write all your answers on paper and slide them to the interviewer upside down.

I'll pick up a chair and throw it out of the window, start screaming "fuck you!" at everyone in earshot, and then whip out my dick and start pissing all over the place.

If they still hire me after that, I will work there until I retire.

Just keep trying as hard as I can

I’d pull a Hal Incandeza and just sit there. When they ask my why I’m not speaking, I’ll just start screeching, making weird faces, and writhing around.

Pick my nose and wipe it on the interviewer's desk, and acknowledge nothing.

All I’d have to do is turn up.

Shit on the table, then yell at them to clean it up.

Whatever I've been doing for the past year, apparently.

Go for the hand shake and then pull a Hitler salute.

I actually did this. Maybe not within thirty seconds or so, but I was applying for a higher level position (above my current classification) at a collections agency. Was kind of sick of the grind but others thought I should be promoted, but interview was required first. I basically told them over and over that if they paid me the right salary I'd do the job. They were not impressed, and my then manager had a few words for me the next day. Oh to be young and not having a care in the world. I also knew I had a different career path in mind, so I wasn't interested in staying either.

Ask to borrow a pen. Throw it at the interviewer's head. Ask to borrow a pen...

How much for getting hired ?

I’ve had 4 interviews since June where I withdrew myself from consideration in the middle of an interview. I didn’t bomb; just decided the company wasn’t for me.

You can always just say “I don’t think this is the right fit, I would like to withdrawal from consideration but thank you for your time.”

Shortest interview was about 4 minutes, not quite 30 seconds, but it would have been about 30 seconds if he showed up on time. When a CTO shows up late, wearing a t-shirt from their home office while I’m interviewing for a 100% on site role, that’s business casual attire; I’m not even wasting my time talking to this dude.

I went to an interview for a company in the west coast and I was in central time. the recruiter told me that they had core hours and I'd have some flexibility. one of the first questions was whether I was willing to work Pacific time, which I wasn't, especially since it wasn't the best paying job in the world. That interview lasted about 30 seconds.

Blow a job. Remove the a. Instant fail and a felony.

So, how many holidays are there and how much are you offering, if I decide I'm interested?

"Hey, were you at that BDSM orgy the other night?"

"Before I answer any questions, tell me about the real pay package, bonus structure, vacation and sick days and promotions schedule. I also have to warn you in advance that I have flight booked to Barbados next month so we can count that as a signing bonus."

Start by asking how many paid days off and what is the drinking policy on the job