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Kid Names (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
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[-] LilDumpy@lemmy.world 71 points 2 weeks ago

Dr. Marijuana Pepsi wrote a whole thesis on unique names.

[-] humanamerican@lemmy.zip 17 points 2 weeks ago

Cannabis Coke is way more badass

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[-] SpoopyKing@lemmy.sdf.org 49 points 2 weeks ago

One of my favorite court transcripts is Sheppard v. Speir.

The Court:  All right.   Now, do you have some objection to him being renamed Samuel Charles?

Sheppard:  Yes.

The Court:  Why? You think it's better for his name to be Weather'by Dot Com Chanel-

Sheppard:  Well, the-

The Court:  Just a minute for the record.

Sheppard:  Sorry.

The Court:  Chanel Fourcast, spelled F-o-u-r-c-a-s-t?   And in response to that question, I want you to think about what he's going to be-what his life is going to be like when he enters the first grade and has to fill out all [the] paperwork where you fill out-this little kid fills out his last name and his first name and his middle name, okay?   So I just want-if your answer to that is yes, you think his name is better today than it would be with Samuel Charles, as his father would like to name him and why.   Go ahead.

Sheppard:  Yes, I think it's better this way.

[-] Tonava@sopuli.xyz 16 points 2 weeks ago

That was a wild read, thanks for sharing. I'm so glad the kid had a father that cared, and that he got the custody and succeeded in changing that name!

[-] weariedfae@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago

Read the whole thing. That was wild. I think, alone, Weatherby (said together) isn't the worst name I've ever heard but all the rest is cuckoo banana pants. Based on what came out of the court proceedings that woman had some PROBLEMS.

[-] deepfriedchril@lemmy.world 47 points 2 weeks ago

Did these casuals even check if xXPussySlayer42069Xx was taken?

[-] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

Been taken since the early 90s. I've always been proud of my username/email I've been using since 96. No numbers or anything. (Not this name by the way)

[-] turdcollector69@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

I choose to believe this is the real xXPussySlayer42069Xx

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[-] Zink@programming.dev 42 points 2 weeks ago

When choosing my son's name I had two rules:

  1. No super popular top 10 or 20 name. There were plenty of very popular choices that I liked as names. But, I figured let's try to find something at least a little unique for various reasons.

However!

  1. They shall not need to spell their name every time they tell it to somebody. This implies a few things, like choosing an established first name people have heard before rather than making something up, and using the common spelling of that name.
[-] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

This seems rational and thoughtful.

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[-] djsoren19 35 points 2 weeks ago

At my job, I come across a lot of children's names. So many, that I can actually sympathize with parents who want an odd name. Names are supposed to be a unique identifier, so if you wanna name a kid "Revolution Fighter" or "Czarlanda," I get it. I can certainly find a kid with that name in our databases faster than I can find a "John Anderson" or an "Adam Wu."

What really kills me is parents who name their kids a normal sounding name, but with an insane spelling. I'm talking like "Shelley" spelled "Schelei" or "Alexander" spelled "Alexzander." You're not being clever or cute, you're just going to make your child's life unnecessarily harder as they have to spell their name out every. single. time.

[-] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

We still have about 5 years before the first wave of incorrectly-spelled Khaleesis start showing up at county courthouses en masse.

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So many people don't understand that children are people and people have rights. You are responsible for your children, you don't own them. If you don't like that, simply don't have kids.

[-] Comrade_Spood@quokk.au 16 points 2 weeks ago

To the people downvoting this, you are the problem.

Children are people, not your property. You owe your kids a loving, caring, and supportive environment because it was your choice to have them. They did not choose to be born, they did not choose you as parents, they do not owe you anything. If you treat them well, they will support you and love you. If they do not, then you did something wrong.

If you think your children owe you anything, don't have kids and go see a therapist.

[-] Davel23@fedia.io 24 points 2 weeks ago

Actor Rob Morrow named his daughter "Tu". "Tu Morrow". Seriously.

[-] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Actors are notoriously dumb. I'm friends with a famous person and it's sad when you realize they're usually just surrounded by people kissing their ass and afraid to tell them no, you're wrong. People are so shallow they'll agree with anything if it keeps them in their company. No one is truthful around them. One of the reasons we got along was my "ability" to be real with him, as if that is actually a talent i have or something. Truly sad that people think so much of celebrity when they're just people.

[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 8 points 2 weeks ago

Better than naming her “2” I guess?

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[-] SandroWolf@feddit.org 23 points 2 weeks ago

Is Vagina an acceptable girl's name?

[-] WalrusDragonOnABike@reddthat.com 21 points 2 weeks ago

Only if you shorten it to Vaggie.

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[-] humanamerican@lemmy.zip 14 points 2 weeks ago

Pronounced 'Va-hi-na'

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[-] Hikermick@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago

It's a child not a vanity plate

[-] Signtist@bookwyr.me 19 points 2 weeks ago

As of last week I've now met 2 different people named Abcde, pronounced ab-sid-ee. Nice enough sounding name, but just the worst spelling.

[-] save_the_humans@leminal.space 15 points 2 weeks ago

"If had a nickel for every person I've met named Abcde, I'd have two nickels. Its not a lot, but its weird that it happened twice"

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[-] hash@slrpnk.net 17 points 2 weeks ago

This is where I bitch about my white people Utah name but I'm not willing to dox myself.

[-] titanicx@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 weeks ago
[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 weeks ago

I live in Utah and feel this so much. I have kids in school, and when they tell me their classmates' names, I just feel sad. So many awful names...

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[-] howrar@lemmy.ca 16 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I know someone with relatives in China where they gave their kids nicknames that roughly translate to "first baby", "second baby", etc. They're all middle aged adults now and they're still addressed by the same nicknames. So you have kids listening to their grandparents talk about "second baby" and imagining a baby, but then you meet them and it's an old man.

[-] stray@pawb.social 15 points 2 weeks ago

A number of traditional names the world over are literally "first son", etc. Not to mention all the names that mean "so-and-so got me pregnant with this one." Normal names are only normal because we're used to them, not because they aren't made-up bullshit.

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[-] turdcollector69@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

We need to normalize naming ourselves, why should we let someone who doesn't know us yet decide what we should be called forever?

I get you've got to be called something but there's no reason we can't decide something else later.

[-] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I think you can change your name in most places

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I attended my kids award ceremony (he's 10) and there were multiple girls ages 11 and 12 called Khaleesi and I shook my head

[-] stray@pawb.social 10 points 2 weeks ago

I get naming your kid after a cultural figure, but it drives me nuts that so many people believe her name is khaleesi.

[-] MountingSuspicion@reddthat.com 10 points 2 weeks ago

Plenty of people might actually think that, but Prince, Queen, Princess, and different variations in different languages are common enough names already. It's possible plenty to most of those people just like the title and know it's not her actual name. Not directed at you, just some people might not realize that the phenomenon was popular before GoT existed.

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[-] Fleur_@aussie.zone 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I do not understand the "no popular names" rule that some parents seem to live and die by.ust be a recent thing too right, I feel like so many people in the past were named after a relative that the parents admired.

[-] shneancy@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

its quite simple - they want their child to be special and/or they want their child to make them special

[-] Jiggle_Physics@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 weeks ago

That, or they grew up in a situation like me where I knew 14 people named Mike, 8 named Peter, 12 Jacobs, and 9 Anthonys.

I was always glad my parents chose an uncommon name for me.

[-] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 10 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah jiggle is an odd name.

I'm a third of my name in a row

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[-] sundray@lemmus.org 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Yeah, bring back normal, traditional names, like: "Job-raked-out-of-the-ashes" and "Wrestling."

[-] planish@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Do you know about author Naomi Novik's daughter, Evidence?

"Faith" and "Credence" are nice and all, but "Evidence" is better.

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[-] FilthyHands@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 weeks ago

I met a couple who named their daughter Grendel, because they thought it sounded nice.

[-] felbane@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

She better stay the heck away from Denmark.

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[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 10 points 2 weeks ago

There was a kid in my school with the surname Pann. His parents named him Peter...

They know what they did...

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[-] laranis@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 weeks ago

Worst I've seen: Shithead

Pronounced: Shih-theed

Spelled: Shit head

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[-] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 weeks ago

I wish I was named kitchenaid whiskey jones

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[-] Atkat@leminal.space 8 points 2 weeks ago

Hm...I don't know. I think terrible names are popular enough presently that when the generation being born right now is school-aged, a McKeinsleigh will probably need to use a last initial in class to not get her confused with the other one(s).

[-] SaraTonin@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Very much this. The people who make these kinds of posts forget that this is how names are invented and evolved.

People who complain about what can be termed “Tragedeigh” names seem to be fine with “Kayleigh” and “Ashleigh”, despite both being a later variation on “Kayley” and “Ashley”, with the former not becoming popular until the 80s - and because of a song, at that.

In general, people have a very hard time with the idea that language in general, and names specifically, evolve over time. Whatever was commonplace until they reach, say, their 30s is what’s “right”. Any variation after that is “wrong”. When, of course, it was just as mutable when they were young and before they were born, but they weren’t around for the latter and were equally mutable when they were themselves young.

There can often be an unpleasant class/race undertone to it as well.

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this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2025
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