Bag of Communal Holding
Content is shared with all other bags of communal holding in existence. Sometimes retrieving objects involves awkward hand contact if someone else is using their bag at the same time.
Not accidentally holding a strangers hand. This is the worst one by far.
A potion of True Healing... heals 1d8+2 damage, recipient MUST truthfully answer the next question they are asked. Sell the characters 6, but don't tell them about the truth serum. Let them figure it out on their own.
Boots of Elvenkind... except Elves can hear you.
A bag of holding that contains infinite clowns. Every time it is opened, 1d4 clowns come out. The clowns are useless in combat and attempt to distract, annoy and mock the holder. While this could be used as a distraction, the clowns will follow the holder, drawing attention to them. You could create a table for what kind of clowns you get (mime clowns, pie throwing clowns, balloon animal clowns, magician clowns, etc). The clowns will wander off after 1d6 minutes. Where the clowns go and what they are (Illusions? Demons?) is unknown.
I have two I will be using in my next campaign:
Ring of attunement: Provides 1 extra attunement slot. (Requires attunement)
Event Staff: This staff allows the wielder to gain unquestioned entry into any "employees only" areas or zones otherwise off-limits to the public. Anyone (including actual staff or other officials) who sees the wielder in one of these areas will assume they are a known employee or other official who is granted special access to the area. Unfortunately, they will all also view the wielder as the least competent and least trustworthy employee or official with the organization. Any actions taken in the area are likely to be closely watched and highly scrutinized by any observer who would know better.
ETA: One from the current campaign in which I am a player character. Our DM thought of this one:
Bullet of Healing:
This magical bullet can be loaded into any firearm. Whomever is shot by this bullet first receives 1d6 piercing damage followed by 1d10 healing. If the initial damage causes recipient's HP to fall below 0 before the bullet's healing effects begin, they will fall unconscious and will not gain any healing effect from the bullet. Instead, one death save is automatically passed.
That bullet of healing is awesome. Would be great for a supernatural Wild West game. Which, is I think what I want to run next now.
Riffing off the ring:
The Hand of Holding. When held, it can hold items for you and allow to use them with whatever ability you would normally have. Technically helpful in slightly extending your reach, and depending on the niceness of the GM may also mitigate curses or other effects that are triggered by holding the item, since you technically aren't. You are still essentially wielding, using, and various other verbs-ing the item, so those still hamper you.
I played a campaign where we had a dagger of healing. It worked great against undead (as intended by the DM) and also to torture information out of people (not intended by DM).
Sir Mix-a-Lot (unrelated) is a traveling potion salesman who shows up for my party at suspiciously specific times, and generally has discounted potions specifically tailored for whatever they happen to be doing at the time. For example, if they need to be really strong, he'll have a bottle of Sir Flex-a-Lot's Magical Muscle Maximizer, which does increase the strength of one's muscles, but not of their bones or connective tissue (it was designed to be used only in bodybuilding competitions), so whenever the drinker does a STR check, they must also make a CON saving throw to avoid breaking a bone or tendon. Need to decipher an ancient text? Try Sir Scripts-a-Lot's Polyglottal-in-a-bottle, which will let you read unknown languages, but also comprehend all unknown languages, even those of the plants and animals around you, making it very difficult to concentrate on any one thing. (inspired by https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/springtime)
Pathfinder 2nd edition's rogue class has an ability chain that allows them to have already bought certain kinds of item, and they declare it while on the adventure already and decide they need it. "Oh yeah, I bought a spyglass when we were in that last town." The lowest level is for adventuring gear-type stuff, and it's usable like once per in-game week. Later tiers of it expand the kinds of items and the frequency. You do also mark off the gold the item would have cost.
Ring of invisibility. Makes you invisible, but makes everyone else invisible to you as well.
Ring of (Logical) Invisibility v2. Makes you invisible except for your eye balls so that they can absorb light. You may now see but you appear as a pair of floating eyeballs.
V3, your eyeballs are only visible when your eyes are open.
But people can see your footsteps cartoon style
If light travels through you then you would not leave a shadow.
Does glass leave a shadow?
Invisibility implies you are more transparent than glass...
Ring of minor invisibility - The ring is invisible, and only makes your body invisible, not any of your stuff
Ring of protection. Grants everyone around you protection in a fairly large radius. Might be useful for long range combat, maybe. Might also be useful to navigating certain environmental hazards.
Boots of Flying. They can fly, but only have a carry weight of a few pounds. If you're more than say ten pounds, the little wings flap but gain no altitude. They are not autonomous. Might be useful in condunction with other magics to reduce weight.
Gauntlets of Ogre Might. Do not affect strength. They do tell you the odds of nearby ogres taking particular actions. They might do this, they might do that, and so on.
Hammer of Striking. Social bonuses when organizing labor. Combat bonuses only when near many allies.
Boots of Haste. Gain extra actions but large penalties to all checks. Haste makes waste. May be useful if combined with large bonuses or fixed outcomes (eg: DND diviner wizard).
Hammer of Striking. Social bonuses when organizing labor. Combat bonuses only when near many allies.
Pair this with the Sickle of Means. Does double damage and gives Ranger favored enemy bonuses against employers, nobility, land owners and clerics, so long as the wielder forswears ever becoming any of those things. When used to harvest grain, doubles the speed at which grain can be harvested and magically doubles the final yield of the harvest as well. However, if the grain is not freely and equitably distributed (especially if the wielder charges for it), the next time they use the sickle they will immediately fumble and critically hit themselves for max damage.
Wand of Fireball: has a medium chance of shooting a stream of cinnamon whiskey.
Imagine if they rolled the whiskey thing whenever they tried to use it. Then at the local tavern "SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!"
(Dice clatter)
TPK.
Sword of charisma: But it attracts bugs for some reason.
Amulet of protection: Stops heals too.
Boots of speed: Brakes not included.
Wand of light: Slightly radioactive.
Potion of restoration: Removes buffs as well, kills undead.
There was an older barbarian subclass that was immune to magic including beneficial magic. It was dumb and wonderful
Band of Gorilla Repair: Once per day, can repair anything, or rather, will summon 1d4 (can be modified depending on the size of the job) massive gorillas who show up seemingly out of nowhere whenever anything near the wearer breaks or is heavily damaged. The gorillas can repair anything.
Those not expecting to see a bunch of repair-happy gorillas must make a fear check.
These mysterious gorillas are actually friendly and fix whatever thing was broken, but beware, their patience quickly runs out for anybody intentionally causing disrepair or destruction in their presence!
Leaky alchemy jug.
Whenever you use this jug roll a d100. This is how many percent of your choosen liquid are replaced by mayonnaise.
Circlet of human perfection, but the creator had a really niche fetish.
Wand of wishes. It's great, but it will respond to any speaker in the vicinity
Bead of (Uncomfortable) Nourishment: Standard effect, but must be taken nasally. Oral absorption may cause permanent magical flatus.
Bag of holding, but everything that goes in comes out a crocheted plushie version.
I just thought of the most evil shit you could do with this.
They buy the bag and it comes preloaded with a couple lil crocheted trinkets that are cutesy and like grandma made it for adventurers. A lil mealkit, a ration pack, a lil sword and shield but also a doll. As they slowly start to realize what the bag does they remember the doll and start freaking out about what if it was a person who went in there to hide and got turned and we gotta fix 'em! Ends up being a whole quest line to unfuck the bag, the bag items and specifically this doll. At the very end they undo the doll and it turns into a wooden doll. Then when laughter/disappointment just getting to the right point, have the doll talk. Get the joke of it being a doll and they get the expectation they wanted of it being a living being they saved.
Sword with fire enchantment, fire has no regulator and cannot be turned off.
Immovable Rod: Only one end of the rod is fixed in space, the other end swings freely.
Immovable Rod: when activated, it becomes fixed in its position in space, ignoring the motion of the planet. The moment it's activated, it flies off into the sky or through the earth depending on the time of day, destroying everything in its path.
Potentially extremely useful with a lot of planning, once.
Oh boy, now we run into the problem of "there is no such thing as a neutral universal spatial grid/position". Since all position is relative, perhaps pressing the button locks it in place relative to the sun instead of the planet? Maybe this special version is marked with a sun symbol, if you're lucky.
Also note that Immovable Rods typically have a maximum weight or Strength check that can either cause them to deactivate or move them or whatever. 8,000 pounds and DC 28 Str come to mind from one or another version, so this probably wouldn't tear through the whole planet, but it could still rough up some buildings and moderate rock.
Scroll of summon wisp.
When used nothing appears, but you gain a speech impediment for 1d6 days.
The "Sword of Instant Regret". It does 100% DMG, but only stabs the wielder.
Cloak of Levitation, but it just lets you float a foot off the ground without moving.
Hulk Strength, but dumber than Hulk. You smash anything in the area, including your supplies/allies/horse...
Cap of Invisibility, but you can't see anything either.
Not quite the same, but a Paladin in a campaign I was in once bought a Shield of Missile Attraction for cheap because the shopkeep thought it was cursed.
I hope while they were walking around, a projectile would just donk right into their shield on occasion, just to keep them on their toes. :)
Sword of ghostly might: One owned by a powerful warrior who came back as a vengeful spirit. Neglects to mention that the sword is also a ghost, and therefore can only deal damage to spirits.
Potion of Water Breathing: DOES NOT RETAIN AIR BREATHING
Scroll of Gorilla Warfare. When used summons 15 gorillas. These gorillas are wild and do not obey orders given by the caster.
Invisibility potion that turns your digestive track and stomach contents invisible.
Flail of Flatulence: deals an additional 1d4 of embarrassment to the target while dealing 1d4 of gas damage to everything within 6 meters.
Broom of Flying Yes its a broom that allows you to fly
No one ever said anything about landing The broom cannot come down lower than 30 feet from the ground. Dismounting will stop the broom and allow you to pick it up, as long as your concious from the fall
Sweaty Sword:
Really good sword, strong steel. The handle is wrapped in living leather harvested from the palms of a cursed pervert. It's always slightly warmer than your hand and it exudes a sticky substance that enhances grip. Smells like corn.
Survival Stew Balls:
A fried ball of...food. It's rock hard, slightly too big to hold with one hand easily, completely impermeable, and covered in a flaky, delicate panko breaded crust. To eat, boil one in 5 gallons of water to produce a pot of stew. The flavor is different for every ball. Never cook two in the same pot at the same time. Wash the pot thoroughly within 6 hours after removing from heat. especially if it's made of iron. Under no circumstances are you to reheat the left overs.
Emergency Shews:
Bubble gum that turns into one time use sandals. Once the flavor runs out, you have 30 seconds before the gum expands into shoes. The sizes seem to have been printed on the gum but they've long since faded or rubbed off. Durian flavor.
Dead Cat Bounce:
A black bottle with a cat eye painted on it. If you drink the contents and die due to falling from a great height, you will be revived immediately and launched with equivalent force in a random direction.
Humor, jokes, memes about TTRPGs
