one of my mother's more unhinged rant topics was women intentionally keeping children away from their fathers as revenge for him breaking up with her and that if they don't have the maturity to get married and stay married then they shouldn't have children etc etc. She also talked mad shit about people who take government assistance to care for their children when my disabled sister has always been on as many benefits as my mother could get approved (she had good reasons though, unlike those lazy "other" people... 🤔)

ime I have seen mothers use their child coercively but it's not usually by keeping them from the father, at least not successfully. It turns out family court actually favors fathers if they bother to pursue custody, which few do without a strong reason, either good or bad. It's usually been women using the children to coerce family, friends, or a new partner into staying by getting them to bond with the child then being able to actually remove the child from them since they have no legal rights to the child. And I think the only reason I haven't seen fathers do it more is because, as stated previously, many don't pursue custody due to either internal or external expectations that childcare is the mother's job.

Even the idea of "raising a child by themselves" is variable. Separated parents often collaborate very well in raising children "together".

The term "single mother" (or single father) doesn't even really indicate custody. It's a hangup on not being in committed a relationship.

I have heard it. Some people feel better about themselves by looking down on others.

I genuinely don't know anyone that uses it as a pejorative.

It's also sadly the case that many "absentee" fathers are in jail for victimless crimes and/or serving disproportionately long sentences, especially as the targets of racism.

Erin Patria Margaret Pizzey CBE (born 19 February 1939) is a British men's rights activist and novelist known for her advocacy on behalf of both men's and women's rights and for her work against domestic violence. She is recognized for founding the world's first and largest domestic violence shelter in the world, Refuge, then known as Chiswick Women’s Aid, in 1971.

Pizzey says that she has been the subject of death threats and boycotts because her experience and research into the issue led her to conclude that most domestic violence is reciprocal, and that women are as capable of violence as men. These threats eventually led to her exile from the UK. Pizzey has said that the threats were from militant feminists. She has also stated that she is banned from the refuge she started.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erin_Pizzey

yeah I thought "single mother" was already a supposedly better replacement for "fatherless", for exactly the reason you stated

Me too

"mothers of children of absentee fathers"

Why dont you contact the artist and discussing your your concerns with her?

Dead~~beat~~ Dads

I get that totally, I've been thinking about doing the same thing. I don't want to desert the cause though!

Notice the posts about witch stuff are largely ignored...

It’s an extra syllable. Sorry if we’re wasting all your precious time with a single mouth sound.

Interesting! I've never heard the male form used except specifically when talking about a male person. I'd guess it's a regional thing again (die/das Nutella anyone?).

But for the single mom/dad I've not heard that as a derogative in daily speech.

For me it makes sense to talk about a situation from the perspective of the people in the situation and not some circumstance.

“Single Mom” has become some kind of slur, understanding that correct?

Honestly it entirely depends on the context. Some see single parents as incredible superheros for how much they manage to balance everything and keep it all stable for their kids who are too young to be left alone. But also some use it as a put down, whether as slut-shaming, part of anti-poor rhetoric or there's the infamous "but where are the fathers?!" racial dogwhistle. Basically single parents are a convenient block of people to paint all sorts of different pictures of to push whatever narrative one might be trying to push