I'm reading this at 11pm so don't ask me

Have kids

Don't become a morning person.

Their time will come.

Drugs. No seriously. Functioning like a normal human requires drugs. Oh and lots of therapy. That helps two

This just happened naturally to me as I got old…

Here's the one trick that normies don't want you to try : Skip one night of sleep and go to bed exhausted between 8pm and 10pm with the curtains open.

I then started having a shower in the morning before work and playing 2 hours of games.

Have a child and work in a factory. That did it for me. I used to be a 2pm to 4am kinda person.

9pm: Welp, better start winding down.

10pm: dishes done, everything’s ready for tomorrow.

11pm: let me do one or two things on project #####.

1am: shit i need to wrap this up

4am: dangit

It was the fucking worst but I started waking up early every day and then I added running to it. After about 6 months I fully transformed into a morning person. The second I retire, I'm going back, I miss the night.

You need a job that starts at 7

Get a cat, play with the cat or give it a treat at 9 pm. The cat will enforce bedtime

Apparently, people really are divided into morning and evening people. This has an evolutionary benefit because the group has a shorter time without at least one keeping an eye out.

So... Genetic treatment.

The trick is to move to the right timezone. Simply figure where in the world your biological rhythms align, then move there. No need to worry about jet lag or alarm clocks. You will have the schedule you desire.

Picking up birding as a hobby is a great way to get up early. The best shots are right after the sun comes up and right before it goes down.

Honestly, they day just knocks it out of me. I'm literally in bed by 9:10ish and don't really fall asleep until sometimes around 10. Commuting an hour each way just really sucks any life out of me.

Resignment to the 9-5 life

I need to go to sleep at 10 so that maybe I can fall sleep around 11, and then the opposite issue in the morning.

I wish I could bottle or teach my ability to fall asleep quickly and completely. I'd be filthy rich. Sorry, everyone. I am the odd one out.

8 and 4, but.... I dunno

My body forces me to wake up at 6am and I hate it. The only classes I could take to fill out my degree mean I get home at 9, barely enough time to make dinner / clean the house / have free time AND get 8 hours of sleep. Doesn't matter if I go to sleep at 2am, I'll still wake up at 6 and feel like crap. Everyone I know acts like I'm a weirdo for hopping off a group chat to wind down at 9. The times I've been lucky enough to have a schedule that works for me it becomes clear that I'm the only alert person in the room at noon.

Y'all complain that you can't do anything in the morning without sacrificing your health. I wish I could take that instead of losing my evenings. Grass is always greener.