468
submitted 3 weeks ago by pep@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

I have 2 GOP parents, one that voted Trump originally and one that did not. Over the last 9 years, I have watched them both travel down the MAGA pipeline to become visibly fascist. The parents who taught me racism was wrong and to have empathy for others, have become openly hostile about immigrants, Muslims, and even parrot the Nazi "great replacement" theory.

Part and parcel with this, they refuse to have any discussions about the facts -- like immigrants not stealing and eating people's pets. They won't hear it, they won't even engage in the conversation...they just get angry and loud the second they hear anything that doesn't fit into the Fox News narrative. Can you relate? How are you dealing with it in your relationships with your parents?

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] vantablack 1 points 3 days ago

five years ago i cut those fuckers outta my life entirely and never looked back (despite their repeated attempts to stalk me after that)

[-] turkalino@lemmy.yachts 206 points 3 weeks ago
[-] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 111 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

My dad was always conservative listening to Limbaugh and other talking heads as long as I can remember. He was always casually racist but then everything was ramped up in 2016. It grew to a point that he joined Facebook and every post was truly horrific. Gleefully enjoying violence. He was convinced Michelle Obama had to be a man. Every crude meme he could find he reposted.

It came to a head when I realized that I'm passively letting him say all of this, while at the same time I have mentors and people I care about that he actively wants harm to come to. It became a true moral thing, by letting him just say all of this, I felt like I was saying it was okay.

So I told him that he could either have these posts on facebook and his hate or he could have a relationship with me, but that I couldn't have a relationship with him while he had this much hatred towards people I care about.

That was the last time I spoke to him, he never reached out after that. It's been 7 years now since I've heard from him. He knows how to get hold of me if he should ever choose, but I've never heard anything from him.

From the rumors, 1 by 1 he alienated everyone else in the family, even coming to a screaming match with his elderly mother as she asked him to please be calm. Last I heard he picked up a new MAGA girlfriend and moved somewhere in the rust belt away from all the libs in the Midwest. I have no idea where beyond that.

[-] pep@sh.itjust.works 54 points 3 weeks ago

I almost feel like it would easier if my parents would go full shitbag, then it would be easier to just not have relationships with them...my dad is a good dad otherwise, and my mom isn't bad, she kind of just acts like an angsty teenager. I want to have relationships with them, but I'm the full-on antifa super-solidier that Trump is trying to outlaw...the Venn diagram of things that are safe to talk about between us has a very small sliver in the middle...mostly, how's the weather?

[-] FrictionFiction@lemmy.world 42 points 3 weeks ago

Man, I feel you buddy. I really feel for you. My parents are middle of the road Democrats. They think they’re leftists but in reality they’re just Mitt Romney Bill Clinton types. and although they are not fascists, they are certain that positive change is just around the corner, none of this is too bad, the pendulum will swing back fully in the other direction in just a couple of years, just you wait.

They don’t seem to recognize that the pendulum has been dismantled and that the people in charge don’t give a shit on both sides. they get viscerally, angry, and upset when I try to point out to them that best case scenario America will take a generation to fix. And it’ll only get fixed if it’s filled with decent people, governed by decent people. And we all know that is not the case. So in reality, America will probably not get fixed in my lifetime. Maybe in my kids lifetime. My parents cannot understand that concept they think the good times are just around the corner.

I keep them at arms length I let them engage with my children and beyond that, it’s how’s the weather.

But I’ve also decided that because I don’t feel America can be fixed In a timeline, I find a reasonable as a relates to the raising of my children. I am leaving America.

i’ve already begun the process and my family and I will be moving near other family in a different country. Maybe my children will come back to these shores but aside from a few funerals I don’t think I’ll be back here.

good luck, buddy. We all need it.

[-] pep@sh.itjust.works 28 points 3 weeks ago

America will probably not get fixed in my lifetime.

Yeah. Reagan fucked The US for the last 40 years, and Trump fucked us for the next 40. If I were in a position where I could reasonably move to Western Europe, I would...I guess I'll just have to live vicariously through you. You're doing the right thing by your kids, I'm rooting for you/them!

[-] FrictionFiction@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago

thank you, that means a lot. But don’t give up hope. There’s lots of nations in Western Europe that have programs that allow for immigration and permanent residency. There’s also programs to immigrate to Canada, depending on what type of work you’re in. And if all else fails, There’s good lives to be lived in South America and Central America. You’re not trapped. It may take you five or 10 years, but you can do it. Don’t let the empire crush you in its gears.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[-] SuperEars@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago

It became a true moral thing, by letting him just say all of this, I felt like I was saying it was okay.

A thousand times, yes.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] bizarroland@lemmy.world 99 points 3 weeks ago

Well, one of them died of COVID-19 without telling me that they even had it, and I don't speak to the other one.

My dad did not tell me because he knew I would tell him I told you so when I was like, wear a mask, keep your distance, maintain safety protocols at all times, follow what the CDC is saying, treat this seriously.

It was literally weeks before the vaccine became available. Like if he had just, like, two more months, I would still have my dad.

[-] Carnelian@lemmy.world 51 points 3 weeks ago

Ah I’m sorry to hear that. My parent swung hard into the same propaganda and obviously ended up catching a severe case, multiple times in fact. Survived, but they’re like a totally different person now. Extremely hair triggered and aggressive, easily confused about things that always used to come naturally.

I think it’s literally a case of brain damage from catching the virus so many times. Been pretty awful to watch. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive the conspiracists. Sorry again for your loss, hope things are moving in a good direction for you and yours

[-] oddlyqueer@lemmy.ml 24 points 3 weeks ago

My parents were both... medium-core republicans. Didn't go to rallies or buy swag, but they weren't interested in non-R candidates or ideas. Dad died of covid before the vaccine was available. Pre-existing immune deficiencies. He was one of the ones they couldn't fit in the morgues because they were all full. My mom watched all this happen, still refused to get vaccinated, got covid twice (that she told me of) and died of "complications from asthma" two years after the vaccines were generally available. IDK what role covid played in her death but I doubt it helped much. I really don't know what I could have said to her if watching dad pass in isolation wasn't enough. I think about it a lot though.

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] bladerunnerspider@lemmy.world 21 points 3 weeks ago

You think he would have taken the vaccine?

[-] bizarroland@lemmy.world 35 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Yeah, he was pro-vaccine.

He believed in medicine, he just hated any politician that wasn't Donald Trump, and believed the news when they said that it's just a cold.

[-] West_of_West@piefed.social 68 points 3 weeks ago

My parents actually went the other way. They were very conservative while I was growing up until my mid twenties, and nowadays they are the complete opposite.

When they were conservative, I generally didn't bring up politics, but if it came up I didn't argue. I would just say I thought something was mean spirited and just shrug if they tried to argue. I think I accidentally psychologically fucked with them. I think being mean was against a core value of theirs and me repeating that idea slightly tweaked their thought process.

Eventually I started hearing the "mean spirited" comment from them as a reason they disliked a policy or conservative person. And they now vote for liberal or labour parties.

[-] pep@sh.itjust.works 26 points 3 weeks ago

I think that's what I'm going to have to do. Not sure if they care if something is mean-spirited now...will have to find out.

load more comments (3 replies)

I'm from the UK so my answer will be mostly UK centric.

My dad has become very right-wing in recent years. He supports Reform UK, he uncritically supports everything Israel does, he thinks that refugee boats should be sunk by the Navy without regard for the lives of the people on board. He hates LGBTQ+ people and thinks same sex marriage should be outlawed. He hates Islam and Muslims, and thinks that all mosques in the UK should be shut down. He wants the death penalty to return and for it to be applied very frequently. He thinks protestors and activists should be shot and killed by the police if they cause even minor disturbance. He thinks COVID was a hoax and that the vaccines are dangerous. He thinks Trump is great, except for his stance on Russia (my dad despises Putin).

It's very sad how far down the rabbit hole he's gone. I always thought of my dad as an intelligent man, because he was pretty accomplished academically and was always interested in science and technology. He always put logic before dogma and emotion.

But the shit he's been absorbing on the internet over the past 10 or so years has changed him entirely. He believes every far-right conspiracy going, and has a violent attitude towards everything, seemingly thinking that everyone that doesn't conform to right-wing standards should be harmed.

I don't bring up politics anymore, but if the topic does come up somehow, I will tell him why he's talking bullshit. In my opinion, social media and online propaganda has done a serious number on the psyche of older people. They fall for every lie hook, line, and sinker. It's made them fucking insane.

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] wewbull@feddit.uk 45 points 3 weeks ago

The solution will always be communication. You have to tell them that they are pushing you away; how they are hurting you; how you can't live with the hate.

Keep away from the talking points. Talk about your feelings with them. Talk about your fear that if they continue you will lose them. If they still care about you, the thought that they are causing you pain should be horrific to them. Tell them that you fear losing them to hate.

...but keep away from the facts. Don't try to prove them wrong. If they bring stuff up... "I don't care if that's true or not. It makes you angry, and full of hate, and I can't live with that level of hate in my life".

Share emotions. Don't worry who's right or wrong. It'll be hard, but that's the only way to start. Their rational brain is corrupted. It doesn't work and appealing to it won't work.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca 42 points 3 weeks ago

I'm fortunate enough to not have anyone that close to me become part of the cult. Those who have, I've just stopped reaching out. Though that may not be an option for you in this case.

The best advice I can offer is to try to understand what a cult is, and how to work with that situation. A cult like MAGA is inherently irrational, so trying to win people over with rational arguments doesn't work. Here's one resource for how to talk with people like this.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] RoquetteQueen@sh.itjust.works 36 points 3 weeks ago

Don't let them have any peace with those opinions. My mother became a cop when I was a kid and she went from tree hugging hippie to loud and proud racist so fast. It took YEARS of arguing and fighting every time she said something racist before I could finally get through to her. Don't let up. My sister got sucked into transphobic bs too and she finally stopped talking about it after getting a lot of pushback over a couple of years. My husband got sucked into the alt right pipeline in the late 2010s after a lifetime of being hard left. That also took a couple years of never letting anything slide and fighting about every stupid video he watched. Don't give up on your family and cut them out, either, though, please. I know it's tempting but I feel we all have the responsibility to pull our loved ones out of the cult. It's the only way for society to move forward. It's hard. I know. I've done it three times.

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] nocturne@slrpnk.net 33 points 3 weeks ago

I have not spoken with my fascist father in 11 months. Before that I spent years trying to reverse the brain washing. My mother moved out in 2021 because of his trump isolation. He told me that was the worst day of his life, I said if only there was a way to change that. He thought I meant make my mom become a fascist too.

[-] pep@sh.itjust.works 19 points 3 weeks ago

This sounds a lot like my dad...minus the mom moving out bit...everything in the world, he looks at through MAGA-colored glasses. When groceries were expensive under Biden, he said it was all Biden's fault. Now that it's actually Trump's fault from all the tariffs, all of a sudden grocery prices are "complicated."

Like you, I spent a lot of time trying to un-brainwash him, and eventually gave up...he's probably only got 1-2 years left, so I feel like I'm just riding it out, it's just a shame that his final years have twisted him into something I think he wouldn't have even recognized 25 years ago (it would be easier if it were dementia, but other than this MAGA cult shit, he's still pretty sharp).

[-] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 30 points 3 weeks ago

My parents have always been conservative, to the point where in high school I was very much the same because my dad would always play right wing radio on the drive to school.

I graduated high school and went to college, where I was no longer stuck in such an echo chamber, and I slowly stopped believing in that horseshit.

But my parents never left that bubble, and when Trump came around it got worse. We fought each other on it occasionally, but still had a relationship. Then Biden came, and things got slightly better. I was less anxious at the state of the world. I knew things were still fucked, but there was at least a glimmer of a shred of hope that the Trump era was fading, and at the very least it wasn't something I had to immediately worry about.

Then the second Trump administration came, and our relationship fell apart. I was and am beyond pissed at them for voting at for an obvious nazi, among a number of other issues.

So we tried therapy for a bit, and it fell apart after about 2-3 months. So I was even more pissed off at them, and they were oblivious as to why I was pissed, despite explaining it to them numerous times. So now I'm low contact with them both.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] loweffortname 28 points 3 weeks ago

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Brainwashing_of_My_Dad?wprov=sfla1

In this particular case, the answer was to - quite literally - turn off the TV.

I don't imagine this is a good option for many, but shutting off the incoming flow of hate can make a difference.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] shaggyb@lemmy.world 28 points 3 weeks ago

Zero tolerance. No conversation. No benefit of the doubt. Zero.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] FirstCircle@lemmy.ml 27 points 3 weeks ago

Meta: Lemmy doesn't seem to have something akin to Reddit's "QAnonCasualties" subreddit. That's kind of surprising as I think there'd be plenty of interest in such a thing. I can imagine it might be a lot of work to moderate though.

OP: the abovementioned subreddit might help you understand what's going on and if you tell your story you will definitely get a lot of support from people who have lost friends and loved-ones to MAGA/QAnon. Don't let the "QAnon" part of the sub name deter you, there's a big overlap between QAnon and MAGA and the sub has content from people affected by both/either.

[-] pep@sh.itjust.works 22 points 3 weeks ago

I just wish someone had come up with a novel approach to mend relationships between leftists and their MAGA-brainwashed parents, but reading the 40 or so replies here and taking your advice and popping over to my favorite redlib instance to read some of that community...it looks like success at improving these relationships is incredibly rare.

I do quite like the approach laid out by Honkology in their "why facts don't change people's minds" video and have been taking that approach for the last 9 years, but not only has it failed to move them one inch out of the cult, they have only gone deeper and deeper. Mentally, I have accepted the fact that it's not my responsibility to fix them, but emotionally, it's difficult to accept.

On one hand, all the replies here from people in similar situations has made me feel less alone in the situation. On the other, it has also made me really sad about how easily tens of millions of people could be turned against anyone who doesn't look like them, think like them, or belong to their same economic stratum.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Agosagror@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 3 weeks ago

Don't argue with them. Don't give them facts or anything else.

Ask them questions, Let them explain themselves, they'll see it as trying to convert you or explain MAGA to you.

In the process of that, by asking the right question at the right time, they will slowly over the course of multiple years change their mind.

Eventually they'll ask you about your viewpoint and you'll know youve made it the half way point

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] popcornpizza 23 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I have no hope of ever having a normal relationship with them. I avoid talking about myself, my thoughts and feelings, and just nod and bite my tongue. The world won't change if I make them see the truth, so I'm not going to bother trying, just to bring more issues between us and risk being alienated even further.

Cut off, and I realized just how much toxicity they brought into my house. No regrets. I’ve heard from others that without other people to blame their problems on they eventually turned on each other and are divorcing. The family is now safe from them.

[-] saigot@lemmy.ca 21 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

My mom is liberal enough, but my brother fell down the pipeline. He recently tried to convince my mom i was brainwashed to be a LGBTQ Muslim extremist by my wife (note, I am a man, and my wife is an ex-muslim whose sect is persecuted by Muslim extremists) and he made 51st state memes on canada day. I don't really know what to do, I just try not to be alone with him.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] eldavi@lemmy.ml 20 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

i only have my father left, but both my parents were always latin-american leftists and so were most of my siblings.

most of my siblings married maga-white people and their children (as well as their children) are maga and my father and siblings have become maga-sympathetic as a result.

only my sister and i remain leftists and i'm convinced it was entirely because we were the only ones to marry other latinos. we both keep our distance for the rest of our family. it's been 10 years since she's seen the rest of the family and i decided to do the same thing last xmas. we only visit cousins/aunts/uncles that have maintained ties with our latin-american origins and that luckily happens to coincide with our politics.

my father still tries to maintain our relationship; but i suspect that it has more to do w my aunts/uncles prodding him to do so and it didn't start happening until i told them about my decision last xmas.

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 20 points 3 weeks ago

How am I dealing with it? Not well. I don't feel like I can talk to my parents anymore. They're completely disengaged from politics 100% of the time until it comes time to blindly vote Republican. They don't care that the world is dying because they'll be dead before it would impact them. Even though they have children and grandchildren. It sickens me and I have no idea how to grapple with that

[-] reagansrottencorpse@lemmy.ml 20 points 3 weeks ago

This is a painful topic for me. I empathize with you all.

[-] Somsphet@lemmy.zip 20 points 3 weeks ago

My grandfather and his family supported Hitler and were Nazi sympathisers. He admitted to admiring Hitler on his literal death bed. My mom never denounced or condemned him for his beliefs. She is currently ignoring the fact that my grandfather was Jewish and most of his family died in concentration camps. I brought up how Nazis were upset at the game Wolfenstein. She tried to defend the literal Nazis upset at a game famouse for it's Nazi killings.

I provided climate change proof from NASA data and she claimed it wasn't credible because the data came from NASA. SHE PAINTED A PICTURE OF TRUMP HUGGING JESUS. In her infamous extremely bad painting style. Off topic but my son had a portrait from her. He asked us to throw it away because his portrait was giving him nightmares. Made contact with an estranged aunt and found out that literally everyone in my family hates her art because it really is just that bad. Art is subjective, but in this case please make an exception.

Turns out my mother was always a Nazi, I just didn't notice the signs until I cut her out of my life.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] WarrenVZ@lemmy.ml 19 points 3 weeks ago

My parents are not MAGA (They are more "centre-left"), but I do feel very sorry for anyone who has to deal with parents like that. I have other family members who support MAGA, and I simply don't talk to them, because I cannot look them in their eyes, knowing that they support pure evil. Their Facebook profiles make my blood boil, but I try my best just to watch the meme my father sent me, so I can carry on with my day, without it being ruined by my Neo-Nazi fascist family members. We aren't even American, but you know the saying by now - "When America sneezes, the whole world catches a cold".

[-] moakley@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago

I'm lucky. My parents flipped in 2016. My dad became a Democrat at 60 years old and hasn't looked back.

I was talking to him the other day and said, "Sometimes I wish you were still Republican, so I'd have someone to yell at." Like it's frustrating in a way, because I want to shake these people, like, how can you be this shitty? My dad laughed and said: "Sorry, it turns out I have morals."

Meanwhile my mother-in-law is still a conservative but refuses to talk about it, and it's not my place to push too hard. She'll be cut off eventually, when we have to flee the regime, but for now I point out the insane shit that's going on and she just giggles nervously, because she's incapable of confrontation. If she were my mother she'd have been cut off by now.

It's a shame, because in every other respect she's a wonderful lady. She always welcomed me into her family, and she's such an active, loving grandmother. Except for the part where she sold out her grandchildren's future because minorities make her nervous, of course.

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] deacon@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago

I broke up with my parents about 9 months ago.

I need to mourn the good, morally centered parents, who taught me all of the principles that are now being sacrificed by my parents, or by the creatures they have turned into. The parents that raised me are essentially gone.

Haven’t had any contact with them since. Makes it a bit awkward with my siblings, since they generally feel the same but haven’t taken as drastic a step yet.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] meep_launcher@sh.itjust.works 18 points 3 weeks ago

I used to have political arguments with my dad all the time, but like in a fun debate team way. It really was a fun part of our relationship until 2020... and then shit got real when I moved to a big city and the fun was gone.

When I moved home for a year, the first few months were rough. Lots of anger, lots of pain, but eventually I came to realize nothing I could say would do anything- to my family I was just woke end of story. So I stopped talking politics at all with them, and started talking about music, or yard work, or how we like our coffee. Honestly that opened things up later on to have more honest conversations that were more level headed. Frankly I got him to agree with DEI as a concept so long as I avoided buzzwords or call it DEI by name.

My dad is still the same guy- still funny, he's still bright, he's still kind and would absolutely help a child on the side of the road, he just listened to too much patriot radio. I still call him, but we had to realize our relationship and who we are to each other comes first. Politics might change but he's always my dad and I'm always his son. Besides, when I came out as bi at 16 he was the only one who told me he loved me so that's gotta mean something. He's still in there.

[-] IronBird@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

goddamn this murdoch rot has gotten deep...how the fuck do you even begin to deprogram half (1/3rd, atleast) of an entire country?

[-] Josey_Wales@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago

I he’d a funeral for the one that went MAGA in my mind. I gave a great eulogy. All my favorite food was served at the meal following the wake. Easily in my top 10 funerals.

load more comments (5 replies)
[-] InvalidName2@lemmy.zip 17 points 3 weeks ago

It weighs heavily on me, to say the least. It's nearly impossible to have an even slightly tangentially political conversation with them that doesn't leave me deeply disturbed and/or infuriated, so I pretty much avoid it altogether. Now the deepest conversation I allow is "how's the weather" and "what are you having for dinner tonight?", and that's sad.

But it's absolutely the case that engaging with them on political stuff is destructive to my psyche. And even worse, they have a way of turning otherwise entirely non-political topics into something political. These are not the people who raised me or the values they raised me with. And there's no real logical consistency to any of it other than it's definitely going to be in agreement with whatever the latest opinions are on Fox News and Facebook.

As a kid, the only particularly "conservative" view point they shared was on immigration. They absolutely believed the whole "Mexicans are taking our jobs" bullshit. I remember even asking them why they aren't mad at their bosses for giving their jobs to the "Mexicans" and never getting a satisfactory answer for why that was given a pass.

And then from that one little common thread, the rest of the conservative/Republican agenda has wormed its way in. So, naturally as the conservative agenda morphed into a more fascist agenda, so have my parents' beliefs. With age and health related mental declines, these ideals have become more cemented. These are people who will never forget or forgive Democrats for NAFTA, but also believe that Republicans wanted universal healthcare for all yet Democrats gave us Obamacare instead. They grew up growing and selling weed to make ends meet, and yet still believe it should be illegal and people deserve to be in jail for it. They have a gay kid but believe gay marriage is wrong, because the Bible says marriage is only between a man and a woman, and the government shouldn't be involved at all.

They honestly buy into the idea that police officers and pastors are infallible. If someone is arrested, it's because they are guilty of something. No pastor would ever sexually abuse a child, they are a pastor after all. If the president says something is true, it must be true. And again, none of this is how they raised me or the ideals they expressed when I was growing up, so it's definitely like living in some kind of bizarre reality that's tough to come to terms with.

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] sramder@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago

I mean lots of old people go quietly insane… the world moves on and doesn’t want their “wisdom.” MAGA feels like a club or a religion, it’s accepting as long as you want to own the libs or whatever.

It’s a simple version of America that feels like the good old 50/60’s… family values, beating the communists.

To answer your question, I tell myself they will be dead soon. We need to focus on saving the country, not our folks. Let them go.

load more comments (9 replies)
[-] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

How old are your parents? If they are retired, that might explain a lot. People say you become broad minded, wise and knowledgeable if you have ample time to read and educate yourself, instead of working more (that's why many people say society's obsession with work is a distraction tool to prevent people thinking that the system is rigged). However, it also goes the inverse towards extreme radicalisation.

I don't have a practical advise to give to de-redicalise your parents, but typically radicalisation is not just you have too much time to consume so many contents, but also loneliness is a factor which most people overlook. Hannah Arendt made a conclusion in her book, Origins of Totalitarianism, that loneliness is a precursor to totalitarianism. The far right (and far left as well) sell the snake oil that only they can bring people together again.

A lot of old people who are lonely are vulnerable to extremist propaganda because their minds are not in the right place. This is something to consider imo when you have to interact with your parents. Genuine human connection is the missing ingredient. A friend of mine has also become far right. He moved to London many years ago, and my guess is that because big cities tend to be individualistic, this made him lonely. The far right rabbithole created a sense of togetherness and purpose for listless individuals.

Edit: wording

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

the world is learning how important a healthy independent media cycle is, right now as it is going extinct with no sign of returning. it's the thing that defines all of the average person's opinions and values.

load more comments (7 replies)
[-] ptc075@lemmy.zip 16 points 3 weeks ago

For me, what has sort of worked it pointing out that both sides of the news are getting basic facts wrong - things where there shouldn't even be a debate. If the news was true, you could watch any channel - it would all be the same. Instead, we get things like one side claiming murders are up and the other claiming murders are down. Our current journalism is a failure of a system designed to drive engagement/viewership/clicks rather than convey knowledge.

I also find it helps to remind them that we're Americans first, party second. The other side isn't stupid, they're just getting a completely different set of 'news'.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago

We only see each other two or three times a year and have mutually agreed not to discuss politics since the unfortunate Christmas dinner of 2016, just after the brexit referendum, when I'd had a few drinks and rose to the bait. And they always liked to bait me, knowing I was involved with direct action and am pretty hard left. They got more blowback than they anticipated. I love them, I can even understand their positions, but they're not going to change and neither am I, so we just don't discuss it anymore.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] SidewaysHighways@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

UUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

i deal with it by just trying my goddamned hardest never to have to see them.

bury myself in setting up self hosted shit so maybe i barter a season of bobs burgers for an ounce of pepper once all the shareholders have extracted all value and moved on to the next planet.

i absolutely can't stand it.

deal with them because i want to use the pontoon boat? its just not worth it anymore

edit. did not realize it would format like that

[-] blarth@thelemmy.club 14 points 3 weeks ago

My dad was in the military, but I never heard the sorts of things from him that I do now. He has started saying the N word to try to get a rise out of me, thinks Trump is going to “fix” everything, and every time I talk to him on the phone, I can hear fascist talk radio in the background.

We have learned not to bring up politics with each other. The last time I challenged him on it, he said I was being disrespectful, but I don’t accept that. He just thought I was supposed to sit quietly and listen to crazy ranting.

I have learned that in general it’s best to change the subject if someone wants to talk politics who I know I don’t agree with. Most people have gotten the point. We still get along great! We just have polar opposite politics.

Now I know that some people would question why I remain friendly with those people. The answer is that we have more in common than not. Someday, when everyone finally comes to the conclusion that the powerful and foreign are manipulating our political discourse to sow discord, we will finally be at peace again.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] noxypaws@pawb.social 14 points 3 weeks ago

My dad has always been. I went no contact for a few years during the first few months of covid. Since then we occasionally chat over signal but it's surface level shit and I don't really feel like trying anymore.

load more comments (6 replies)
[-] N0t_5ure@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago

I feel for you. My parents also drank the Koolaid, but my mother is dead now, and my father has slipped even further down the rabbit hole. He's also a horrible person in general, and while I used to engage with him if he were behaving himself, I've effectively gone no contact now. I've only spoke with him once in the last few years, and when he launched into a racist anti-immigrant tirade I told him not to be a coward his entire life and hung up on him. It was on my birthday.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2025
468 points (100.0% liked)

Asklemmy

51050 readers
459 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS