Nothing, and I mean nothing, can convince me to have a child.
What if we trapped JD Vance in the body of an immortal baby you could endlessly neglect?
I'd like evidence he isn't currently an immortal baby.
He sure is an immoral one.
He is clearly going for the "immortal baby" look, I'll give you that, but it is obvious he is just a poser and not a real immortal baby.
JD is no Danny Devito.
Real immortal babies emerge naked from couches, fake ones try to nakedly penetrate into them.
See, I'd still have to see, hear, smell the thing.
There is no element of a child under the age of say 10 that I enjoy at all.
That horrible shriek they make, happy or sad sounds exactly the same to me, makes my skin crawl.
No babies, not ever. Death before diapers!
The only thing I like about kids is I can take them to whatever goofy place I want and get them to give it a shot. Got my nephew and niece hooked on hotpot and dumplings.
Being an uncle kicks ass. Would I want kids of my own though? Questionable.
This isn't how you get me to have a kid. This is how you get me to dodge taxes.
Off to gulag, then.
Oh well that's happening regardless.
Then we may cross paths again.
I may be misremembering... because we're in the process of "correcting" our history but:
Wasn't "no taxation without representation" kinda a foundation on which this nation was formed? Just sayin'
Unless you live in a US territory or DC, you have representation.
Depending on where you live, "representation" means less than the paper it's written on.
Do you oppose AI-powered surveillance in your local city? Golly, that's swell and all, but they already made up their mind months ago! Everything else is just a formality, and they're more than happy to make it as difficult as possible for you to be heard during public meetings.
This genuinely does parallel early american colonial plights surprisingly well. Also: I'm not sure if you picked that example intentionally - but I have to say it's pretty topical ;) 📎
Yeah, I'll just start claiming nonexistent dependants. Or I'll start claiming my pets as my children on all legal documents.
Probably isn't that hard to get forgeries of all sorts of documentation like birth certificates, etc.
We have this already. It's called dependant deduction.
Counterpoint to JD:
I am autistic.
Surely you don't want me generating more autists, right?
Just don't eat tylenol, apparently.
Right right, my stupid autism brain is still stuck in 'reality' where there is pretty strong genetic inheritance, a heritability component to autism.
Ok, so new instructions are... apparently... generate a child by some arcane means, natural or unnatural, BUT, under no circumstances allow the target of my impregnation powers to use any Tylenol for 9 months.
I phrase this as cringily as possible to convey the concept that this is an incel tax.
It is a tax on incels.
....The only way this could even theoretically work is if it was also paired with a uh, Nazi style Aryan broodmother / assigned wife type program.
So, I guess, get ready for that soon.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lebensborn
Somewhat of a sticking point:
The Nazis aborted pregnancies from the racially impure and those suspected to be born with a disability.
So... not quite sure how the theocrats will feel about that.
Don't worry you'll be "relocated" soon.
Well, if I go like a month without posting... I dunno, send a recon team to look for me on one of RFK Jr's psychward/detox/farm labor camps.
I can assure you this is directed at white able bodied "normies"
I'm a minority with a professional degree in a profession that has more job openings than candidates, especially in rural areas like JD had grown up in. I know in my heart he would deport me without question, regardless of if I were American born, to the homeland of my ancestors. I'd imagine he would find my humanist values quite disturbing.
They want an Aryan nation as Hitler envisioned it. They're convinced it will be utopian. If not, it'll at least allow them to deify themselves as the white people they've sold the "master race" lie to are loyal to them to the point of self immolation.
Ok. So let's talk about the two scenarios here if you can't afford kids.
-
You're taxed for childlessness, likely at an amount above the cost of a child or two, to "encourage" you to have children. You are now unable to afford that tax and thus, risk jail.
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You have a child when you can't afford it to avoid the tax, and now have to bring up a child you cannot afford to raise in a government that actively doesn't want to help you in any way.
In short. You're fucked either way.
Ahh. Lebensborn. I should have made a bingo card with all the keywords of Nazi Germany. The Trump administration has it all. Censorship, GeStaPo, apartheit against minorities, Reichsparteitag, ignoring the law, using emergency laws to ursurp the rule, concentration camps...
When the communists got the same idea in Romania, it failed spectacularly, filling orphanages with abused orphans
Small government in action.
I have two adopted kids, but no biological children. I had a vasectomy after the adoption was finalized. My wife and i have a theoretical decade left where she can (unsafely) carry a child. We do not want more children. Would I be fucked if this happened? What if you conceive but have miscarriages? Would you be punished for something outside your control?
The answer to all of these is probably "Yes, the cruelty is the point"
So basically all you single people are fucked. Tradcons are a blight on this planet
Losing the incel vote will for go well for them
Taking a page from Putin's playbook. Anything but to alleviate the cost of living crisis, which is the main reason for people not having children. It is also a thinly veiled attempt to reassert dominance on women.
They need everyone to pop out a ton of babies so we can have child labor replace the migrant farm workers they deported.
Child labor has a years-long lead time. The only way this would actually work is if they planned on staying in power for at least 7 more years.
So... yeah, that checks out.
Can’t wait for my government assigned trad wife
I've always thought it's insane we pay people to have children, but sure let's take that even further and tax those who don't.
Slaves needed. Inquire within.
Did JD Vance have kids by fucking his couch before his wife sat on it?
That's the problem, his wife won't sit on it, so he fucks couches instead
It makes political sense for them to demonise certain groups. The childfree movement has been quite vocal (or at least well publicised) of late, and it's super-easy to cherry pick some of the more extreme viewpoints from that 'community' and weaponise it against 'normal' people, conflating those opinions with the so-called left (as if deciding wether or not you have kids defines who you are politically). It's easy fodder for the media and, as always, successfully distracts much of the population from the fact that they're being bled dry by billionaires.
as if deciding wether or not you have kids defines who you are politically
Which decision you choose doesn't define your politics, believing in the choice in the first place does.
Fun fact: humans are capable of parthenogenesis. No cases have been known to survive to birth, but they can induce miscarriages like sexual fertilization does. Since most early miscarriages happen before you are aware and would not be distinguishable from normal periods, there's no way to tell if you are experiencing one of these events at any given time. Therefore, I will be filing my taxes to reflect the 12 dead children I lost over the year. Does it matter that I have no fallopian tubes, and therefore would never have an egg implant into my uterus in the first? Not if every conception is sacred!
The article is worth a read and is not about jd Vance. That's just a anecdote from the article. They touch on the different approaches and motivations behind the pronatalism movement. The article ends on a non-apocalyptic and non-proscriptive note.
You are already taxed on not having children because you cannot write them off if you don't have them.
USpolitics