If you find one, you find a group cos like attracts attracts like.
Because the amount of rapist's among the toral male population is incredibly small?
Not saying there isn't a discussion to be had here. But this argument is moronic and goes against what it's trying to say
Also "Do I know a rapist?" No.
Did I? At one point yeah... piece of shit is dead to me now.
Probably because most rapists are repeat offenders which makes more rape victims than rapists, if I had to give a legitimate guess. That and non-rapists tending not to associate with people they know are rapists.
Well, rapists don't brag about it probably, but women will talk to each other for support.
You think Trump and his friends didn't talk about what they did? The same guy that can't keep his mouth shut about anything? The same guy that has to constantly talk about how amazing something he did was?
Unfortunately, I think they do, but only to their like-minded friends.
I'm locking this thread while I clean it up.
Dear God this thread is a cesspit
Yeah because sometimes women yell that some dude raped her even if he didnt. She dgaf if this statement fucks up his life, she wont face consequences for false accusations.
I have never met anybody of any gender who does that. If you're hanging out with people who do, you're in with a bad crowd.
You know, there are people who falsely accuse other people of rape. It happens. And it is awful and should be punished. But it is such a miniscule minority compared to the actual number of SA cases. "Women put forward false rape accusations" falls under the same category as "easy access to abortion will lead to women treating abortion as a form of birth control" or "people will exploit social security because they are lazy and don't want to work".
Like, do they really think that happens all the time? One in three women puts forward false rape accusations, just like one in three women is actually SA'ed? Dude at work annoys me so much I'll just call him a rapist and get him fired. And sure, I'll just get a abortion every month instead of using a condom because an abortion is just sooo much more convenient. But sometimes I'm, like, keeping the pregnancy until its last month just to fuck with the doctors and demand an abortion two weeks before the due date, just for funsies. And man, have you ever lived off of social security? That's so amazing bro, I much prefer being not able to afford anything but crackers and teabags and choosing between whether to feed myself or my children, that's like a lottery, so much fun, so much better than a job!
These cases exist. I'm sure there are psychopaths who do that. But focusing on them is such a disservice to millions of people who actually suffer. It glimpses over the reality to portray some absurd extreme cases.
Would you care to elaborate
@QueenMidna@lemmy.ca would you be able to take a look over this thread when you get a chance, I think there's some potentially rulebreaking behaviour. As well, I'm wondering if potentially having more moderators for a community like this is a good idea? The OP of this thread, @LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone, moderates !womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone over on Blahaj and does an excellent job. That is, if she'd be willing too of course.
Thanks for bringing this to my attention. My Lemmy client doesn't alert me to moderation events, so I'm going to fix it
So, this is a fun one:
A rapist often has more than one victim.
Someone who disclosed to one person may well have disclosed to many.
Rapists tend not to self-disclose.
The definition of rape is badly established between both parties (it's an absolute minefield).
What you end up with is lots of small factors giving the illusion of a higher frequency by counting the same predator twice among women, and you also have factors that may cause predators not to be counted by men giving the illusion of a lower frequency.
I, calling myself a man, know 2 rapists.
I don't know him anymore for obvious reasons.
It bothers me that anyone pointing to the majority of men who are not rapists, is getting branded as a rape apologist.
As a guy, I can say with certainty that I've never been involved in, nor known about anyone who was the perpetrator of rape.
I firmly believe that the perpetrators, specifically the male perpetrators of rape, if they tell anyone, they say it as a regular sexual encounter. Ladies, we don't go into details taking about who did what in the bedroom. The most I've ever heard from any guy about their sexual exploits, is that they happened "I banged her" (or similar), and sometimes a quip about the experience or the person, eg: "it was great" or "she's a freak (in bed)" or similar.
The reason we don't know that the people we know are rapists, is because they're not coming out and telling us about it. I promise, if they did, they wouldn't be free for long. They'd either end up in jail, or beaten bloody by the majority of us (or worse).
Generally we just don't say much about what happens in the bedroom, to eachother.
Agreed.
I am a man and I am a victim of repeated child sexual abuse. It has broken me forever. While I don't feel comfortable explaining what effects it had on me, let's say that I'll never be a normal functioning person because of what was done to me.
To what you said I would like to add that some of us are victims too and being generalized and then labeled as rapists or apologists is so fucking triggering, it's actually madening. The idea of being associated with my perpetrator is intolerable.
I get it that sexual misconducts are more prevalent in men, but something like 1 in 6 boys will experience some sort of sexual abuse. That is a shitton of victims being labeled as rapist apologists.
Anyways, like you, I think we can have this discussion without aggressively accusing all members of a given gender.
Especially lately with all the Epstein stuff being discussed, I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling trapped in a constant spiral of flashbacks and stuck in a non-stop dissociated state especially that there is no accountability in sight.
In any cases, let's have compassion for all the victims no matter their gender or sex and let's focus our anger toward the abusers.
I don't think it's possible for me to agree with you more.
I will only add the I empathize with you and all of the other victims regardless of gender. Please know that you are valued for who you are, not what has happened to you.
Be well.
I do know a rapist. Unfortunately I only found out she was a rapist when she raped me.