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It wasn't your fault
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If you find one, you find a group cos like attracts attracts like.
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this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2025
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Witches VS Patriarchy
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So, this is a fun one:
A rapist often has more than one victim.
Someone who disclosed to one person may well have disclosed to many.
Rapists tend not to self-disclose.
The definition of rape is badly established between both parties (it's an absolute minefield).
What you end up with is lots of small factors giving the illusion of a higher frequency by counting the same predator twice among women, and you also have factors that may cause predators not to be counted by men giving the illusion of a lower frequency.
Well, you had me right up to this point. But the "how was I supposed to know?" shit is consistently said by the worst creeps.
You just reaffirmed what they said.
There are rapists that don’t think it’s rape.
It is indeed, your point?
My reply was to answer the question asked, not to take a moral stance.
The pawblem is that it's not just the worst creeps though. There are plenty of men, and even some women, who will say it's not rape if:
There are plenty more examples I can think of but these are the most common in my opinion. Maybe you can make the argument that people that don't see these as rape are also the "worst creeps". However, it still follows OC's point that the definition isn't universal in a way where less men will know a rapist then women.
I was in the process of writing a long response that almost completely mirrored your top 2.
I added a clustering or self-filtering problem, basically rapists likely don’t have a lot of friends so that’s why guys would necessarily know a rapist.
And I hadn’t even considered your last point but it is indeed a valid one, although it really shouldn’t be all that different.
It definitely shouldn't, but out there is a man who thinks torturing consent out of someone isn't rape, and a woman who thinks refusing to marry after sex is rape.
Between those two extremes (and beyond them!) is every shade of definition, and the lines vary by nation and culture. This is not a statement condoning this, it is a sad one of fact.
(Edit, even in this very thread is someone who thinks rape is defined by not agreeing with them!)