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[-] Blackmist@feddit.uk 291 points 1 week ago

I hired a new employee to start on Tuesday

He came in on Monday

I fired him on the spot

Can't follow simple fucking instructions

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 66 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I hired a guy to start on Monday. He showed up at 8:45.

No Bueno buster, you were expected at exactly midnight because that's when fuckin Monday starts.

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[-] Denjin@feddit.uk 275 points 1 week ago

What an absolute piece of shit coming in 15 minutes early on your scheduled start date.

[-] Lazycog@sopuli.xyz 195 points 1 week ago

Yeah. I would have fired them on the spot.

Why?

Because if they came early it means that they not busy enough in their own life.

If life's not a one big hustle for you, you are not even trying.

(/s just incase)

[-] meekah@lemmy.world 58 points 1 week ago

This reads like it came straight off of linked in. Perfection.

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[-] Toneswirly@lemmy.world 139 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Assuming this isnt a parody, odds are good the job is a bog standard 40k a year desk job. Also filtering candidates and finding a suitable one takes many peoples' time, which you are wasting if you have invisible criteria revealed on the persons start date.

[-] The_Picard_Maneuver@piefed.world 182 points 1 week ago

You mean a fast paced environment?

[-] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 62 points 1 week ago

Fucking dream for an office. I just got a table a notebook stand and a monitor. I have to carry the keyboard and mouse with me everywhere.

[-] criss_cross@lemmy.world 39 points 1 week ago

Shit most places do the “open office” thing where you get a third of this space and less privacy. Everyone can hear everyone’s calls.

And people wonder why employees hate RTO

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 week ago

Eh, I like our open office workspace. Our desks are large, we each get drawers, and if anyone needs to make a call, they go to a breakout room. Navigating cubicles sucks, and separate offices aren't great either.

That said, I'm a developer, so inviting someone over to my desk to look at something is quite common. We also frequently have impromptu 5-min meetings between rows, and we arrange people so those who will likely need those quick meetings are near each other.

It certainly wouldn't make sense for a call center or something, but it definitely makes sense for a creative, collaborative environment.

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[-] frezik 20 points 1 week ago

I swear HR has a rolodex of dumb filler phrases to put into job ads. The kind that are vague enough that nobody can specifically call them out on it later.

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[-] scytale@piefed.zip 130 points 1 week ago

I once had a conversation with a dude in the waiting room at the doctor's clinic. He said he purposely delayed in-person interviews for up to an hour sometimes so he can "judge" how the applicant reacts and show their dedication to getting the job. I pretty much stopped engaging after he said that. Fortunately I was called up shortly.

[-] bunitor@lemmy.eco.br 2 points 6 days ago

yeah it honestly makes sense considering that what most job interviews are measuring is the candidate's willingness to humiliate themselves for the boss

[-] yeahiknow3@lemmy.dbzer0.com 86 points 1 week ago

Always tell these people that they’re despicable to their face. It’s the only way to change their toxic culture.

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 49 points 1 week ago

Wow, that's terrible. If I'm not there 5 min early to perform your interview, I'll apologize. Being on-time to something like that just invites time-wasting things like kicking the previous group out of the interview room or whatever.

An interview should be a 2-way deal, I'm representing the company and trying to find a good fit for the role, and you're trying to decide whether the company is a good fit for you. If I'm late to an interview, I expect any self-respecting candidate to leave after 15 min, and I wouldn't be surprised if they left after 5. I'm the one looking to fill a role, you're just here to see if it suits you, so it's on me to give the good impression IMO.

[-] Waldelfe@feddit.org 48 points 1 week ago

So he's pissing off all the great candidates who have better options.

[-] GroundedGator@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago

Seems that he is confusing desperation for dedication. The only people who are going to wait for an hour are those who have no other choice.

It seems to me that he is really testing their ability to put up with his bullshit more than anything. One of my biggest pet peeves professionally is respect for the time of others.

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[-] LoafedBurrito@lemmy.world 128 points 1 week ago

Gotta love the fake power trip stories on LinkedIn. Cringe fest.

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[-] exu@feditown.com 128 points 1 week ago

If the agreement says to come in on Tuesday, you're arguably trespassing when you force your way in in Monday.

[-] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 44 points 1 week ago
[-] Dagnet@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago

"Yes, I broke in the office at 4AM in a Sunday but that was only because I'm DEDICATED"

[-] asg101 79 points 1 week ago

Sounds like the employee dodged a bullet there.

Wood chippers for all the bosses.

[-] CaptainBlinky@lemmy.myserv.one 30 points 1 week ago

Would have, if it were real. Hiring people is a bitch. You don't ditch people because they're not psychic psychos.

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[-] Evotech@lemmy.world 72 points 1 week ago
[-] the_q@lemmy.zip 22 points 1 week ago

This is yes, but also 100% possible.

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[-] Jiggle_Physics@sh.itjust.works 67 points 1 week ago

Yeah, show up a day early to your office job, and find out that they don't have the system set-up for you to be there. Then go home, while everyone there thinks you got the start day wrong.

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[-] MrSulu@lemmy.ml 64 points 1 week ago

This is toxicity manifest.

[-] Tja@programming.dev 26 points 1 week ago

And not even a succulent Chinese meal to compensate...

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[-] thedruid@lemmy.world 61 points 1 week ago

Why censore the account name? They put it out publicly to be shared.

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[-] MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 51 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Hillariously, I've tried this a few times. Either security wouldn't let me in, or I couldn't clock-in ... no matter what, they didn't pay for the time, or at least not the whole shift.

(vs OOP): Sure, encourage me to realize you aren't worth working for before you have any idea what I can really do.

[-] dnick@sh.itjust.works 43 points 1 week ago

Showing up a few minutes early to work could make sense, but showing up a day early? WTF? Why would someone possibly tell you to start work on Tuesday unless there was some reason Monday intentionally wouldn't work? I mean ffs, either you won't be in the system, keys aren't ready, your friggin co-workers may not be ready, no desk... And you want to show up a friggin day early and make someone babysit you on top of their regular job?

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[-] Godnroc@lemmy.world 49 points 1 week ago

Reminds me of the Team Fortress 2 Expiration Date animation.

Spy: Final Question... You have a dinner date for seven... what time do you arrive?

Scout: Seven. A.M. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, I gotta kill him. Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30...

Spy: You're ready.

Scout: Really?

Spy: No. Everything you just said was insane... and, we are out of time. Congratulations. You're a failure.

[-] hOrni@lemmy.world 45 points 1 week ago

My employee came for his pay check. I fired him on the spot. I don't respect people who only work for money.

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[-] Baked86@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago

Why is it blurred? I don't get why people try protect scummy companies.

[-] drolex@sopuli.xyz 36 points 1 week ago

I would have reverse-fired my future ex-boss. 'Monday? That was my day off after working 80 hours this week-end (I spent this day off doing research obviously). I was there on Sunday at 3:00 AM and couldn't see you so I took the liberty of making you redundant'

-- drolex, AI-evangelist and crypto-blockchain entrepreneur/guru, CEO and ninja

[-] ook@discuss.tchncs.de 36 points 1 week ago

I hope this is Ken Chang or what's his name.

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[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev 33 points 1 week ago

"I wanted my employee to do something I didn't ask for so I fired them when they did exactly what I asked."

[-] shneancy@lemmy.world 30 points 1 week ago

job requirement:

  • mind reading
[-] TomMasz@piefed.social 20 points 1 week ago

Did he dodge a bullet? Yes

[-] DeathsEmbrace@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago

For $20-30/hr? Unless it's a 6 figures never expect this effort from anything.

[-] Nougat@fedia.io 19 points 1 week ago

Figures don’t matter. If your pay comes with a check stub, you do your job, and then go home.

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[-] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Hope he got his car keyed and his tires slashed

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this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2025
754 points (100.0% liked)

LinkedinLunatics

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A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com

(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)

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