475
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
all 38 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Okokimup@lemmy.world 122 points 1 month ago

My dog posted this.

[-] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 65 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

This is a red, beige, and green checkered flag.

  • wants to chase down people
  • is whimsical
  • can't make up his mind
  • is controlling
  • cares about fitness
  • not a gym bro
[-] MissJinx@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

I want you to do exactly what I want, but I don't want you to do it because I want, I want you to want to do it. What an easy going person

[-] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip 43 points 1 month ago

Honestly sounds fun but I'd want to vibe check with a coffee first lol

[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev 39 points 1 month ago

Bro needs to get into competitive tag

[-] gray@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 month ago

I need to get into this. How did I not know this existed?

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Come closer, I'll tell you how to get started with it.

"Tag you're it"

Runs

[-] Brett@feddit.org 34 points 1 month ago

Would do it for free but i havent had a facebook account for over a decade now.

[-] TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago
[-] crank0271@lemmy.world 34 points 1 month ago

Right, but one of the requirements is a Facebook post at the end.

[-] r00ty@kbin.life 12 points 1 month ago

It's probably from the era when everyone had a Facebook account. In the modern era, I am sure a Tik-tok (is that what all the kids are doing now?) video would suffice.

[-] _druid@sh.itjust.works 27 points 1 month ago

I was talking to a guy who wanted to stalk me through a mall until he caught me. He seemed confused when I wasn't interested.

[-] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 month ago

Now consider this, you both have different shops in the mall you have to take a photo in, you start from different ends of the mall, the one who finds the other or takes the photos first wins. It could be like stalking but more of a game.

[-] _druid@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 month ago

That could be a cute game! But he wanted me to try and escape the mall. The price of failure was him ushering me to a dressing room to do things only he was interested in doing.

[-] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 month ago

Pretty creepy, maybe not the best plan

[-] _druid@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago

I agree, and I let him know that haha

[-] baines@lemmy.cafe 2 points 1 month ago

that just sounds like he wasn’t hot enough

[-] _druid@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

No, that wasn't the issue. He was decently put together, a little older than I like, but I enjoyed conversing with him. Until he brought up stalking me, and I told him that would give me horrible anxiety, and he kept trying to talk me into it.

[-] kautau@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Because of the implication

[-] TherapyGary 25 points 1 month ago

I would sign up for this in a heartbeat. Much lower stakes than doing a crime right in front of a cop, and probably almost as much fun

[-] ChillPill@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago
[-] iii@mander.xyz 21 points 1 month ago
[-] ook@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 month ago

You'd be so lucky

[-] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

Go play open-field paintball. Sounds like he’s into the hunt, so up the ante and be hunted too. Do the stalking while being stalked.

[-] baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 month ago

that's not a power fantasy anymore

[-] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

You might be right.

[-] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 month ago

the many outs on getting paid is a deal breaker.

[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

This person just needs better parents

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 month ago
[-] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

well, they didn't get paid, so it's their loss

[-] apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago
[-] tiramichu@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

Yeah sure if my dog is a serial killer

[-] aesthelete@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Read this in Nathan Fielder's voice.

[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 month ago

This person is unwell. Not because of the desire to chase someone (I have thoughts on that, but…) the high five and shit. Getting sweaty but they won't pay if they can't catch you but you also can't go easy on them if they're a slow fuck who can't catch you otherwise or you won't get paid. If I knew someone who posted this, I would disassociate from them.

this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2025
475 points (100.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

34864 readers
2149 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS