"The writer's barely-disguised inflation fetish"

"smut may only be 100% realistic. We cannot have smutty fiction engage in any fetishes or fantasies ever."

I know cis women who are into stuff like cumflation or being able to feel ovulation in a pleasurable way. This is just a twitter user self-reporting as being boring at best, puritanically anti-kink at worst.

On a side note: I found it wild that you average straight person thinks that wearing a collar, calling someone a good girl/boy and/or going "woof" in bed is extremely kinky. That's entry-level for furries.

Someone didn't pay attention at basic biology class at all

Genuine lol here. How did this get past an editor that was even half paying attention? Is this self-published?

"Bae, are you sure it's not the trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions of flagella tingling?"

What the - and I can't stress this enough - fuck

Just admit you have an enormous breeding fetish

I'm sorry no that's not a man writing a woman, that's an alien trying to write human woman

So this is actually real kinda, some women can feel when they ovulate sometimes. It's called mittelschmerz and it's quite uncomfortable. Like an aching stab. Definitely not sexy.

Man, it's not even 8:30 and I have read too much today.

I need eyebleach.

Normally I have more tolerance for internet shit but that's enough internet shit for today.

I cringed so hard my face looked like ground zero for power word scrunch.

whaa?

Uuugh. Uuuuuuuuuuuugh.

Bye Felicia.

seeds? become dryad?