Most people will actually smile back at you if you're even just somewhat pleasant to be around.
i feel like a dumb question. i know it's common, I just fear "how common".
I'm a guy, so I have no clue, but how often women are told to "smile"?
Early on during covid, when most of us were wearing masks, I had a guy look at me and I should smile.
I stared at him with my mask covered face.
He realized suddenly and fucking skedaddled like the dingus he was. I laughed about it at home later.
Nah. You be you. I be me. Smile and laugh at whatever you feel like. I have no desire to be in control because control does not matter between equals.
Not just women. I (M) get that too sometimes (always from guys that think they're just being nice). I don't owe you my smile asshole.
But if the people around me arent smiling, doesnt that add cognitive dissonance to the illusions i maintain as a prophylactic between me and the world i refuse to fix and regularly make worse?
I think it does, and it makes me sad when they do, so it's a personal attack.
I don't think blaming someone for having the empathy to notice but lacking the social skills to help is really helping. At least they're trying.
I don’t think it takes empathy to notice that someone is not smiling. It does take a controlling personality to tell them to smile, though.
I don't think it necessarily takes a "controlling personality" to tell somebody to smile more. It can totally be the case, but it can also be a misguided attempt at giving unsolicited advice. Would it be better for everyone if people smiled more? Absolutely, but it's not always possible, and telling somebody to do it is unlikely to help.
Hey maybe you should fucking smile more, don't care if you're smiling right now, do as I say little baby.
The world doesn't become a better place through appearances. People should smile if they're actually happy, not because they're being coerced into it.
Smiling is not just an appearance. There have been several studies that show smiling improves person's mood, even when it's artificial. It's called Facial Feedback Hypothesis. So yes, being reminded to smile, can be a genuine advice to improve one's mood. It's still not the best approach though.
It absolutely takes a controlling personality to dare to presume that people around you need to smile to satisfy the idea of a greater good based on social aesthetics. You can't just decide how others should feel.
Smiling isn't some trivial task like recycling where you can tell people to 'just do it because it's good for the environment'. People have their own lives going on. With their own trauma, grief, and hardships that you may not understand. They could be emotionally exhausted from barely keeping it together instead of mentally breaking down in public.
There's a massive difference between noticing someone isn't smiling, and doing something to make them happy and smile Vs just telling them to smile.
