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Dating apps and irl just isn't doing it. Escorts are pricey after awhile and not as satisfying and meaningful. Plus I don't wanna have to pay women for play every one time hookup. Any suggestions?

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[-] HatchetHaro@pawb.social 4 points 19 hours ago
[-] ruuster13@lemmy.zip 2 points 16 hours ago

Sick burn but srsly if a cis-sy comes to us with a broken cock, contrite spirit, and a willingness to retake the annual consent training course (including the entire addendum specifically for cis het men), we could identify the flaws in his game in less time than (in another universe) we could drain his ***** in the ********.

[-] ruuster13@lemmy.zip 3 points 16 hours ago

You're in the right place but may have the wrong attitude. Just remember: everyone you deem beneath you forgets about you the second they're underneath someone else.

[-] Fleur_@aussie.zone 4 points 18 hours ago

Gotta drop your standards

[-] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 17 hours ago

isnt that what tinder is for?

[-] blargh513@sh.itjust.works 135 points 2 days ago

If you're not able to go out and get some ass in the next 48 hours from a stranger, then you should probably not be replying with advice. For better or for worse, op is looking for a quick shag. Telling him to go to the library or church to find a gentle and kind lover who will appreciate him for his personality is not what is being asked for.

Son wants to clap some cheeks and wants to know where he can find a population of the sort of women who wants to get they cheeks clapped without a lot of questions.

I don't know if it is a realistic request, but thats what he asked.

[-] Sergio@lemmy.world 50 points 2 days ago

Straight talker! Upper management written all over 'em.

[-] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 day ago

I agree and disagree at the same time. Bars/clubs/etc can be good for quick hookups. Social hobbies can lay groundwork for much greater depths of sustained sluttery.

[-] False@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago

If it was realistic for op he probably wouldn't have to ask

[-] kn33@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago
[-] False@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago

Hence why I hedged my statement with 'probably'.

[-] Azzu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago

This comment was adressed at other people giving advice, not for OP.

[-] seathru@lemmy.sdf.org 79 points 2 days ago

Lower your standards and close down some bars.

[-] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 1 day ago

Honestly, one doesn't really have to have low standards when taking that approach. Just go to bars that fit one's vibe and talk to people, and don't be judgemental on superficial things. Either it'll click with someone or not.

To be fair, it does help if one finds the majority of people of their preferred gender(s) to have something beautiful about them.

And being a bit of a slut. I can state from personal experience that that helps. Embrace your inner slut (ethically).

[-] Weirdfish@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

This is the way

[-] vane@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

Mandatory cartoon instructions

Boomhauer Teaches Bobby How To Pick Up Women
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7FVmeJXwCY

[-] LeaveItToGod@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago

This was great thank you lmao

[-] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I hate that it works, but it definitely does.

[-] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 day ago

Step 1: be attractive. Step 2: be attractive.

If you want quick heterosexual sex woth a woman without paying you'll need to be attractive, that's about it.

Now, if you were gay things would be easier.

[-] JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago

You also need to be a bit more socially aware.

I've had many people tell me I'm attractive, yet at the same time I turned down coffee because it was the evening and I was trying to watch my caffeine intake. During my late school years someone sat next to me as I was eating Lucky Charms with chocolate milk, and said she loves chocolate after sex. My reaction? "Oh, I can only imagine! I quite like the combination with the marshmallows, as they absorb some of the taste. You see..."
Just a couple examples, though honestly it would be nice to have some sort of guidebook on these things. I swear I've missed a million and a half opportunities, only to be woken up from my sleep a year later all "MOTHERFUCKER".

[-] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Step 1: be funny, or witty, or share common interests, or kind, or have good hygiene

Source: am not very attractive, got very laid.

I guess I still do, since I'm married. But the requirements have changed slightly. Now it's more about listening and helping and being emotionally available.

[-] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

On bars and tinder?

Without being good locking you go nowhere nowadays. You don't even get a chance to show how funny, witty, common interests you have, much less to show that you have a good hygiene, for that you need a date first. And you are not getting swiped right if you are not attractive.

That is good for other kind of relationships, meeting people in other places and flirting. That can get you laid, but not the same type of quick casual sex that op is asking for. That's more of a "start a relationship" kind of deal.

For the kind of date that goes "let's have a drink to figure that you are not a psychopath that's going to kill me and then to my place to fuck", you need to be attractive (or open about having sex with other man).

I like to be clear with this. Because there's tons of very good young men, who are funny, have great hygiene, are witty, are nice. And they have to confront the reality that without being good locking they will have to assume that that kind of sex is most likely out of the table, and they better try to build other kind of relationships instead. i prefer that to gaslighting them into thinking they don't get laid because they are terrible people on the inside or have terrible hygiene, when this is most likely not true. And when they are seeing truly terrible people getting laid regardless because they are good looking.

My advice is that if you are not good looking you have mostly two options, think about experimenting with gay sex (you might like it) or completely opt out the dating scene (specially dating apps) and just build into making friends and potential love partners. Without really expecting quick casual sex, as that will lead to huge frustrations.

[-] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

and just build into making friends and potential love partners.

Oh, right. I should've led with that. Treating women like people, which is that you just described, is a prerequisite to getting laid.

What you described first is fuck-boy bar hookups. Yeah, you need to be attractive for that. But also no one really does that and you get STI going that route. I don't recommend it.

[-] prole 2 points 1 day ago

Ok, assume OP fits both rules. Then what

[-] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 day ago

Go on tinder or a music pub, whatever he prefers, and approach people that he finds attractive.

Go with respect and making things clear, to avoid issues. He would need a few tries but surely he would be able to find who finds him attractive and it's down for some uncompromised sexy time.

[-] prole 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Oh I meant without apps...

Also, you're not going to have strangers throwing themselves at you just for being attractive at a pub.

[-] dustyData@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

if you were gay things would be easier.

If you don't have standards, maybe …

Gays looking for a hookup are some of the most superficial and demanding dating pool members. Dudes looking like the Penguin on Batman Returns will demand Adonis or infant looking twinks and nothing else. It's very hard and very rare to find people actually willing to give a chance to non-hegemonic looking guys.

[-] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 17 hours ago

gay porn also pretty much ruined gay peoples expectation. its either twinks, daddies, buff guys, or abs,,,etc.

[-] LesbiansMadeMeGay 41 points 1 day ago

Well first of all through God all things are possible so jot that down.

[-] moseschrute@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 day ago

Shut up Mac

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

I have to put my penis inside God and go through him to stick my penis inside women???

Dude.

You overestimate the size of my penis. It is NOT 4 feet long!

[-] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Maybe you're supposed to put your dick in God then puppet God around to fuck the women with God's dick

[-] Kneew@lemy.lol 1 points 1 day ago

**

spoiler¯( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

[-] lemming741@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

This question is kinda like asking what's the easiest way to get rich quick?

  • Easy
  • Rich
  • Quick

Pick 2

[-] Apepollo11@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago

There was a guy with an awfully similar name to you, asking awfully similar questions.

I'm not trying to out you if you're actually the same guy trying to get around a ban, but if you are, why pick such a similar name? It's bordering on suspicious - picking an explicitly religious name then posting about prostitutes.

If this is coincidence, and you're a completely different guy with a similar name posting about a similar topic within the space of a week, I apologise - and I don't want to freak you out too much, but you may have a doppelganger.

[-] apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

Seeing this account with the same posts gives me bot vibes.

[-] mateofeo85@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

Go to a bar, look for a group of people. Find the chubby, not great looking girl/guy….profit.

[-] solrize@lemmy.ml 13 points 2 days ago

Oh I was going to suggest Mouser and DIgikey for most kinds of electrical stuff, but it sounds like you are after something different.

[-] jj4211@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

I mean given the right socket...

[-] MomoGajo@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 days ago

Get interested in the world around you in some way and then meet up with others with those same interests.

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[-] z3rOR0ne@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

The easiest thing to do is make friends with plenty of people IRL through a shared hobby or interest. Those that are interested in being FWB will make themselves apparent over time. Just be honest and when appropriate, let people know you're DTF, but not looking for anything more than sex right now.

There aren't many people not looking for long term monogomous committed relationships. There might even be none in your area depending on your age and other factors. But that's the best advice I can give on the matter.

EDIT: I know you said dating apps and IRL aren't working for you right now, but honestly, there really are only two places to find people: online and IRL, so my advice still stands.

[-] overload@sopuli.xyz 8 points 2 days ago

Join a choir. The ratio of men to women is very favourable and you're showing a musical/sensitive side that is generally appealing.

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Yeah, but I have the singing talent of Yoko Ono

[-] Brkdncr@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Friend of a friend used dating apps to find places to sleep while traveling, and couch surfing apps to find hookups.

[-] Fingolfinz@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

I have heard apps have become more difficult but that’s usually how I ended up finding hook ups. Bars and clubs are usually the other way. I’ve also been in a relationship for the last decade so maybe a lot has changed since I stopped having casual sex

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this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2025
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