247
You lost me at "retirement".
Ah yes the Boom Boom Boomer Plan
Ah yes, a 35 year old movie reference.
Prefect for our young readers.
Yeah this plan seems impractical and out of touch
If your fersona is a gerbil, you can live rent free in his ass.
Richard Gere?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Gere
Richard Tiffany Gere (/ɡɪər/ GEER;[1][2] born August 31, 1949) is an American actor. He began appearing in films in the 1970s, playing a supporting role in Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977) and a starring role in Days of Heaven (1978). Gere came to prominence with his role in the film American Gigolo (1980), which established him as a leading man and a sex symbol.
Ah.
OP is referencing Pretty Woman (1990), starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts.
You damn kids, don't know Richard Gere, get off my lawn, etc.
Millenial version of this is basically Nathan Fillion.
You might be able to kick me off your lawn (if you don't go underwater on your mortgage!)...
... but you can't take the sky from me.
I think I watched part of Pretty Woman at one point, lost interest, never finished it. Wouldn't have known the names of anyone in it, though.
Indecent proposal, more likely.
Richard Gere isn't in that. But he was in Pretty Woman, about a guy who hires a prostitute and falls in love with her.
Oh right, he isn't. My bad. It would have been a better fit though.
Can I get my gerbil back?
My retirement plan is to work until it hurts too much to work anymore, use whatever I've managed to save up to buy as much illegal drugs as I can get my hands on, enjoy literal bliss for however long [money ÷ cost of drugs] gets me.
Then, either 1) overdose and die, 2) go skydiving or something and just don't pull the parachute line, or 3) murder as many neonazis as I can until one of them kills me first. Gonna depend on the mood at the time.
this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2025
247 points (100.0% liked)
The Onion
6498 readers
367 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
- The Onion
- Clickhole
- McSweeney's
- Reductress
- The Chaser
- The Hard Times
- The Needling
- Tattletale Times
- The Beaverton
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS