6'2 white man and I often walk with a dog, so no, people do not fuck with me.

If I were a woman tho I'd be carrying a weapon, but not paranoid about it.

I don't necessarily look around like I'm being followed. But it took me a very long time to be comfortable listening to music or having headphones on while walking, or in public at all.

The idea of not being able to hear my surroundings and be ready to react to something is still really weird to me. It takes all of my mental effort to put it to the back of my brain while walking my dog.

It's not even necessarily worrying about someone with malicious intent. It could be not being able to sense another walker coming up behind me. Or two kids playing catch and a ball going astray towards my face. Just the idea of not having situational awareness at all times freaks me out.

I don't. I do make sure I'm not in a way of anyone. And I walk on purpose. I do check before opening/getting in the car.

Look at it like driving - you should be looking as far down the road as you can for "threats", and maintaining awareness of other cars and their behaviour all around you, and behind you, so you can predict what they're going to do.

We teach "Defensive Driving", which includes avoiding risky situations - don't let yourself get boxed in, watch for that car driving... assertively, and create a space for them to go so they don't cause problems for the rest of them, etc.

Rest of life is not really different - situational awareness is the primary tool for our safety. Don't step into the street without looking, don't walk under that ladder or scaffolding (things fall from work sites all the time), walk through the yard with the barking dog, etc.

Threats from people just become part of your overall situational awareness.

I recommend the book "The Gift of Fear" By Gavin deBecker. He essentially espouses the usefulness of fear and situational awareness.

Maybe this will help you reframe what seems paranoid fear into something more reasonable and useful.

Edit: The big thing is to engage in the society around you. If you're engaged, you're part of it all, people are aware of you. We actually get the word "idiot" from the Greeks - it was the term they used to describe people who didn't engage in the "polis" (society) - it meant someone not involved, not skilled at this (or other skills). So don't be an idiōtēs, engage with people!

Depends on the circumstances. If I'm walking on a street or neighborhood someone told me they got mugged on I'll be way more aware and observant than otherwise. Same if I'm walking in nature it's good to look behind regularly to be familiar with how the trail looks both ways so you don't get turned around on the way back or if there are large predators in the area. If I'm walking around my neighborhood I'll be much more selective about when I'm more observant because I know where the poorly lit areas and blind corners are, and more so at 2am than 2pm.

I'm a woman, so yeah. Especially while living in America right now.

As a woman, yes, especially at night, because I value my life.

You're not cautious, you're paranoid and fearful to the point it's a bit concerning for your mental health (although the suicidal ideation tells me the whole situation is more than just a bit concerning). You know this ain't normal, you know that's not how people are meant to live their lives, you know this cannot continue for long before you either snap at/hurt someone who didn't mean any harm or your mind breaks.

I know living in the USA cannot help your mental stability but it's not a favela, it really ain't that dangerous. Maybe moving to a smaller city or a town would work? Sometimes it's easier to change our circumstances than to change ourselves, and sometimes the former allows the letter as well.

Yes. Always. I even make sure I'm listening to audio books so I can hear.

I've been punched in the face by passers-by without any provocation in my life before, which has led to me constantly being vigilant.

Depends? Shady part of the city, late night, slightly drunk and alone? Absolutely. Going for lunch in a nic small town? Absolutely not. The street sign I run into would probably tell me it's sorry.

So, yeah, depends on the situation. I've had most negative interactions either in crowds or at places like train stations, so that is where I am most paranoid

Nope. I always have a weapon on me (stun gun usually), and that makes me feel more secure.

As a woman, constantly

Being aware of your surroundings, regardless of a "safe" or "dangerous" place is just street smarts. However, you may not realize that looking around every minute makes you look scared and people who want to victimize you will catch on to that fear and target you. And other people, that are not trying to harm you, will think there is something wrong with you and avoid you as the "danger stranger". I would suggest being more calm, use your ears as well as your eyes, and look a little less often. "Blend in" is the safe way to move through an area.

Nope. Grew up in a pretty rough town and you kinda know a lot of the undesirables. I’ve been alive for over 40 years and only once confronted in the street.

I’ll take walks home in the early hours of the morning (02:00) through very dark secluded areas.

Now if there was a pattern of people being attacked here, then I’d be taking a different route but I tend not to worry about things like this as it’s incredibly rare and the stress of worrying probably does more damage to your health than a would be attacker.

Edit: Have an example from a few days ago. Me and a couple of friends went for a smoke and a walk through a Forrest in pitch black with a flash light and I was more concerned with the bugs getting in my sliders than being murdered 😂.

Did you ever find anyone was following you? Or ever heard of a friend who was followed?

It surely happens but so do meteorite impacts and such cases make news because they're special. If it's not showing up in regional statistics (the nearest couple million people or so) and you don't even know a friend of a friend for whom checking would have been useful, I'd say it's unnecessary in the place where you are

Spacial awareness is good to have no matter who you are or what your situation is. What's not good is being constantly worried or paranoid.

I look for lots of things. Who's in the area, what's in the area and what are different ways to get out if I need to. But I'm not specifically on the lookout for weirdos, as in, I'm constantly worried they'll be there or anything. If I notice someone sus I keep tabs on them until I don't think it's a threat.

One night I was out walking my dog, who was still under a year old (he was already a big dog though), and a guy is walking in the opposite direction. I see him coming but he's got a hoodie on and pulled up over his head, ducked in a way that I can't see his face. My radar didn't go off, but I made sure to watch him out of the corner of my eye as we passed each other. Then, he turns and heads straight for me.

So, I turned towards him and put my hands up. I couldn't outrun him with my dog, and I figured once I started making a commotion my dog might help out.

It turned out to be my (now-ex) fiance playing a trick on me, seeing what I would do. Once he saw me square up he threw back his hood and gave me a lecture on how I should have ran.Fucking asshole behavior, but I guess now I know what I'd do in that situation.

Anyway, no one's ever done that to me since, but I still keep my wits about me. I also don't think I'm constantly going to be followed by creepers either.

I do it subconsciously, 100% of the time. I'm always aware of potential threats.